PROMISES
by raydyan
Summary: Alternate Universe. Max and Logan have to deal with the repercussions of a broken promise that young Logan made to a young Max. **Complete**
1. Prologue: The Promise

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters and I am not making money of them.   
  
Author's note: Reviews would be nice :)   
  
PROMISES   
  
**Prologue**   
  
It was midafternoon, a quiet day anticipating the coming of fall. Most of the tourists who rented the nearby cottages were almost all gone.   
  
Logan was seated by the lake overlooking the Victorian mansion his family had been staying at for the summer. The trees surrounding him served as a protection from the blazing rays of the sun. Logan usually enjoyed afternoons like this, watching the geese trail along the edge of the lake and being alone with his thoughts. Silence had that power to replenish the mind. But not that day.   
  
Logan was troubled by the news his mother had told him earlier in the morning. He had spent all his time since then to find a solution to his recent discovery. He turned sixteen on his last birthday and up until then, he had always thought that anything he wanted was within his reach. The car he received as a present symbolized his independence and freedom. Throwing a pebble that hopped three times on the surface of the water, he realized that for the first time in his life, he felt hopeless. There wasn't a thing he could do to keep her.   
  
Cold, clammy hands covered Logan's eyes.   
  
"Guess who ? !" an energetic sweet little voice behind him shouted. He recognized it immediately, afterall, he had heard that voice screaming at his ears all summer.   
  
"Max." He said flatly.   
  
"Ah ! You're no fun Logan." Max pouted as she settled herself beside him.   
  
The two of them sat side by side, and the only sound that interrupted an otherwise quiet ambiance was the very loud chewing noises that Max was making with her bubble gum.   
  
"Max that's annoying. Stop it." Logan said, his gaze still fixated on the mansion.   
  
"What's the matter with you, huh ?" Max folded her legs and put her arms on top of her knees, copying Logan's position.   
  
"I can't tell you." Or so his mother said, 'It would be a nice surprise for Max' but he knew better than to believe it.   
  
Max became serious. "Oh, so there is something to tell."   
  
"Tomorrow something is gonna happen."   
  
And they both knew what that something was. Max had always known that one day her uncle Donald would come for her. But she didn't want it to be then. Or ever.   
  
Max's first few weeks with Logan's family had been hard. She couldn't wait for her Uncle Donald to come, especially since teasing her had become Logan's favorite hobby. It took a while, but after that sandbox incident, he kinda grew into her. So much so that she never wanted to leave.   
  
"Logan I don't want to go."   
  
"I know." Logan looked at Max. She had always been mature for her tender age, and had grown even more so after her parents died. But despite it all she was still a child. Still so innocent and trusting.   
  
"Don't let him take me, Logan please..." Max pleaded to Logan as she clinged around his waist with tears streaming down her face.   
  
"Max, if there was something I could do, I'd be doing it right now." Logan managed to say without revealing feelings of grief and guilt.   
  
***   
  
It was dark and cold, Logan had his arm protectively over Max's shoulders. Her initial violent outburst had been replaced by gentle, quiet sobs as her 6 year old mind made sense of the fact that she was leaving the next day.   
  
"Will you write to me everyday?" Max finally said after hours of silence. She sighed, her uncle's house in Greece was a long way from Seattle.   
  
Logan turned his face down to look at Max and he found her big brown eyes looking at him expectantly.   
  
"I will." He used the back of his fingers to wipe the tears on her cheek.   
  
And then he added meaning every word, "And as soon as I'm old enough to take care of you, I'll get you back."   
  
Feeling hopeful, Max asked, "You promise ?"   
  
"I promise."   
  



	2. Part 1: A Broken Promise

A/N: Thank you for the feedback and constructive criticism :) This was supposed to go with the prologue that's why it's short but I'm still just learning my way around here, so it's a day late.  
  
**Part One**   
  
*15 Years Later*   
  
Max arrived at Seattle International Airport at midnight. The flight from Greece had been long and she couldn't wait to reach the hotel and go to sleep. She would eat first of course, airplane food just did not suit her taste.   
  
  
Inside the limousine and with the sight of towering buildings highlighting the night view of Seattle, Max's exhaustion gave way to recollection of memories she was desperately trying to avoid.   
  
~~~~FLASHBACK~~~~   
  
Light shining through the small oval window over Max's head woke her up. She dreaded this day just as much as she anticipated it. She knew how it would be but she just couldn't suppress the hope that maybe this time it would be different.   
  
Max's bedroom door opened and revealed an elderly lady wearing a nursemaid's uniform. She had a small frame and an amourous face, with the years adding a few grey hair and some weight.   
  
"Good morning Ms. Maxine." Gemma greeted Max as she had done every morning since the little girl arrived. She remembered the first day Mr. Lydecker brought her home. Max had been so tiny, so vulnerable and so very lonely. Several years later, her looks promised to be of beauty and her vulnerability was slowly being replaced by quiet strength, or as her uncle would say, cunning cynicism. But oh poor child, she was still as lonely.   
  
"Good morning." Max said nonchalantly as she took her grapefruit juice.   
  
Gemma settled the rest of Max's breakfast on her study table and ceremoniously changed the date on her calendar, NOVEMBER 11.   
  
Gemma stood in the middle of the room, hoping not to confront the inevitable question which Max never failed to ask in all the years she'd known her.   
  
Max finished her breakfast without a word. Relieved, the elderly woman cleared the table and finally headed for the door.   
  
"Ummm...wait."   
  
Gemma turned to look at a hesitant Max "Yes Ms. Maxine ?"   
  
Max took a deep breath, reluctant because she already knew what the answer was, it had been the same answer for the past five years. « Is...are...is twenty six old enough to take care of someone ? »   
  
"I believe so." She regretted saying this since it brought concealed disappointment on Max's face.   
  
Max nodded, contemplating for a while, adultlike acceptance replaced childlike hope. Formally dismissing the elderly lady, she said,   
  
"Thank you Gemma. Kindly send Fely up here please." Fely was the household cook.   
  
"She won't be serving 'Poulet chez Cale' today ?" Gemma was confused, they always had baked chicken on   
  
November 11. She never knew why or what the 'chez cale' meant but every year on this day, Max had always insisted on preparing the special dish.   
  
"No, not today." [ Nor any other day, he'll never come ! ] The last of Max's hopes vanished and emptiness sinked in.   
  
~~~~END OF FLASHBACK~~~~  



	3. Part 2: Anticipation

A/N: Thank you for the reviews :). I also want to thank Laura for proof reading this for me. I promise the next chapters WILL be a lot longer than this one.  
  
**Part 2**  
  
Logan was frivolously rearranging his late father's desktop. The oak wood table matched the rest of the room where wooden cabinets lined the walls and dark leather chairs, a few fern plants and expensive artwork completed the design. Bling, as the family lawyer was affectionately known, was seated on a nearby swivel chair, amusing himself with Logan's impressive display of domestic talents. He was very much aware that Logan was nervous.   
  
He and Max Guevara, the other heir of Biotech Publishing, had not seen each other for many years. Mr. Guevara and Mr. Cale Sr. were equal partners in the conglomerate, publishing established scientific journals with investigative literatures and random philosophical papers. Since both were finally deceased, complete ownership was transferred to their children.   
  
Logan run his fingers through his spiky blond hair. The desk could not get any cleaner so he finally gave up his attempts to keep himself busy while waiting for Max. The last time he heard, she had been doing a double major degree in English and Human Biology. He tried not to concern himself much since the mere thought of her brought back painful memories. Events that had hurt him at twenty one, and even if he won't admit it to himself, still hurt him then.   
  
"Hello Logan. " Startled, Logan searched for the source of the familiar voice. There she stood, tall, poised, confident and stunningly beautiful. She was wearing a navy blue linen ensemble and a white satin undershirt, her curly hair up in a tousled knot, and her lips painted glossy pink. No longer innocent, no longer trusting, and no longer a child.   
  
"Hello Max."   
  
***   
  
Max took a deep breath before entering the office the secretary showed her. She wasn't sure if she was ready to face Logan but the circumstances allowed her no choice. She could never give up her ownership of the company, it was the only tangible remains that connected Max to her father. Growing up, in the very little time she spent with him, he had instilled in her that one day she would need to take over his position. In the back of her mind, she had always been aware of that responsibility and the time had come for her to fulfill it.   
  
Entering the room, Max's eyes first landed on a good looking Black man reading over what she assumed was the will. Over by the left, she found Logan staring intently at the Seattle skyline.   
  
Max remembered Logan to be the intellectual type. She loved bothering him when he was reading a book because the look he would give her was just so precious. Deep entrapment within another world would turn into a mixture of happiness [to see her, she hoped] and annoyance because something magical was lost.   
  
Logan's glasses covered his blue-like-the-lake coloured eyes. Max liked the glasses on him, it added a nice touch to his Armani tailored suit. So, the boy grew up fine, she had to give him that. Too bad he ruined her life, otherwise he would have been perfect.   
  
Logan gave her a surprised look after she greeted him. Adoration was spelled in his eyes but he quickly blinked it away.   
  
"Hello Max. It's been a long time."   
  
"Yes it has." Max agreed. "How have you been ?"   
  
And so went their polite civilities and cool facade. While deep down both would have preferred to shake the other up and ask 'why'.   
  
As soon as introductions to Bling were made, the three proceeded to talk about business. Logan and Max each owned fifty percent of the publishing house. This meant a lot of compromise if ever the two disagreed on decisional matters. By the looks of it, even their outward civil accords could not hide the impending fact that the office would soon be a thriving battlefield.   
  
The rest of Max's first day went smoothly, under the circumstances. Logan had been courteous to her and she to him. So the established status quo was unconsciously set. Both would put on their professional personas in the office and whatever personal issues they both may have would be dealt with in the undetermined future. This was not the ideal situation but it would have to do since digging up past betrayals and questions could ruin the delicate transition that Biotech was going through  
  



	4. Part 3: ?

A/N Again thanks so much for the encouraging reviews ;) As always, constructive criticisms are very much welcomed and appreciated. Laura, thanks for being a great beta.   
  
A/N: Sorry this took forever, every time I tried to upload this, the site wasn't working. Anyway, here it is...   
  
*Part 3*   
  
"So Logan, are we?" Sebastian was weary with expectations as Logan paced around the room.   
  
Would they or would they not take on the government of the most powerful country in the world? Logan's basic survival instincts, sharpened by millions of years of evolution, screamed a loud *NO!*. However, the reporter instinct he had developed and often indulged - or was it arrogance and naivete?- had lead him to the contrary.   
  
Logan paused and leaned against the wall with his clasped hands under his forehead. Which path would he take? Both ways may lead to devastating consequences, it was just a matter of which one he would rather deal with. Letting out a breath, he straightened out and confidently masked all reservations.   
  
"Yes, we are" He declared.   
  
Sebastian nodded with understanding and quickly tried to wheel himself out before Logan changed his mind. He had known Logan since high school. Long enough to know when Logan was truly committed towards a cause or whether he was only doing what he thought was right. Right then, he knew that it was Logan's sense of duty to righteousness that made him decide as he did.   
  
Oh, but Sebastian didn't wheel himself fast enough. Blocking his exit was Max Guevara. With papers on one hand and a not-so-content demeanor suggested by her fight-like stand and fiery eyes, Sebastian was glad he was not on the receiving end of her glare.   
  
Nevertheless, he managed to say, "Hello Ms. Guevara."   
  
Max absent-mindedly looked at Sebastian, for a moment, she hadn't realized that she and Logan were not alone. Recovering quickly, "Oh, hello...", she went through the list of names she memorized from her welcome party and matched one to the face in front of her, "...Sebastian".   
  
"I'm surprised you remembered." He wasn't, but he smiled politely anyway.   
  
"I have a good memory." Max's reply was curt, meaning to send the message that she wanted to attack, no, talk to Logan alone.   
  
Sebastian was happy to comply, "Excuse me, I was on my way out." He continued wheeling himself out as Max made room for him to pass.   
  
Logan, being the sensitive male that he was, got the feeling that Max was very upset. That had only meant one thing, she had read and understood the implications of Clause 100 in their working arrangements.   
  
"Hi Max, I thought we said we'd meet at the press room."   
  
With natural grace, Max took her time to sit comfortably, prolonging the tension that was starting to cloud the room. She crossed her legs and pointed on the piece of paper that she laid on the desk. "Mind explaining to me what that means?"   
  
Innocently, Logan leaned over to read the statement and replied. "It means that we share decisional powers over the classic 5." These were the original 5 journals that their parents started with and until recently, were the only ones under the Biotech umbrella.   
  
Max smirked, "Wrong Logan, that means I don't get to have a say in EO". EO was the newest addition to Biotech, and in which Logan was both the founder and the Editor in Chief.   
  
"Well, not exactly." Logan shifted his weight, getting a little uncomfortable.   
  
"Oh yeah? Well, how is it exactly? Please do enlighten me." She demanded mockingly.   
  
"Ummm...." Logan searched his right brain for something creative to say. "Well, Max, it's always been that way." He tried to explain. "Even my dad allowed me full control over EO."   
  
She nodded in agreement, "Yes, that's true, and that's about to change."   
  
"But..."   
  
"Have Bling change that little clause, won't you?" Max rose from her seat and gave Logan a dismissive wave.   
  
"Max reason with me here." Logan caught up with Max and he touched her elbow, urging her to face him.   
Max looked at the hand touching her, it felt weird yet familiar at the same time. She brushed it off. "I'll give him one week or I'll have my lawyers draft it for him" She said with a sweet generous smile.   
  
"You can't do that" Logan couldn't believe Max was actually thinking about replacing Bling. Has she changed that much?   
  
"What Logan? I've only been here for two days and you're already undermining my authority?" Her eyebrow inched a tad closer to the ceiling.   
  
"No, that's not what I meant. Bling's family has been working for us for the longest time..."   
  
"For the longest time did you say? Well, I'm sure he'll enjoy the idea of an early retirement." Her smile had gotten unbelievably closer to the saccharine side of sweet.   
  
"Max wait, hear me out." Logan pleaded, he didn't understand why Max was acting this way.   
  
Max, although she enjoyed the sight of a grown man almost begging, decided she had enough of her little game. "Fine, talk."   
  
"You'll get the first copy of each addition" So, Logan hadn't changed that much, always the negotiator.   
  
"Not good enough."   
  
Logan tried again, "Okay, I'll relinquish control over one of the five."   
  
"Please Logan, don't do me any favours." She crossed her arms and dared Logan to ask her THE question.   
  
Logan was afraid it would come to this, "Okay Max, what would it take for you to drop this?"   
  
"I want a say in EO."   
  
With a serious tone in his voice, Logan said, "Except for that."   
  
"Why?"   
  
Logan couldn't exactly say that not everything they were doing at EO was technically legal. "It's irrelevant."   
  
Oh touchy! "Alright Logan, I want Psych Review, Genetics Today and Neurophysiology. You get consultation powers, but I get to turn it into whatever I please. How's that?"   
  
~~~FLASHBACK~~~   
  
"Logan!!!!!!" Max knocked on his arm cast for the hundredth time.   
  
"Hellllllllllo!!!!!!" Max leaned over, putting her ear over the cast and knocked again. "Anyyyyyybody theeeere?" She giggled. For some reason that Logan couldn't fathom, that amused her.   
  
"Max what are you doing?" This little repetitive play was starting to annoy him. It was cute the first few times, but after a while, it had lost all its appeal.   
  
"Knocking!" She stated with a *Duh!* expression on her face.   
  
"I'm trying to write an essay, go knock someplace else. Like a door, where *normal* people knock." Logan turned away so Max wouldn't be able to reach the left arm he had injured while playing basketball.   
  
Max stood still with arms on both sides and seriously contemplated whether she would comply or not.   
As if a light bulb turned on over her head, she smiled deviously. This was a girl with a plan! "Only if I get a piggy back ride. With no short cuts this time!"   
  
"No way Maxie!" Logan's back was still hurting from his accident on the basketball court.   
  
Max took baby steps towards Logan and threatened to knock again. Each of her shoulder bopped in coordination with her steps.   
  
"Alright, alright!" Logan laughed and raised his free arm to surrender.   
  
Max squealed with childish delight and hurriedly hopped onto Logan's back.   
  
~~~END OF FLASHBACK~~~   
  
Max always knew how to manipulate her way. Logan couldn't believe he hadn't realized her intent sooner. Too late, he just lost a battle he didn't even know he was fighting. So this was her game. He'd be more prepared just in case there was a next time. "I don't like it Max."   
  
To Max's satisfaction, Logan reacted in her favour. She wasn't sure how Logan would take her threats and she wanted to know early on who had the upper hand in their business partnership. The day before, with Logan's almost excessive politeness, she never figured out if he wanted her to be a part of the company or if he was just waiting for a chance to get her out. With Logan reacting this way, it seemed that he had already accepted that their business relationship was permanent. Anticipated future interaction always did make people easier to manipulate, they were nicer and more willing to please.   
  
So, it looked like Max would stay at Biotech for good. But most importantly, Logan would know not to try any tricks to buy her out. Her performance was just a little reminder, in case Logan had forgotten, that she knew how to get her way. What better way to advertise to Logan that the trusting child he knew her to be had disappeared into the smart-mouthed b!tch that she became? He would know better than to mess with her.   
  
Max leveled her brows and victory danced in her eyes. "The press is waiting Logan, would you like to announce the changes or should I."   
  
Logan said coolly, regaining his pride back, "I'm sure you already have a speech prepared, why don't you do the honours?"   
  
"I'd be glad to."


	5. Part 4: Angel Dance

A/N: Thanks again for the reviews :) Please feel free to e-mail me if you have any comments or feedback at raydyan@yahoo.ca. To Laura, thanks for your help :)   
  
**Part 4**   
  
Logan readjusted his glasses as he read the financial section of the Seattle Times. Biotech's stock market shares were as strong as ever and Logan, though unwillingly, attributed that to Max. The performance she gave in her first press conference was every publicist's dream. She was beautiful, well spoken and had the right sense of humor to charm and captivate the reporters while diverting questions she didn't want to deal with.   
  
Since the press conference when Max announced that everything was going well with Biotech, Logan had tried very hard to stay out of her way. At first because his ego was still a bit bruised by how Max walked all over him, without him realizing so until it was too late. But after he recuperated, he needed a few days to examine himself about how he felt about Max. He couldn't buy off Max's share of the company, especially since Max had already made a nice niche for herself as the head of their three journals. Not that he would want to if he did have the opportunity because he liked the idea of working with Max.   
  
Logan searched his heart for what he wanted to happen. He and Max could no longer continue their scripted drama. It was exhausting to always wonder if he said the right words or if he was polite enough. After all, Max wasn't a little girl anymore needing his protection. Besides, Max had proved that she could take care of herself and did not need him to be kind to her. In fact, *he* needed to reassert himself or she would step on him whenever he got in her way, she already had actually.   
  
After hours of deliberation, Logan decided that he would attempt to be himself and not hide behind some corporate executive mask anymore. All he had to do then was make sure that Max did the same. If the past was better left where it was, as they both implicitly decided, then at least the present would not be a contest on who could appear to be the most well mannered while trying to maneuver the other down. Finally, he could only hope that what Max felt about him would change with time.   
  
***   
  
Max was starting to learn the dynamics of everyday operation in the publishing world. Her desk was covered with financial statements, research papers and other relevant documents that she needed to know to function effectively. The Friday morning of her first week was generally going well.   
  
Logan let himself in Max's spacious office, which was still barren except for a tiny picture of a motorcycle that was posted up on her tuck board. Max obviously hadn't had the time to add her personal touch to the room. Or maybe she liked the simplicity, Logan wasn't sure.   
  
"Hey Max, I hope that you're adjusting well." Logan commented.   
  
Max's head quickly turned up from a genetic research paper she was reading, "Yes, thank you." She couldn't help but add, "I hope that you will knock next time.".   
  
"Have you had a chance to see the city yet?" Max wasn't sure if this was an indirect apology or if he just completely ignored her remark, at least he asked it with a smile.   
  
"No, I've been busy. " She tilted her head towards the pile of papers on her desk.   
  
"Of course." Logan continued, "Listen, I made dinner reservations at Angelo's tonight, we're expected around 8:00."   
  
'Did he just say 'we'?'. "Excuse me?"   
  
Uh-oh, she sounded pissed. Testing how Max would respond... "I said be ready by 7:30 because we have reservations at 8:00."   
  
Max was not accustomed to Logan's treatment toward her. He was acting genuinely kind. She got suspicious and as a result, she doubled up on the imaginary protective gates around her. She gave Logan a sharp look that would have went through his head if it was a knife. "How very kind of you to concern yourself with my social life..."   
  
Damn! Logan had to regurgitate back under his mask as he felt rejection coming. He quickly interrupted, "Who said anything about social? Tonight's dinner is about business."   
  
"Well, how presumptuous of me, I apologize." They both knew the apology was shallow. "Why wait for dinner when we can discuss business right now?"   
  
"That won't be possible, I'm running late for a meeting as it is and I'm occupied for the rest of the day." That was a lie, would Max buy it?   
  
"On Monday then." Ok, she bought it, but not entirely.   
  
"It can't wait till then." Another lie.   
  
Max thought for a moment. So the man couldn't lie, but he was very good at hiding his intent because she certainly couldn't read him then. He came in treating her as if she was his best friend and then all of a sudden, he seemed so distant. What was he up to? She knew better than to agree but she gave in to her curiosity nonetheless. "Fine. I'll meet you at Angelo's at 8."   
  
Logan was about to suggest that he would pick her up when he realized that this was the best offer he would get.   
  
***   
  
Angelo's was in a very posh part of downtown Seattle. The smell of good Italian food greeted the well-dressed patrons as soon as they entered the door. The dim lights inside with scented vanilla candles and soft jazz music created a romantic atmosphere that promised a lovely evening.   
  
Logan kicked himself for picking Angelo's for the night's setting. The place had served him well with the ladies in the past but he wasn't seducing Max as he had been the others, well, not exactly.   
  
A waiter escorted Max to the table where Logan was waiting. Again, she confirmed how beautiful she had become in her red strapless dress. A black chiffon shawl that draped from her shoulders did a horrible job covering her bare smooth skin, much to Logan's pleasure.   
  
"You look charming." Logan stood up, took Max's hand and led her to the empty seat opposite his chair.   
  
"Thank you." Max was tempted to return the compliment. After all, he did look great in his tux and the sheepish grin on his face, as if apologizing for the place, was almost irresistible. But she opted not to.   
  
Max was halfway through her pasta when she decided that she had enough conversation about the weather, the market and all the other "neutral" topics people talked about.   
  
"Logan you said this was about business. Obviously, it's not. So what did you really want to talk about." Though not showing it, Max was a little nervous because it was still too soon to break their status quo.   
  
'Where should I start, Max? The letters? Uncle Don? Maybe we should talk about the fact that you hated me in a time when all I could think about was having you back? No, better yet, never mind.'   
  
"The matter I wanted to discuss was resolved this afternoon. I realize that I could have told you that earlier but I saw no reason why we couldn't take this evening to get reacquainted instead." Logan hoped that he didn't sound too rehearsed. Cooly, he added, "But if you prefer to leave..." then left it at that.   
  
Max hadn't figured out yet what Logan was up to, he was getting harder to read by the minute. She consoled herself with the fact that at least she could tell when he was lying, like then, again. She would let that one slide.   
  
"No, I'm fine. The food is delicious." she said flatly but she really meant it.   
  
Logan took her response as an invitation and he started talking about his trip to Sicily where he had the most fantastic Italian meal in one of his friend's villa.   
  
Despite of her self, Max couldn't help but remember how much she enjoyed Logan's company. And if she had watched herself tonight, like Logan had, she would have realized that a couple of smiles she gave him were not the fake kind that she had mastered through out the years.   
  
Logan felt that he was doing a great job at not hiding behind his mask. Max needed some more work though.   
  
***   
  
Soft claps filled the air as the band resumed their position on the stage. The ensemble consisted of two piano players, a saxophonist, a violinist and a singer. All were dressed in black, except the only lady in the group who took the mike and invited everyone to dance. Her navy blue dress floated across the stage as she stepped aside while the others prepared their instrument.   
  
Max and Logan were finishing up their coffee when the familiar melody reached them.   
  
  
~~~FLASHBACK~~~   
  
Max trailed her fingertips along the staircase as she tiptoed her way down. She sat on a step halfway through her descent and surveyed the salon in front of her. She recognized a few people as friends of her parents; they were chatting in their usual self-glorifying tone with glasses of champagne in their hands. Her inquiring eyes then noticed some light movements below her. She peered down between two posts and saw several couples, including Logan's parents, on the floor dancing. As if on cue, Logan walked in from the garden. He seemed oblivious of his surrounding and had his complete attention to the figure who was helping him arrange his bow tie. He had a smile that Max had never seen before as he took in everything about the adoring face looking intently up at him. Logan held his hand and the girl took it and both walked toward the dance floor.   
  
Max stood up quickly and continued her way down, annoyed that her Winnie the Pooh nightgown was too long and she kept stepping on it. She ignored the hello-Maxie-aren't-you-supposed-to-be-sleeping comments and went directly to where Logan and the girl were. Both didn't see her approaching so they were startled as she tugged on the girl's skirt. Max took the girl's leg with one hand and Logan's with the other as she separated them and forced herself in between.   
  
"Hey Max." Logan said amused as he looked at her then back to the girl.   
  
"Hey" Max said almost shyly, embarrassed about interrupting the dance, but quite not sure why she did it.   
  
"Well, what do we have here? I didn't realize there was a line up Logan. I think I just finished my turn dancing with you." The girl laughed and pointed toward the cocktail table.   
  
Logan nodded and winked, then turned her attention back to Max, who was starting to get upset because she couldn't understand the subtext of what was happening around her. She pouted, feeling very small around the grown ups towering over her.   
  
Logan couldn't help but pick her up and kiss her forehead. Max finally giggled and wrapped her tiny legs around Logan as she rested her own forehead on his. Logan balanced Max with one arm and took her right hand with his left one and he swayed both of them around the dance floor.   
  
"You are supposed to be sleeping." He said as he readjusted Max's weight.   
  
"I was, but the music woke me up, it's so loud" Max complained as she nestled her head on Logan's left shoulder. She noticed how Logan's hand was so big compared to hers.   
  
"Do you want to sleep downstairs? It's less noisy there"   
  
"OK" Max closed her eyes. She felt like she was flying, like an angel with the music propelling her wings. She started to hum and decided that she liked the song.   
  
"It's Valse Triste" Max heard Logan say.   
  
"What?" She tried opening her eyes, but her lids were heavy, she was very sleepy.   
  
"The song, it's called Valse Triste."   
  
"Oh."   
  
~~~END OF FLASHBACK~~~   
  
  
Max blinked, "I'm sorry what did you say?"   
  
"I asked if you wanted to dance." Logan put his serviette on the table and offered a hand to Max.   
She took it gently and Logan lead her to the dance floor. Logan's hand found its way on her back as his other one claimed her hand and they started to dance. He guided both of them around the room, with every step synchronized with the music.   
  
Max didn't understand the sudden overwhelming sensations around her stomach. She felt lightheaded so she clutched on Logan's arm to support herself. Then it hit her; she was feeling it again. She swore that she would never let Logan make her feel that way, but there she was in his arms, feeling so desperately insecure and helpless.   
  
'Max what were you thinking? He just fed you pasta and you start crumbling apart. No! Never again! Get yourself together!'   
  
"Max are you ok?" Logan whispered softly.   
  
"Yeah, I'm fine." And Logan had a feeling that whatever door he opened on Max's protective gates just shut in front of his face. 


	6. Part 5: Forgiveness

A/N Feedback would be nice and thank you to those who leave a review for each post : ) Thanks Laura for beta-ing this for me : )  
  
A/N Just a recap for those wondering what the relationship is between young Max and young Logan. Their parents are business partners (Biotech) so growing up, I think it's fair to assume that they had some interactions in parties, gatherings etc. Then Max's parents died so she temporarily stayed with Logan's family until her next of kin, her Uncle Donald, came to take her in for good. A lot of the flashbacks take place during her stay with Logan's family. If you reread the prologue and part 1 now, I think it will make a lot more sense : ) Sorry for the confusion  
  
Part 5 Max was flipping through her notes as she walked inside a spacious conference room. She was early so it wasn't a surprise that no one was there yet. Fortunately though, someone had sense enough to put coffee and croissants on a small table by the entrance. She took a bite of the croissant, it wasn't exactly the petite dejeuner it was trying to imitate but it would do since she was hungry. Max then picked up a cup and poured herself some black coffee as she made a mental note to get a Cappuccino machine for her French Vanilla. The coffee tasted bitter as she swallowed it so she tried opening some sugar packets while she balanced her reports on one hand. The packet ripped open and tiny sugar crystals spilled all over at the same time everything she was carrying fell on the floor.   
  
'Damn!' Max settled her cup on the table and stepped back to gather up her files.   
  
"Aww!" She heard someone behind her cry out in pain as she stepped on what obviously was the person's toe. She swung around and readjusted her footing as she took hold of the person's arm to balance herself.   
  
Looking up to apologize, she found herself standing next to Logan, a paper thick distance away from him.   
  
"Sorry." She mumbled as Logan caught both her shoulders to help her balance.   
  
"Its alright, you didn't hear me coming. You know, with the carpets and everything." He said not breaking eye contact from her, his breath teasing Max's lips as he said each word.   
  
Max, for the first time, was not able to avoid looking into Logan's blue eyes. They were full of concern and questions and everything she didn't want to deal with just yet. Things she didn't know how to handle yet.   
  
Moments passed and the two of them stood in silence, unmoving.   
  
Then Max broke the spell that seemed to have taken them both. She cleared her throat and stepped aside, breaking free from Logan's gaze and touch.   
  
"I was just going over the editorial for Bioethics." She managed to say as she picked up the papers on the floor. Logan took a step back to help her but she stopped him. "No, it's ok, I got it."   
  
Straightening herself, Max asked, "So, um, yeah, do you have your presentations ready?" She felt dumb asking the question, of course he had them ready, but she couldn't think of anything else to say.   
  
Logan's heart sank. It had been a week since their dinner and the only exchanges that took place between them were business conference calls and the like. Maybe he was expecting too much from Max. Maybe she needed more time to get used to him before they could get rid of the anxious tension that surrounded them every time they were together.   
  
Accepting defeat that Max would not cooperate with his subtle lets-be-friends plans, Logan answered somberly, "Yeah, they're done, it should be good."   
  
Max felt Logan withdraw, it panicked her yet soothed her all at once. She didn't feel like he was trying to lure her into some trap anymore, yet she felt a surprising sense of lost. "I'm sure it is."   
  
All the Editors in Chief from Biotech's journals slowly made their way into the room, each one stopping by to get breakfast and cordially chatting to both Max and Logan. As soon as everyone was at their places, Logan started his presentation.   
  
Max looked at Logan as he explained a pie chart to his attentive audience. What was she going to do with him? Their dance brought back feelings of panic she thought she had gotten rid of. They used to invade her when she was most vulnerable, during her sleep. She would dream herself locked up in a dark corner of a room. Abandoned, unworthy and unloved. Logan was there like a shadow but he didn't move, she would beg and scream for him but nothing would happen. Then she would wake up, more lonely and aware that she was alone.   
  
Max hadn't had any panic attacks since she was sixteen, the year when she finally accepted that she was on her own and Logan would never come to get her. The year when she finally convinced herself that she didn't care anymore. That she wasn't scared to go out in the world and dare because she had nothing else to lose. She had nothing else except herself.   
  
There was a time when she hated Logan. It had hurt her to realize that the one she trusted most could ever abandon her by choice. She literally based her whole life to a promise he made when she was taken away from him. He said he would get her back but he never did. She waited but he never came. Sometimes, Max felt sorry for the naïve child that she was. For how gullible she had been to actually believe him.   
  
She used to think that it was her, that there was something about her that made people go away. Maybe she was right but she soon stopped worrying about her unworthiness. After being subjected to intense pain for years she stopped giving a damn. She grew confident as each minute passed that Logan no longer affected her. That she could forget about the past and live her life as she pleased.   
  
But how could she? How could she trust anybody again when people who were supposed to love her had left her alone? She had work so hard to deal with the consequences of her past. She had deluded herself that she had come to terms with it all. She hadn't, and deep down she knew that. She tried to forget and at times she would almost succeed.   
  
Seeing Logan again had so much baggage attached to it. What was she to do? Could she treat Logan like any other man she worked with?   
  
~~~FLASHBACK~~~   
  
Max took off her runners as it became apparent that she couldn't play inside the sandbox without getting sand inside her shoes. She put it aside on the wood that enclosed her and the handful of other kids playing. A blond little girl about Max's age waved as she jumped inside the box. Max reluctantly waved back and then continued working on her sandcastle.   
  
"Hi I'm Diane. Never seen you here before." She said joyfully as she picked up a shovel to help Max.   
  
Max expressionlessly looked at the girl who took her shovel and accurately recalled that she never gave her permission to touch it. "I'm Max." She reached out and took her shovel away.   
  
"You just moved?" Diane grabbed a bucket by her feet and improvised, using her hands to fill it up.   
  
"Yeah." Max then informed Diane impatiently, "These are my toys you know."   
  
"I know." She smiled and continued filling up her bucket. "I'm helping you."   
  
Commotion at the other end of the sandbox stole Max and Diane's attention. With all the confidence he could muster, a chubby little boy with rosy cheeks and upturned nose walked over to a group of kids who, to Max's estimate, were four year olds or less.   
  
"Yikes, Brandon's here." Diane's disgust was obvious on her face as she reached inside her pocket.   
  
Max observed as a girl in ponytails and frilly lilac dress looked with panic to where the grown ups were sitting, which was a good ten meters away from them. The nannies were too busy gossiping to notice the change of mood in the play area. Brandon made his way to the girl and he took something from her hand. Max watched with interest as Brandon inspected what looked like a coin and gave the girl an approving tap on the head. The girl then let out a breath of relief and continued playing.   
  
"Here, give this to him when he comes." Diane shoved a piece of Lindt in Max's hand.   
  
"Why?" Max looked at the chocolate and started unwrapping it.   
  
"Because if you don't, he'll be mean to you. You won't come here anymore." Then in a conspiring tone, she added, "That's what happened to Nica, she's my best friend before you. Here he comes, don't look at him, just give him the candy, ok?"   
  
Max popped the entire chocolate in her mouth as Diane's jaw drop in disbelief.   
  
"Hey kid, Diane explained you the rules around here?" Brandon paused in front of Max, trying to intimidate.   
  
"Yes." Max stood up, she was tall for her age so she was a good five inches over him.   
  
"So, what have you got for me?" He was unabashed.   
  
"This." Max shoved the boy away and he landed on his butt. By this time, all the kids were watching in suspense and wondering at the same time if the new kid had some loose screws in the head.   
  
Brandon's face reddened with anger as beads of sweat pooled on his nose. "You! You!" He picked a handful of sand and threw them to Max. "I'll tell your mom you pushed me, you'll be in so much trouble."   
  
Max, not bothered by the dirt on her curly hair, stared at Brandon who was already back on his feet. "I don't have a mom."   
  
"What? Then I'll tell your dad! Yeah, I'll tell your dad. He'll get his belt and give you a good whipping." Brandon said threateningly, thinking of those days when his dad would get mad at him.   
  
"They're both dead." Max said blankly.   
  
All the kids cried out with pity, except for Brandon who laughed hysterically. "Ha ha ha!!! What are you, an orphan? Oh..... I'll tell the police you pushed me. They're gonna take you away and put you to jail." Then for added drama, Brandon said in an exaggerated whisper, "And you'll live with rats and you'll live all alone forever. No one there but you!" He paused to let his imagination work, then quickly continued, "They won't give you food and you'll starve. That's why your parents died you know, coz they don't love you, coz you're a BAD kid."   
  
Max stared ahead, no longer able to mask her pain. Brandon stopped talking, realizing that he shouldn't have said what he did. "I'm sorry."   
  
"You're right." Max turned back and started walking away.   
  
Logan was sitting in his car and listening to the radio when he saw Max coming. He assumed that she had finished playing so he started the engine. To his surprise, Max walked pass his car and started running away.   
  
He hurriedly got out to catch Max. "Hey Max! Where are you going?"   
  
Max continued running so Logan run after her, she was pretty fast for a little kid.   
  
"Max wait, what's going on?" Logan grabbed Max's waist and swung her around to face him.   
  
"Go away!" As much as she tried, Max couldn't keep her tears from falling anymore.   
  
"Hey, why are you crying?" Logan kneeled down, already thinking retribution to whoever made Max cry.   
  
Max started kicking and hitting Logan but he tightened his grip around her until she stopped, soothing her with "it's-OK-it's-OK".   
  
Between sobs, Max managed to say, "Brandon was right, they died because I was bad, ((sob)), they don't love me, ((sob)), nobody does ((sob))."   
  
Logan cradled Max's head and forced her to look at him. "You know that's not true Max. Your parent's love you, and my mom, and my dad..."   
  
"Stop! Don't lie to me!" She snapped, more angry now than hurt.   
  
"...and me." He smiled as pulled up the bottom part of his shirt to dry Max's tears.   
  
"No you don't!" Max shoved Logan's hand as soon as her face was dry. "You're always teasing me"   
  
"That doesn't mean I don't love you." He said as he gave her a big kiss on the cheek.   
  
~~~END OF FLASHBACK~~~   
  
But Logan would be what he always was. No matter how hard Max tried to hate him or ignore him or not care about him, he would always have a special part in her heart. If not in the heart of the woman she'd become then in the one of the child that she was.   
  
She adored Logan, and he broke her young trusting heart. Not anymore, Logan would never hurt her again; she would never let him.   
  
Max smiled, not only because Logan's presentation was finished but because she knew exactly what it was she needed to do.   
  
Max needed to forgive Logan so she could heal herself. 


	7. Part 6: Theatrical Kiss

A/N: Thank you Laura for beta-ing this for me :) Shadow deserves credit for an idea ;) in this part. Hugs to all who leave me feedback :)  
  
  
Part 6   
  
It was the annual "Word on the Street" festival, a tradition started  
in '03 to promote books and literacy. Definitely a much needed event for the  
fast growing technologically adept but literature illiterate society. So  
everyone in the print industry, from newspapers to books and publishing, had  
come together to celebrate there chosen fields.   
  
The leaves had already changed colors and the clouds were gray, threatening to  
deposit the life nurturing substance of earth. There was a cool breeze too, a  
reminder that fall had arrived and was there to stay. Makeshift tents, food  
stands and kiddy rides occupied the bohemian section of downtown Seattle. It was  
a pretty sight, but not as pretty as the lady coming toward Logan. She had dark  
straight hair, a seldom departure from her usual curly locks, and the wind  
opened her jacket up, revealing a military style tank top over a pair of capri  
pants. Max never failed to take Logan's breath away, even if it only lasted the  
few seconds when he wasn't conscious of it yet. After that, he just resolved not  
to acknowledge it.   
  
Logan checked his watch and confirmed that it was indeed 10 o'clock. Max was an  
hour late.   
  
"Hey Logan!" Max placed her backpack on the chair next to Logan and  
checked out Biotech's table, which was already set with flyers, journals and  
giveaways.   
  
Logan gave her a questioning look as he crossed his arm.   
  
"What?" She asked innocently as she made herself comfortable.   
  
"You are late."   
  
Max looked at the time, "Am I? Oh I'm sorry, I didn't realize it was  
already ten." She sighed. "Too bad you had to do *all* these work by  
yourself."   
  
"I have a feeling you know exactly what time it is." Logan clearly saw  
through the sarcasm underneath the apology.   
  
Max shrugged and leaned closer to Logan to grab a muffin; strands of her hair  
floated and reached his lips. "You don't mind, do you?" She was  
referring to the muffin she was munching on and not her tardiness.   
  
Logan said nothing; Max's close proximity was starting to get both bothersome  
and delightful. So, of course he didn't mind, but for fun, he decided that he  
would have Max make it up to him later.   
  
"Remind me again why I'm here?" Max couldn't believe she let Logan  
talk her into watching the booth with him. The whole forgiveness thing was  
starting to annoy her. It had already cost her a day's out with her friends.   
  
"Because, it's a good thing to do. Besides, everyone in the media will be  
here. Reporters, editors, even those giant moguls who own half the newspapers in  
this continent." Logan wasn't sure when exactly he lost Max but at that  
moment, she definitely wasn't paying attention to him. "Max!? Max!? Hey,  
are you listening?"   
  
"Yeah yeah, be nice to the press, united front, blah blah blah." She  
said with slight irritation as her eyes surveyed an elderly woman several tents  
away. "Now shush!"   
  
Logan followed Max's line of vision and his eyes landed on none other than his  
mother's best friend, Mrs. Moreno. Since his mother passed away, Mrs. Moreno had  
taken it upon herself to get Logan a charming, educated like-one-of-her-nieces  
kind of wife. Her recent bad health and her son's upcoming nuptials were the  
only reasons why she was on (a promised short) hiatus.   
  
"Oh no!" Logan said in unison with Max's squeal of recognition,  
"It's Mrs. Moreno!"   
  
The two looked at each other puzzled.   
  
"Why are you so grumpy?"   
"Why are you so excited?"   
  
Max covered Logan's mouth. "Stop talking at the same time as me!" She  
took her hand back quickly because Logan's scruffy beard was sending her nerves  
firing in directions where it shouldn't, not that it wasn't pleasurable or  
anything. "What's wrong with you? It's Mrs. Moreno! You know, the lady who  
fed us chocolate cake and cookies when your mom wasn't looking!"   
  
Logan got a piece of flyer to cover his face and whispered to Max, "I don't  
want her to see me, I'll explain later!" He then slipped off his seat to  
make a run.   
  
Before Max knew it, Logan had already turned around without a word of  
explanation. Just an inch out of reach, Max half squatted and grabbed Logan's  
navy blue sweater, depositing him back to his seat. But her momentum was off and  
the stool Logan was seating on was not sturdy enough so he fell with the back of  
his head on the floor. Max followed, straddling Logan, with her face hovering a  
few inches off his and her hand still clutching the fabric of his sweater.   
  
"What are you doing!?"   
"What did you grab me for!?"   
  
"Grab you!? I was trying to get some senses out of you?!"   
"Isn't it obvious, I'm trying to hide from Mrs. Moreno!"   
  
Max lifted herself off Logan by putting some weight on the arm that was resting  
across his chest.   
  
"Help me up!" She growled, exasperated that Logan was making a hobby  
of talking at the same time as her. Of course, her knees felt wobbly from the  
fall, and not from the fact that she was very well aware of Logan's presence in  
between her legs.   
  
Logan, on the other hand, felt very content where he was. He figured he must be  
experiencing early signs of head concussion because the whole world just  
disappeared, leaving only Max to gaze upon, her weight on top of him the only  
thing to feel. Her beautiful face and big brown eyes looking down on him with.a  
very mad expression! Reality hit Logan hard, or more precisely, Max was hitting  
Logan hard.   
  
Max slapped Logan again, this time she was getting very worried. He had a dazed  
look and Max couldn't get him to respond. Out of fright, she hastily got herself  
kneeling beside him, checking for pulse and praying that he hadn't gone into  
shock.   
  
"Hey!" Logan took Max's wrist to save himself from another hit.  
Getting up, he motioned to the crowd who was starting to take notice of the  
commotion under the table. "You wouldn't want to have a lot of witnesses,  
bad for your defense attorney." he teased.   
  
Max stood up, appalled at Logan. The nerve of him, there she was trying to make  
sure he was ok and he insinuated physical abuse! She couldn't believe it!   
  
Logan realized that Max didn't get his pathetic attempt of a joke, "Easy  
Max, I was just joking!"   
  
"The hell you were!"   
  
"I was, I'm sorry." Logan tried hiding the smile that was slowly  
creeping up his lips.   
  
"Hmp! Whatever Logan, I'm gonna go talk to Mrs. Moreno!"   
  
Mrs. Moreno's son heard Max scream his mother's name so he informed her that  
Logan Cale and Max Guevara of Biotech Publishing were just a few meters away.  
Between Logan's attempted escape and Max's outburst, it was time enough for Mrs.  
Moreno to walk from her son's newspaper tent toward the two.   
  
"Maxie!" Max turned around and spotted the elderly lady walking with  
her cane.   
  
"Mrs. Moreno!" Max closed the gap and gave her a warm hug.   
  
"Junior." Reluctantly and with a fake smile, Logan too gave her a hug.  
  
  
"I see you two are already bickering like an old married couple!"  
Genuine happiness was evident in her eyes. "So, when is the wedding?"  
  
  
"What wedding?" Max lead Mrs. Moreno to a chair and offered her a  
bottled water.   
  
Logan, sensing where the inquisition was going, immediately jumped in;  
"Your son's wedding is in a couple of months. Sorry, I haven't had a chance  
to mail in the RSVP, I was meaning to do it before the deadline next week."  
Great! Now Logan had to go through his recycling box to find the invitation, he  
hoped it wasn't shredded yet.   
  
Mrs. Moreno gave a motherly laugh, as if dismissing a silly comment a child had  
made, "No Junior, I was talking about yours and Maxie's!"   
  
When Mrs. Moreno refused the drink Max offered, she had some herself. Bad idea  
considering she about choked to death at the elderly woman's suggestion. What?!  
She and Logan married? Mrs. Moreno must had forgotten to take whatever pills she  
needed for whatever mental condition she had, she was obviously delusion!   
  
((Coughs)) "Mine and Logan's?"   
  
Logan stroked Max's back to help her breath, he just had the best solution to  
put a stop on Mrs. Moreno's match making attempts.   
  
"We haven't set a date yet." Logan responded thoughtfully. "We  
were thinking that a fall wedding will be nice though."   
  
Max agreed, "Yeah, we haven't..What!?" She glared at Logan who was  
still behind her, stroking her back.   
  
Logan smiled at her sweetly, like a lover content to just hold the one he adored  
without anything in return, how much of this was acting was better left unknown.  
Addressing Mrs. Moreno, he said, "Max wants it to be sooner than next fall.  
Who knows, maybe you'll get an invitation by Christmas!"   
  
For the love of God, Max couldn't figure out what had gotten into Logan! She  
turned to face him completely, whispering she said, "Are you fucking  
insane.."   
  
The words drowned in Max's mouth as Logan pulled her closer to him for a kiss.  
Max was stunned, not because Logan was kissing her but because she was kissing  
him back. Several seconds later, Logan released her lips but Max was too  
intoxicated to say anything, especially not all the obscenities running through  
her head.   
  
Mrs. Moreno was very pleased; her life's work was complete. "I tell you, I  
had always told Logan's mother that you two will end up together." Eyeing  
Max who, in covert panic, quickly turned away from Logan, the elderly lady  
continued, "When your uncle took you, I honestly lost hope, and I thought  
that Logan did too. Obviously he didn't. And he was right not to, look at  
you." Mrs. Moreno cupped Max's face, observing how the young woman had  
changed in the fifteen years since she last saw her. "Maxie, all grown up  
and so pretty."   
  
Max was completely lost.   
  
Mrs. Moreno's smile widened, "Oh Junior didn't tell you?" Mrs. Moreno laughed  
slyly. "You just snatched Seattle's most handsome bachelor! I tell you, I was  
setting him up with every single woman I know, mostly my nieces and their  
friends. But now and then I'd get calls from people asking me for a date with  
Logan. I've quite made a reputation as the old lady who screens his potential  
date ((laughs))!"   
  
Looking at Logan, Mrs. Moreno said affectionately, "I know you didn't like  
what I was doing ((laughs)) but you went out with the women anyway to please  
me."   
  
Then back to Max, who was starting to catch on to Logan's scheme, "I should  
have known he'd wait for you. Oh, Logan's mother would have been so happy. How I  
miss her much, God rest her soul. That was all she ever wanted, you know, for  
you two to find each other again and be happy.". Wiping some tears with  
shaky hands, "And it looks like you both are."   
  
Max stepped closer to Mrs. Moreno and held her, she couldn't very well break the  
elderly lady's heart and tell her that there was no engagement. She had no other  
option but to play along.   
  
"We are." Max said with sincerity, then to lighten up the mood, she  
teased, " Logan is no knight saving a damsel in distress, but what the  
heck, I'll put up with him." She entwined her fingers with Logan's and gave  
a wink confirming the secret about men that all women shared, much to Mrs.  
Moreno's amusement.   
  
Logan was dumbfounded at Max's show of affection AND cooperation, nonetheless,  
he managed a smile and a kiss on the top of her head.   
  
"You must tell me how you've been Maxie. Time must be playing tricks with  
my mind. I still can't believe how grown up you are. I still remember those days  
when Logan would bring you up to the house. Remember Junior? Maxie would be on  
your back and she wouldn't let go until you promised to play with her."   
  
"Yeah and when I did let go, he'd run and hide in the attic, to call his  
girlfriend no less!" Max playfully hit Logan's side with his own hand,  
which was still laced with hers.   
  
Logan smiled at the recollection and like the two women, he too was soon drawn  
in the reminiscent mood that wrapped and trapped then away from the real word.   
  
Logan pulled a seat, and since Mrs. Moreno was occupying the other, he encircled  
Max's waist with one arm and pulled her down on his lap, cradling her. Max  
continued on relaying a story to Mrs. Moreno and didn't seem aware of what Logan  
had just done.   
  
Laughing, Max confessed. "It really was me! Logan just took the  
blame." Defending herself, she added, " I honestly thought that the  
little gold fish was hungry."   
  
Mrs. Moreno swallowed a chuckle, "What about that time when you decided to  
give those roses a swim? That almost sent Logan's mother to the hospital, I  
thought she would have a heart attack!"   
  
Max recalled filling the rose garden with the content of her blow-it-yourself  
swimming pool. Amused at her silliness, she explained, "I did not decide to  
give them a swim, it was a hot day, I thought they could use some water."  
She shifted her weight and moved closer to Logan, the poor guy, half his leg  
must had already been asleep.   
  
"Junior, whatever did your mother do to that garden? I remember for the rest  
of the season, she refused to grow any more roses."   
  
Both Max and Mrs. Moreno looked at Logan when he didn't reply. He seemed to be  
thinking deeply about something, or someone. Max knew the woman who was in  
Logan's mind; she too loved her, his mother. Max realized that it was still  
painful for Logan to talk about her and she understood him, talking about her  
own parents still got her choked up.   
  
With caressing fingers, Max touched Logan's face and urged him to look at her.  
He did. She smiled. He smiled back. And for a split second the universe stopped  
to cherish what just passed. "Mrs. Moreno was asking you something."   
  
"Oh, mom planted lilies instead and she had me guard Max 24/7 from then  
on." He said gaining back his good-natured humor.   
  
Mrs. Moreno thought of another story so the pair listened to her, enchanted.   
  
Max felt Logan pull her hand up for a kiss then he laid it back again on his  
other leg. It felt like he had done it a million times. It was so natural for  
them to be like this, so easy, so effortless. Then why was it so hard before?  
Was it because she was finally ready to forgive him? Hmm, the whole forgiveness  
thing wasn't so bad then, she liked it.   
  
Logan felt Max rest her head on his. She really had surprised him the past few  
days. She was happier, more at peace. She was still Max though, only with less  
sharper edges. He didn't know what brought about the change but he was glad of  
it anyway because it looked like they had a chance to be friends again. Logan  
wouldn't mind at all if he and Max had another of this rare intimate moment.   
  
The present came rushing as all five of Mrs. Moreno's grandchildren came to  
fetch her. "Granny, come take us to Big Bird, he's reading the kids a  
story!" One of them tugged on her dress impatiently while the others run  
around in circles around the three adults.   
  
Suddenly sobered from the effects of reminiscing, Mrs. Moreno took her cane as  
Logan helped her up. "I will have to set a dinner so you two can come  
over."   
  
"We'd love that." Max kissed her on the cheek.   
  
Taking her grandchildren, she announced. "Alright, you little rugrats,  
we're off to Big Bird." Mrs. Moreno waved goodbye to Max and Logan and  
headed to the Sesame Street booth. A few steps away, she added, "By the  
way, I'll get my son's wedding planner to give you two a call! He is  
fabulous."   
  
In an instant, as if Mrs. Moreno took away with her all the comfort and ease,  
awkwardness replaced Max and Logan's earlier haven.   
  
Max was first to recover by acting in the only way she knew best. She resumed  
her position in the booth, taking another mouthful of muffin as she sat. With as  
much sarcasm, though she didn't try much since it came naturally to her, Max  
made Logan feel like a little boy who got a star for cheating on a test,  
"Nice going Logan! I hope she never finds out how you, I mean we, lied to  
her, she'd be devastated!"   
  
Logan felt sad, mostly from lying, but also from the lost of contact with Max's  
warm, soft self. Seating again beside her, he rolled a journal and whacked his  
head with it. "How was I supposed to know she'd rant on about my  
mother." He whacked himself again.   
  
Max took the journal from Logan, he had already hit his head enough for one day.  
Not that she cared; she just wasn't in the mood to drive anyone to the hospital  
for self-induced bodily harm. "So, you get rid of one problem by creating  
another, this time you got *me* involved. Brilliant Logan! Just pure  
genius!"   
  
"Sorry Max, I wasn't thinking properly." Logan rested his arms on his  
knees and rubbed his knuckles.   
  
"Obviously!" Max put the rolled journal away from her, otherwise,  
*she* would induce the harm to Logan. It wasn't funny how bickering came to them  
as naturally as cuddling did.   
  
After a couple of minutes of reflection, Logan laughed, "Well, it could be  
a long engagement. Or at least until she passes away?"   
  
Max rolled her eyes, "That is just sick."   
  
Getting a little uncomfortable again, Logan forced himself to talk, "About  
what happened."   
  
"Don't worry about it, it's forgotten." Max replied without looking at  
Logan.   
  
He tried explaining, "I was just, you know, trying to play the doting  
fiancé so she'd stop setting me up on those blind dates. " Who was he  
kidding? Max or himself?   
  
Max nodded, "Me too, just playing a role. Next time give me some warnings,  
would you, so I can brush up on my theatrical skills." She, on the other  
hand, was surely kidding herself.   
  
"So we're ok? It was all just acting?" [Great Logan, brush her off,  
what a gentleman you'd become.]   
  
"Of course, what else could it be?" Max hoped that Logan wouldn't take  
her comment as a challenge.   
  
"You're right! Thanks for backing me up." Logan was grateful that Max  
wasn't giving him much grief.   
  
Max figured there was no point getting mad at Logan for entangling her in his  
mess, she LET him didn't she? She let him touch her and kiss her and even if it  
was just pretend, she let him love her.   
  
"No big dealio." It really was no big deal, she convinced herself,  
after all, it was done for Mrs. Moreno's sake. Besides, she got a little  
something out of it; for the first time in years, she felt nice, warm and safe.  
  
  
"Well, I'm glad we talked about it." Then why did he feel like they  
hadn't at all? Like there was so much more he wanted to say, mostly words that  
would erase everything they just said from the moment Mrs. Moreno left.   
  
"Yeah, me too." Max checked the time, 10:45 am. It was going to be a  
very long day.  
  
~~~  
  
A/N: Please do me favor and leave a review :) Constructive criticisms are always nice. 


	8. Part 7: Belonging

A/N: Thank you for being so patient with me. I'm sorry this part took a long time, it was just that after re-reading it, I wasn't completely happy with how it turned out. I'm not sure if I am now, but I didn't want to keep you all waiting too long. Besides, the last few reviews made me feel really guilty for not posting soon. Anyway, here's part 7 and please leave me a note telling me what you think. : )   
  
  
A/N: For the flashback scene: I hope this works. *dialogue* means that young Max is saying the same thing as Max and young Logan is saying the same thing as Logan. So when you're reading the flashback, imagine their young selves doing the actions but imagine their adult selves saying the words too.  
  
**Part 7**  
  
Max finally found the time to decorate her office. Her desk occupied the northern side of the room with the French balcony behind her and a lake view of Seattle. On the right wall were stacks of books and CD-ROMs, mostly scientific dictionaries and references to help her understand the submissions she had to read. On the left wall were framed pictures of her motorcycle, a poem she liked as a child and a picture of *Crash*, a favorite hangout amongst her friends. And due to Kendra's influence, she had round mirrors, scented candles, bonsai plants, and lighted miniature fountains at special places. Her best friend was obsessed with feng shui, among other things.   
  
Max's door opened and Logan confidently walked in, preoccupied with someone at the other end of the phone. He had always seemed conscious about her personal space and more often than not, he chose not to invade it. But since their unexpected encounter with Mrs. Moreno, the man just felt like he could come and go as he pleased! So, she gave up and stopped bothering him to knock before he came in, as smart as he was, he just couldn't grasp the idea. Max shook her head. She had to confess, it was the fact that she never knocked either that made Logan feel he could do the same.   
  
So there he was, wiggling his cute little bum to find the perfect spot on one of her designer chairs (in abstract geometrical shapes and colors), without a mere acknowledgment of her existence. Max loudly tapped her fingers on her desk as soon as Logan finished his phone conversation.   
  
"Oh, Hey." was all he said and he buried himself again with work, this time setting up his laptop for another long search on the net.   
  
"Hey." Max responded. She noticed how Logan was becoming a regular in her office, he'd drop by just to say 'hey' followed by, well nothing, Logan liked working in silence. Anyway, his presence for a few hours each day was becoming so familiar, Max actually missed him if he didn't stop by because of some prior engagement or another. Of course she didn't see it as missing him, only as an inconvenience because he was hard to track down at times. When he was there, all she had to do was yell across the room if she needed to ask him something. This hardly happened though since she already secured her reign in three of their journals, but who was counting?   
  
But then there was THE chair. It was round and padded with a comfortable back, she got it from Sweden and it cost her a fortune. Logan was showing signs of attachment to it, which made her doubt if he kept on coming back because she was there or because he liked the chair so much. Or maybe it was the view? She did have a really nice lake view and Logan did love spending time near the water. Right! So there, she decided, Logan came for the view. Now, if only she could let her ego in on the news!   
  
Max examined Logan for a few seconds; he really was a good-looking man. She knew from experience how easy it was to get lost in that intent expressive blue eyes. His lips weren't bad either. Recalling how they felt on hers, she would even admit that they were sufficiently good for their purposes. She suddenly had the urge to reach out to his face and touch it, remembering how his stubble sent her insides firing in the most delightful way. Instantly, she scolded herself. Oh it must be that time of the month, yeah it was, that explained why she was even considering Logan in that context. Please!   
  
Logan felt a pair of radiant brown eyes watching him so he looked up at Max to question her. He saw her quickly shift her gaze, pretending to be looking somewhere else.   
  
"Max, what are you doing this week-end?" He figured to ask her a favor when her defenses were down.   
  
Max sighed, aware that she wasn't successful at fooling Logan into thinking that she wasn't checking him out. "Would a negative answer commit me into spending a whole day doing some charity work for one of your noble causes?"   
  
Logan wondered if Max was subtly making fun of his devotion to charity, he would have confronted her about it but it wasn't charity he wanted. "Actually, no. It's sort of more personal."   
  
"Oh well, either case, I'm busy." Max was about to leave to go to the washroom when she saw Logan's disappointed, almost hurt, reaction.   
  
Slumping back on her chair and not quite believing she fell for THE look, she dreadfully asked. "Aiight Logan, what do you want?"   
  
Women were suckers for the look he just produced, that was why he mastered it at the earliest age he could. "Well, I was going to drive up and bring some flowers to where mom is buried. I thought maybe you'd want to tag along."   
  
Max almost regretted her earlier hostility, almost. Logan should have said it was about his mom in the first place, of course she would want to go. "Sure, no problem, I think I can rearrange my plans."   
  
***   
  
It was a two-hour drive up to the cemetery and after fifteen minutes of blissful silence on Max's part, she got bored out of her mind. Yes, the trees with all the pretty colors were nice to look at, they even saw a deer crossing the street at 200 km/h, but being cramped inside the vehicle with Logan was getting her edgy. She forced herself not to berate at him since this trip was supposed to be a solemn experience for them both. But, unsurprisingly since patience was not one of her virtues, her success wasn't for long. Then again guess whose fault that was? Waiting for Logan all those years consumed the very little patience the high almighty did give her, god help her!   
  
"Logan, talk to me." Max ordered, half whining.   
  
Logan looked at her through the mirror, smiling. "Ok, Max, what do you want to talk about?"   
  
"I don't know" she shrugged, looking pitiful.   
  
"Why don't you listen to some music?" He suggested as he opened his CD compartment to let Max choose from his collection of Classics.   
  
Max whined even more, "If you had CDs other than the ones you have, maybe I would."   
  
"What's wrong with my CDs?" He checked them out himself and wondered who wouldn't want to listen to Beethoven. Well, Max apparently.   
  
"Nothing if I was a 60 year old grandma." Max saw the knot between Logan's eyebrows and laughed. "I know, let's play that game!"   
  
"What game?" Great, he was back again with the annoying 6-year-old Max whose vocabulary consisted of 'Let's play a game' and 'Make me something to eat'. He shook his head, that was mean, she really was a bright fun kid when she wasn't being a pain in the ass.   
  
"You know, the 'Why' game." Max loved that game, considering she made it up herself. At first she played it to bug Logan but eventually she started enjoying it because Logan was so smart, he had an answer for every question she had! Although years of going to school made her realize that half the stuff he was telling her was made up. The punk!   
  
Logan thought back a few days when he decided to ask Max to come, what in the world was he thinking?!?   
  
***   
  
Max and Logan stood side by side in front of his mother's grave. A bouquet of lilies and roses laid on the marble stone which had her name engraved. 'Wife, Mother and Friend' it said in bold italic fonts, three words that defined what her life had been, the essence of what she was all about.   
  
Logan never imagined how hard life would be without his mother and thinking about Max losing her own at such a young age gripped his heart. He really wasn't going to invite Max to come and to have her face childhood loses that were surely upsetting. But somewhere in the primitive part of his brain he wanted her to be there. Logan met Max's hand when it reached for his and as the two of them touched, he felt her supportive squeeze. At that point, it dawned on Logan why he wanted Max with him and everything finally made sense.   
  
Logan had Max back. She was there, and she was his; to care for, to cherish, to need. He too was there, and he was hers; to care for, to cherish, to need. And in that moment, they needed each other to deal with the most tragic lost they would ever encounter. Each other's presence was an insurance of something stable and safe in the uncertain world they found themselves in. And despite all that happened it'll be the two of them, together, that would have to face whatever circumstance fate decided to throw at them.  
  
Max prayed a silent thank you to the woman who had become a mother figure to her after she lost her parents in that skiing accident almost sixteen years ago. She was such a loving woman, doting on Max, cherishing the daughter she never had. Max sensed an overwhelming lost with tears threatening to fall so she instinctively stepped closer to Logan for strength. His mother was actually buried beneath them, all that she was; her humor, her vision, her love, all gone in the ashes and back to the ground where it began. Max never got to say goodbye and was glad that Logan brought her so she finally could.   
  
Collecting herself and letting go of Logan, Max asked, "Why did Mama want to be buried here?"   
  
"She hated the hospital and insisted that she stay up at the cabin. She loved that place so much so I guess it sort of made sense to have her resting place close to it." Logan run his fingers through his hair, a mannerism he displayed whenever his emotions were running faster than his cognition.   
  
"Do you go up there a lot when you visit her?" Max recognized the outward sign of Logan's distress so she steered the conversation away from his mother.   
  
"No, I don't like going there by myself, I'd just end up self-brooding and wasted." Logan recalled the first and only time he stayed in the cabin since his mother's death, he must had consumed a dozen bottle's of beer.   
  
"Well you're not by yourself now." Again, Max tried being supportive but was aware that there probably was a deeper meaning to her words if one probed hard enough.   
  
"No I'm not." Or so Logan hoped.   
  
"I haven't been there forever, I'd love to see it again." Just a pure simple request with no hidden messages to decipher.   
  
"Alright." Logan replied somberly but was pleased that Max had asked.   
  
***  
  
Logan entered the cabin with groceries in both hands. It was so dark inside so he put the groceries down to search for the light switch, avoiding anything that would potentially break his neck if he tripped. Adjusting to the light, Logan saw Max sprawled on the couch, sleeping on her side. She used her arm as a pillow and a finger as a bookmark. From her position, Logan concluded that she had been reading but fell asleep while doing so.   
  
Logan couldn't help but admire the sight in front of him. Max really had grown to be a beautiful woman. The shirt she was wearing, which was his by the way, conveniently hugged all her curves to display perfection in his eyes. Using the quilt that laid on the armrest of the couch, he kneeled on the floor beside her and tucked her in.   
He brushed a few strands of hair away from Max's face as he absorbed everything about her.   
  
Max looked so peaceful, Logan thought. At least in her sleep she wasn't carrying the weight of the world. Oh Max could hide it well beneath that bitchy attitude of hers, but Logan knew better. Every time he searched the depth of her eyes to find out what she was hiding from the world, he would see a glimpse of the pain. Fifteen years of accumulated grief had toughed her up but left her a cynic unable to trust. And she, along with everyone else who wanted to love her, were suffering as a consequence it.   
  
Reflecting back, Logan would admit that he was part of the reason why Max was an emotional mess. What he did so many years ago was for her own good. He knew that there was no point second-guessing him but how could he not? The ache he'd seen had revealed that the last fifteen years hadn't exactly been a happy time for her. Drowning in his guilt, Logan closed his eyes as he apologized for whatever he might had done in adding to her pain.   
  
After a long time of studying Max, Logan leaned down to plant a chaste kiss on the top of Max's brow. And in her sleep, symbolized by this gesture, he promised her that he would never again let himself be absent from her life. Fifteen years was long enough and whether Max liked it or not, he would from that moment on, be a constant presence waiting for her to open up and accept his friendship once again. That from then on, he would make sure nothing and no one ever hurt her again. And most importantly, he promised that he would, one by one, pick each torn that bruised her heart. He just wished she would allow him close enough so he could do so.   
  
***   
  
Max woke up to the scent of sizzling chicken. She searched for the source of the smell and found the outside of the cabin illuminated by campfire. A smile tugged on her lips as she saw Logan through the window with a perfect silhouette of his form against the backdrop of the reddish orange fire. She noticed that a warm quilt was lying on top of her still sleepy body. She tugged the hem up and completely covered herself until she could no longer resist the delicious smell that was so tempting to her hungry stomach. Groaning, she pulled the quilt over her shoulders and went outside.   
  
Opening the door, a sweet cold breeze greeted Max. She pulled the covers tighter around her and reminded herself to thank Logan for his show of concern. She saw him seated on a log that spanned a good five feet. He was eating from a bowl as he absentmindedly gazed at the stars above him.   
  
Logan was amazed at how much heavenly bodies were visible to the naked eyes without the pollution and lights of the city. Being an avid reader, he correctly identified each constellation, planet and galaxy. A sense of wonder surged through him as he realized how insignificant he was in the realm of the entire universe, yet somehow it was that same vast universe that insisted on making him feel important.   
  
*Logan, 'why' are you looking up at the stars? * Max asked in a child like voice, mimicking how she had asked the same question so many years before.   
  
  
~~~Flashback~~~   
  
Logan turned around and saw Max covered with a blanket, she was so small that half of it was on the floor. Dragging leaves and dirt with her, she walked toward Logan with a content look courtesy of a good long nap.   
  
Logan winked at her and she gave him an I-know-you-love-me-so-bow-before-me look as both of them looked up again at the stars.   
  
Logan's smile widened, only Max could carry that look with such class that is non-existent in anyone less that twenty-five. *Because it's nice to look at, I suppose. * Max was smart but Logan didn't think she would comprehend yet the dynamics of life in an infinite time within an ever expanding universe. Heck, 'he' didn't either.   
  
Max enclosed Logan with her blanket as she gave him a hug. *It really is nice. * Logan returned her hug but she pulled away to continue with her game, *Logan, 'why' do the stars twinkle? *   
  
Logan swooped Max up to set her on his lap, with both her feet dangling at his side. *Because the stars are from a million miles away, so when the light bumps to other things up there, it bends and that's why you see them as if they're twinkling. *   
  
*No* Max said with a yawn. *They twinkle because...so I can sing 'twinkle twinkle little star'! The song wouldn't make sense if the real stars don't, you know*   
  
Logan did a double take on Max, she never ceased to entertain him, *Where did you come up with that? *   
  
She rested her head on his chest and picked up a piece of chicken from the bowl he was holding. *From my head. *   
  
~~~End of Flashback~~~   
  
  
Still facing Max whose smiling eyes were still locked with his as they collectively recalled a childhood so far away, Logan asked with a goofy grin, *Are you hungry, do you want some chicken? *   
  
"Sure." Max lost her childish tone but was still in a playful mood. She walked over the log and sat down beside Logan who was reaching inside the pan to fill her bowl with some chicken and rice.   
  
"Did you have a nice nap?" Logan, following Max's cue, stopped talking in the I'm-humoring-you voice that adults used while talking to children who weren't making any sense. He then handed Max her food and continued eating his own.   
  
"Yeah, I haven't had one of those in a while" Max eyes fluttered as she tasted Logan's Honey Chicken. God the man could cook!   
  
Max and Logan bathed in the comfort resulting from what just transpired between them. They ate in companionable silence as both relished the heavenly good meal fit for the night's setting. Except for a few trees that the light from the fire could reach, the two were surrounded by complete darkness. There was an eerie yet serene feel to it, to be so close to nature without the presumptions that came with living in a civilized world. Fire and darkness, cold and warmth, food and water, man and woman; that was all it was supposed to be before someone smartened up and made everything complicated.   
  
Max was mesmerized by the glowing fire in front of them and the dancing shadows it cast on the ground. Two shadows, hers and Logan's, dancing the eternal dance of light and dark. Max, seating so close to Logan their knees almost touched, could fell him take each breath. She looked at him longingly, missing the comfort he used to provide for her. She knew that things between them would never be the same. But sometimes, Max found it so hard not to remember a happy past, especially when her guards were down which was becoming increasingly often as Max spent more time with Logan. He had hurt her, that was the reality, but it just wouldn't erase the fact that he cared for her too, or at least she felt that he had.   
  
At times, like then, Max found herself yearning for the days when Logan would cradle her as he lulled her to sleep after waking up from a bad dream. 'Hush Maxie, I'm right here', he would say and those very words kept her hope as she waited for him to say them to her again. She yearned for the days when she would run to him to find solace in his embrace. She found in Logan the sense of belonging that disappeared when her parents died, the sense of belonging she had yet to feel again. Her friends had helped a lot, but it wasn't the same.   
  
Every tract in Max's mind screamed at her to ask him 'why'. Why did he never come? She wanted to yell at him and tell him that she waited, for the whole of fucking ten years she waited but the day she always pictured in her mind never materialized. She wanted to shake him and make him feel the agonizing pain she had because of him. But most of all, most of all she wanted him to wrap his arms around her and take it all away.   
  
"Logan..." The words came out without her will.   
  
"Yeah Maxie?" Logan blinked in surprise as the term of endearment slipped from his mouth.   
  
'Ask him why'. 'Ask him why'. But what was the point? Could she bear to hear the truth? Could she take it to finally hear what she expected all along, that he didn't come because he never wanted to? That she was a responsibility he didn't want to have? That the times they had were fun but after she left he was finally able to free himself from the bratty little girl who took up of too much of his attention? That he was glad she was gone so he had more time getting laid as all his friends had been instead of watching her play in the park or grudgingly playing with her himself?   
  
Or maybe it was his lie that she wouldn't be able to take. His apology for finding out that he brought her so much anguish. Would she even believe him if he said he wanted to come but couldn't? Probably not. She would know it was a lie because if he really wanted to he would have. He had fucking fifteen years to do it, for crying out loud!   
  
No, that was all in the past. The past and the future was separated by nothingness, isn't that what Sartre said? So whatever reasons or excuses that Logan had didn't matter anymore. She would forgive him either way. She would and it scared her how easy it would be to do it.   
  
"Oh, nothing. Just wanted to say thanks for dinner and the blanket." She smiled for half a second and turned her head to look at the fire again, realizing that she'd been staring at Logan for so long.   
  
Logan knew that it wasn't true, her unusually expressive face displayed some battle going on inside her head. It disappointed him that Max decided not to tell him what it was about. "You're welcome"   
  
"I better go back inside" She said still transfixed on her spot.   
  
Logan gently tilted Max's head to face him, resisting the temptation to trace the beautiful features she possessed. "Good night Maxie."   
  
Max, feeling the warmth intended as Logan said her name, stared into his eyes as they both understood the significance of Logan's choice of words. Responding to him would be an acceptance of a friendship they once had. So with a mixture of happiness and fear, Max said, "Good night Logan." 


	9. Part 8: Old Friends

A/N: Hi! I forgot to thank Laura for beta-ing part 7, so thanks Laura : ), oh yeah and Jaci too for subtly telling me how to spell jhondie, LOL. Thank you for the reviews and if you have any suggestions and stuff, please e-mail me at raydyan@yahoo.ca.  
  
**Part 8**  
  
Logan hated giving toasts, especially in front of hundreds of people. Nevertheless, he managed to take a deep breath as he emerged from the side of the elegantly decorated stage filled with silk drapes and flowers in the shade of blue. Cheers from the staff thundered inside The Royal York's pavilion, the venue where the yearly celebrations to commemorate the founding of Biotech Publishing was regularly held.  
  
Logan took the mike and nodded at a few colleagues who were chanting his name with the intent to embarrass him even more. With the unlimited supply of alcohol, this was what he got and he had a bad feeling that it was about to get worse.  
  
The crowd hushed as he began his speech. "Twenty five years ago, my father had a vision to create something that would encourage advancement in the field of scientific research. But most of all, he wanted to create a tool to inform the public of how science was progressing to change their lives. So with his best friend, Mr. Marlon Guevara, Biotech Publishing came to be and we all stand here today to honour the duty that we are privileged to have." Raising a glass of champagne, "Here's to us continuing to educate the public and providing a social context into scientific research." The crowd applauded in length, giving Logan enough time to cue in Max for her entrance.  
  
With elegance, Max retraced Logan's steps and posed herself beside him. Logan met her eyes and she smiled, reassuring him that he was doing a great job filing in his fathers shoes as the master of the ceremony. Max's black dress molded her body perfectly and revealed some cleavage that complimented Logan's black suit and earthy coloured tie. Together, the two of them created an image so precious that everyone in the room quieted down, as if the noise would spoil the rare sight presented to them. A picture. A captivating picture of youth, intelligence, power, beauty and something quite more that couldn't yet be defined.  
  
"Max would like to say a few words." Logan informed everyone as he handed over the mike and made room so Max could take center stage.  
  
"Hello." Several men responded with a whistle intended to compliment her. Max would have been offended if she wasn't in such a shock to see the usually sedated and stressed crew having a good time. She gave them her most charming smile and continued, "I just wanted to let you all know how much I appreciate everything you've done to make me feel welcomed. I know there's been a lot of changes with me coming in but you'd all been patient and cooperative. So, here's a big thank you for being so great at what you do." It was then her turn to raise her glass of champagne and everyone joined her in loud agreement.  
  
The music immediately followed Max's toast and everyone resumed their drinking bouts and chatters around the round tables with flowers on the center and half eaten meals on the side.   
  
Still on the stage with the mike off, Max teased. "That wasn't so bad."  
  
Logan, pretty pleased with himself, responded "Nah, it was alright."  
  
It was then or never, "I didn't see you come in with anyone."  
  
That was because Logan wasn't with anyone. "No, I didn't bring a date." He hoped Max wouldn't either but reality settled in soon enough. Indicating the blonde man standing near the steps with his hands in his pockets, Logan commented, "But you and him will definitely be the talk around the water cooler tomorrow."  
  
Max shrugged. Logan just confirmed her suspicions that he didn't have a girlfriend. Interesting. Filing that fact in her memory for later use, "Come on, let me introduce you to Zack."  
  
***  
  
Zack shook Logan's hand firmly when Max introduced the two men. "It's nice to meet you."   
  
"You too." Logan resisted the urge to ask the many questions that had been plaguing him the whole evening. Fortunately, his curiosity was satisfied when Max volunteered some information.  
  
"Zack and I know each other from school, he was in Greece doing some research at the university."  
  
When Max offered no more, Logan gave up and bluntly pried. Question number one. "Oh, so how did you two meet?"   
  
It was Zack who replied. "Max helped me out a little with the language barrier, but we don't like to talk about that."  
  
Max jumped in, starting to enjoy the subtle play of male ego she was witnessing. "No Zack, *you* don't like to talk about it. I, however, am very fond of the story."  
  
Not wanting to look like an idiot in front of the man he had already sized up as competition, Zack tried pulling Max away, "I'm sure Logan has better things to do than hear that story"  
  
"You're right." Max declared then turned from Zack to Logan. "Anyway, It was summer so I was by the beach, you know getting a tan, whatever. Anyway, I hear this American guy..."  
  
"Max, I really don't...." What was the point of arguing with her? Zack knew personally how determined Max could be. She always got her way, always. Did anyone think they would still just be friends if he had anything to say about it?  
  
As if not hearing Zack's protests, Max went on. "...confirming the directions to the bus station while the girl he was talking to was thinking that he just offered to have a one night stand with her. You know, your usual public solicitation of a minor."  
  
Logan chuckled, score 1 for him! Moving on to question number two. "So Zack, when are you going back to school then?" As in 'When are you going back to Greece-5000-miles-away-from-here?'. Logan couldn't wait to get rid of the guy, a few minutes with Zack ogling at Max was all his heart could take, thank you very much.  
  
"Actually I'm done my Ph.D. I'd be continuing my research with a private laboratory in Wyoming now." Wyoming, as in a few hours drive away from Seattle. And the score was tied!  
  
"Oh that reminds me, you have a message on the machine. Somebody called when you were taking a shower. I was all in a hurry so I forgot to tell you." Max wasn't sure yet who she was rooting for so she gave both Logan and Zack equal opportunities to outscore the other down.  
  
Zack was deviously content at Logan's shocked blink when Max insinuated that he was staying at her place. "Thanks Max, it's probably from the lab. I'll check it later when *we* get home." And Zack was leading by one!  
  
Max was about to help Logan gain another point when Sebastian politely interrupted them. Apparently, he and Logan had some EO business to discuss. Poor Sebastian, he had no idea what he just wheeled himself into.   
  
Logan, on the other hand, was quite relieved to leave the company of the man who he had grown to dislike. Another second there, he would have lost his cool. Zack was staying with Max?!? It was worse than he thought! But the reason he was even *thinking* about it in the first place bothered him more. Logan helped wheel Sebastian back to their table, but before settling in on one of the chairs, he sneaked a peek to where Max and Zack were standing. Finding that they weren't there anymore, he searched the expansive (and beautifully decorated) room and found the pair out on the terrace with their backs turned on him.   
  
Zack put an arm across Max's back to her waist and pulled her closer to him, very much aware that a certain someone was watching his every move. He then heard Max in her condescending tone, "Zack, play nice."  
  
With one arm resting on the rail, Zack faced Max with feigned innocent, "Whatever are you talking about Maxie?"  
  
Max bit her lower lip and gave Zack the evil eyes, but even that didn't keep her from bursting out laughing. "Zack, you haven't changed at all have you?" She shook her head. "I really missed you. When you aren't in your task-oriented mode, you're actually a lot of fun."  
  
Zack smiled. "So that's the infamous Logan Cale."  
  
Max nodded and took one step away from Zack. As much as she was having fun with Logan that night, she didn't want to give him the wrong idea. Why she was even deceiving Logan for laughs and giving thoughts about Logan's view concerning her personal relationship were just beyond her. She probably just missed teasing him that's all. "Yup that's him."  
  
Interpreting Max's signal that their game was over, and he had won mind you, Zack's expression changed to its usual pensive state. "How are you holding up?"  
  
Zack was one of the few people who knew about Max's history with Logan. Not everything about him of course, but enough to realize that his absence caused her a lot of pain. Max was one of the few Americans in campus who spoke Greek fluently so Zack spent a lot of time with her learning the language. They were having coffee one afternoon when Max slipped and mentioned Logan's name. She refused to say anything more about it but Zack persevered. During the course of the year, he tried to find out more about Logan but only to have a melancholic Max brush him off.   
  
Then one day on their way to Milos for an expedition, Max said out of the blue, 'He was someone I trusted very much. But I was six years old then, I didn't know any better.'   
  
Zack finally learned about Logan during a handful of sporadic moments like those. At first he would wait for her to elaborate but she always kept it brief, walking away after her little revelation or simply bringing up another subject. Zack tried to look for the pattern in the stimuli that would trigger a memory of Logan but he never came up with any. The only constant thing though was the reminiscent look on Max's face. A look of painfully recollecting something wonderful that she hated to treasure but do so nonetheless.  
  
"I've been here for more than two months Zack. I'm dealing with it just fine. Don't worry about me." It was thoughtful of Zack to care but that wasn't a surprise.   
  
"How can I not Max?" Zack reached up and tucked a lock of hair behind Max's ears. They had known each other for more than three years, long enough to build a genuine friendship that they both valued. Zack knew that Max cared for him deeply, though not in the way that he wanted to. And the very reason for that being the man sitting at the other end of the room. He had never backed down before, especially not with the people he loved, so he was not about to hand Max over generously. If Logan wanted Max, he would have to fight him for her.  
  
"C'mon, let's not get into this. Tell me about Wyoming." Max grabbed a pate from one of the servers and munched on it.  
  
"I see you haven't lost your healthy appetite." Zack received a bite-me glare so he backed off with a mischievous grin. "Well, it's a genetic laboratory doing research on DNA splicing. They thought that my work on predicting the interaction between the allele from each gene locus would help them to be more accurate at controlling the phenotype."  
  
"So pretty much your standard I-wanna-play-god kinda work." Max rubbed her hands together. She was getting a bit chilly being out in the open air.  
  
"Yeah, pretty much. You cold? Do you want to go back inside?" Zack looked in the room and was caught off guard when he saw that Logan was still examining him. He forgot about Logan for a moment there. "Tell Logan that it's not polite to stare."  
  
"What?" Max's line of vision followed Zack's and she saw Logan quickly turning to Sebastian at the last attempt to save face. "Oh, you're still under the guard dog watch are you? He's just curious, don't mind him. Besides, I think you're enjoying this just as much as I am."  
  
"Wanna give the guy a show? I bet that we're getting pretty dull here to watch." He raised an eyebrow suggestively.  
  
"We are, aren't we? Aiight, how about a dance?" Max suggested before Zack voiced out his own idea.  
  
"Not exactly what I was thinking of but since the lady asked nicely." He then lead Max to the dance floor.  
  
Logan had spent the last fifteen minutes analyzing each of Zack's moves, much to Sebastian's dismay. He had never seen his friend so distracted, especially not when talking about EO. It was actually called Eyes Only, a tribute to an inside joke between their crew in high school. If they 'only' let their 'eyes' do the reading, there wouldn't be any proof that they were hacking into the school's terminals and getting access to confidential materials like, say, the Psych evaluations of their teachers. To that day, he could honestly say from experience that to think your teachers were demented was one thing, to have it proven was another.   
  
Logan was actually the leading perpetrator of it all so it was a big shock for everyone when he started working for Biotech because it was so science based and had nothing to do with computers. Little did people know that Logan joined his father's company so he could start publishing EO, a journal that critiqued the implications of controversial experiments. After learning his way around, Logan then slowly steered beyond science and went into other areas that had been too stagnant in it's ways and values. Since then, his investigative reporting skills had been put to use, not to mention the collective expertise of his friends to hack into virtually any computer that had a modem. His little project is not without consequences though. Logan knew that EO was getting a bad reputation in several political circles and was raising a few eyebrows around Wallstreet. He didn't care, as a matter of fact, he was just fine with that.  
  
"Logan!"  
  
"Logan!"  
  
"Logan!" Sebastian finally smacked Logan's head for the third time that evening.   
  
Logan scowled at him, rubbing the sore spot on the side of his head. "Seb, you gotta stop doing that."  
  
"I would if you pay attention to what I'm saying." Sebastian really wanted to tell Logan to just go over to Zack and have it out with him. He didn't for obvious reasons, the primary one being that Logan might actually do it.  
  
"Alright." At last convinced that there was nothing he could do to get Zack's hands off Max, Logan forced himself to focus on Sebastian. Well, he didn't have much choice actually, it was either he talk to Sebastian or ponder *why* he wanted Zack's hands away from Max. The former seemed a much safer answerable task. "Give me a run through one more time."  
  
"Ok, we have a source from accounting at the Federal reserves. He claims that some money allotted for military and defense is by passing Pentagon and going to a different account." Persuaded that he finally got Logan's complete attention, Sebastian continued. "The money is going to a bank here in Seattle as funding for a government agency."  
  
"Which government agency? There's at least thirty five in the city."   
  
"That's the thing, none of these agencies are getting the money."  
  
"Then where is it going?" Logan loved nothing more than a good government conspiracy! Well, that's debatable.  
  
"That is what we need to find out. I just need to break one more password and we're in." Sebastian's cell phone rang with the display stating the caller. "...sorry Logan, it's Rachel. It looks like she didn't find a babysitter. I might need to call it an early night."  
  
"Yeah, no problem, we'll talk later. Tell her I said hello." Logan turned her attention back to the dance floor but was disappointed to see the obvious. Max and Zack called it an early night too.  
  
***  
  
Zack looked over his shoulder as he put a pillow case on one of Max's plush pillows. Max had tapped her traditional knock-knock and stood languorously by his bedroom door, a smile of contentment gracing her pretty features.   
  
"I'm so glad you're back." He heard her say as she walked beside him to help him spread the sheet over his bed.  
  
He too smiled, noticing how Max's simple presence always elicit him to do so. Well, it was that or seeing Max in her Winnie the Pooh pajamas. "Me too." he said as he reached out his hand for Max to take.  
  
With a naughty glint in her eyes, Max took the hand offered to her and with both hands, she knocked Zack on the bed with her resting on top of him. "Can I sleep here tonight?"   
  
Zack expertly flipped her under him, her arms locked around his gentle grip. "I don't know Maxie, I'll have to think about that."  
  
Max wriggled to her side and tilted her head up to plant a quick kiss on Zack's lips. "Think all you want, I'm going to sleep." And with that, she rested her head on his chest and pulled him to her, snuggling close. "Night babe. Turn the light switch off, would you?"  
  
Zack did as Max ordered and in an instant, darkness surrounded them and his predicament became obvious once again. Zack wondered, as he had done so many nights before, how Max could come to him so easy yet stand so far away. And as always, he came up with one conclusion, or name he should say, Logan. But it didn't matter, it was Zack who was with Max, at least at that moment and it was good enough for him. Zack absentmindedly stroked Max's back to lull her to sleep as he thought of the first time he held her in his arms.  
  
  
~~~Flashback~~~  
  
"Come on Zack, play on my team!" Jhondie yelled as she ducked from Charlie's tag to throw the ball to Tinga.  
  
"No thanks!" After all, it was more fun to watch Krit, Charlie and Max beat the hell out of his sister and her best friend.   
  
"I will get you later! I swear I...!" Before she could finish her empty threats, Krit body checked her so Max could cross to the finish line.  
  
A series of profound swearing was heard from both Tinga and Jhondie as Krit and Charlie roared to declare their manly supremacy. It wasn't long before Max was over Krit's shoulder, parading their victory and laughing at their own silliness.   
  
"Put me down!" Max shrieked but Krit continued to taunt Jhondie who now had her feet buried in the sand, amusing herself with what could only be called a live testosterone display. Poor Maxie, caught in the middle of it.  
  
Krit finally found that tormenting Jhondie with his howls was not fun anymore so he decided to join Charlie who had a torch in his hand, mimicking a pagan victory dance. Depositing Max beside Zack, he went wild pulling Jhondie up to her feet to join him and Tinga.  
  
"Your brother is crazy!" Max said after she caught her breath. She took the towel that Zack handed her and wrapped it around her waist, covering her string bikini and bare legs. She and Zack had taken her uncle's yatch to St. Tropez to meet his siblings and friends who were in France backpacking.   
  
"See now why I moved 5000 miles away from him?" He teased but Max knew of the bond that Zack shared with his siblings, she heard it when he spoke about Krit and Jhondie, his voice always tender with annoyance and love.   
  
The two of them were startled when Jhondie blasted up the volume of the speakers, sending waves of dance music into the chilly air. Joining the rest of them, Max and Zack moved their bodies with the hip hop beat to party the night away. So, in the middle of the night in the exclusively rich area of the French Riviera, the six of them hopped, screamed and swayed their hips in their skimpy bathing suits and their all too perfect forms. And with the waves of cold water hitting the soles of their feet and the torch lighting their way, they enjoyed the freedom of youth - - knowing no hurt in their hearts and having no care in the world.   
  
After hours of wild music and dozens of beer, the six of them lay spent on the sand, having no energy left to even go back up to the house they've rented. With all their heads touching in the middle of a circle they've made, one by one dozed off to asleep until it was only Max and Zack that laid awake.  
  
"Thank you." Max whispered.  
  
"For what?" Zack turned on his side to face Max.  
  
"For asking me to come with you. I'm having a great time." Max saw Zack inviting her closer to him. She rolled over and nestled her head on the crook between his shoulder and chin. "Night Zack.", Max said, feeling comforted and warm, something she hasn't let herself feel in a long time.  
  
"Night Maxie." And with that Zack closed his eyes to sleep, relishing the rare occasion when Max put her guards down to let herself feel.   
  
~~~End of Flashback~~~ 


	10. Part 9: Winter Wonderland

A/N 1 This part wasn't supposed to be written but I wanted to give you all a present for Christmas. To redeem myself from Part 8, here's some M/L shippery stuff. LOL. Thanks for the reviews. I hope everyone had a lovely Christmas : )  
  
A/N 2 The words for Winter Wonderland is by Dick Smith, 1934.  
  
**Part 9**  
  
  
***  
(Walkin in a winter wonderland!)  
Sleighbells ring are you listnin'  
(Walkin in a winter wonderland!)  
Sleighbells rings are you listnin'  
***  
  
  
Logan pulled over in front of a grand 20th century style mansion. With his engine still running, he looked over to the figure next to him then back to the steering wheel as he sighed deeply. He still had a chance to escape, all he had to do was reverse the car and head away from his current location.  
  
"Logan, this is all your fault!" Max said condescendingly, with one eyebrow arched high up, a little annoyed that Logan was acting like 'he' was the only one suffering the mess he had gotten them both into.  
  
Yes, Logan was quite aware that the whole situation was entirely his fault. Max had let it be known, loudly he might add, that he was to blame for their fate that night; a night to be spent eating cheese, drinking wine, singing Christmas Carols and pretending to be a couple in love in the company of Mrs. Moreno. "Thank you Max for pointing that out to me for the hundredth time" Logan said with a smug smile of feigned gratitude.  
  
Max shrugged and straightened herself on the seat, either in pure concentration as a pre-requisite for the theatrical performance she was about to undertake or to brace herself when Logan sped out of the driveway at 180 km/hr. She was hoping it was the latter but she heard Logan turn off the engine, confirming that her Christmas day would be spent luring an old gentle woman into an elaborate lie. The irony of it all! She and Logan would both go to hell for lying on Christmas day, of all days! Good thing she believed in neither heaven nor hell, or else she'd be in big trouble.  
  
Grabbing bags of presents from the passenger seat, Max mechanically stepped out of the car. She was exasperated that Logan was still sulking, a victim of his own stupidity. "Chill Logan! If you don't want to tell her the truth then stop brooding and put on your happy face. You look horrible."  
  
Logan groaned. He could just tell Mrs. Moreno that he and Max were not a couple, that would make their already complex relationship simpler but he just couldn't. He would break the old lady's heart, and what fragile heart she had, prone to constant angina and attacks. Why, she was just in the hospital last week due to chest pains! Logan was sure to cut Mrs. Moreno's life shorter with his most disappointing news about the truth of his relationship with Max. Ringing the doorbell meekly, Logan sighed and gave himself up to whatever the night had in store for him.   
  
Max - feeling sorry that she had to lie to Mrs. Moreno, feeling angry at herself for letting Logan drag her in his mess, but most of all feeling mad at Logan for acting like being with her was the worst thing in the world - followed Logan up the steps, wondering how on earth they could present themselves as two people in love when they were both pissed off at each other at that particular moment.  
  
  
***  
Sleighbells ring, are you listnin'?  
In the lane snow is glistnin  
A beautiful sight  
We're happy tonight  
Walkin' in a winter wonderland!  
***  
  
  
"Max! Logan! Come in. Mom, the Cales are here!" Mia, Mrs. Moreno's oldest daughter, greeted the couple joyfully. She dragged Max inside to give her a huge hug, almost squeezing the life out of her. "Here, let me take these bags, you can hang your coats up in there." She said while motioning toward an oak coloured armoire set.  
  
"Thanks." Max replied, hoping that the expression on her face conveyed appreciation instead of horrific fabrication. Brushing some snow off her coat and curly hair, she glared at Logan for the last time that evening. Whether she liked it or not, the time had come to act like the doting fiancée, and boy she intended to do a good job at it! Otherwise, she would put her drama professor in shame for not having taught her well!  
  
"Yeah, thanks Mia." Logan echoed Max with a nervous laugh as he readjusted his glasses. Not only would they be lying to Mrs. Moreno, they would also be untruthful to her whole family. The glare Max shot him also made him want to crawl back into a burrow where he would be all safe and threat-free. Yup! That's it! He could no longer take the guilt that was eating away at his social conscience! The closer he got toward the family room where everyone was gathered, the more need Logan had to scream out that he and Max were not engaged. Slowly, one by one, smiling innocent faces appeared to him. Logan stopped walking and froze. No he couldn't go through with it, he would confess and get this whole thing over with!   
  
That's when he felt Max's hand around his arm. So soft and tender, she led him to where the others had been waiting. Before they reached the main entrance, Max turned to him with all her beauty, a rare smile gracing her perfect features. She reached up to his hair, brushing off snow he didn't know was there. Then her fingers came down to his jaw, holding it as she tilted up to plant a kiss on his lips. Then with absolute grace she walked inside the festively decorated room. Candles were lighted in every corner, a Christmas tree towered by the fireplace and the smell of pine added to the warm feeling of the holidays.   
  
Logan was stunned. He hadn't expected Max to transform so quickly, if at all. She bloomed into this charming lady who adored him dearly from her earlier self who couldn't stand the sight of him. He knew which version was her true self, so for one night he would set aside his conscience and enjoy the Max he had in his arms. The Max he thought he'd lost, the Max hiding in the usually fearless, feisty facade. And for the first time that evening, Logan's smile was real and well felt.  
  
  
***  
Gone away is the blue bird  
Here to stay is the new bird  
He sings a love song  
As we go along  
Walkin' in a winter wonderland!  
***  
  
  
"Maxie! Junior! You're both here, I'm so pleased the two of you could come." Mrs. Moreno extended her arms as both Max and Logan leaned down to embrace her.  
  
"Thank you for having us." Max answered sweetly, her hand reaching out to entwine with Logan's.  
  
"Alright, Logan! You look stunning as always Maxie." Melvin, Mrs. Moreno's middle child, shook Logan's hand firmly and gave Max a peck on the cheek. "Good, you two are just in time for the carols. There you go." He handed Max and Logan the lyrics for the songs and continued doing so to the others in the room.   
  
A tiny 9 year old grandchild donned in a red dress sat in front of the grand piano and started tuning it. As soon as she was ready and the two dozen people in the room were settled down, she started playing a long string of Christmas Carols.  
  
Max was standing in front of Logan with his arm wrapped around her waist, holding her close to him. He could feel her chuckle as she barely kept up with the songs. Max had been gifted with profound talents from her eloquent use of words to her believable dramatic skills but singing was obviously not one in which she was given even a slight blessing on. God, she was a horrible singer; either saying the word before or after it was supposed to be said, and always out of tune. But Logan had never heard a more heavenly sound in his life than Max's voice with a hint of laughter and pure joy. Logan couldn't help but smile, he rested his chin on her shoulder and tipped his head on the side to kiss Max on the cheek. She was grinning and singing at the same time, it was lovely. And without turning away from the lyrics she held with one hand, Max put a hand on top of the arm that was laying on her tummy. Her fingers stayed there, drawing lazy circles around Logan's wrist.   
  
There was something about the air, or perhaps the house itself, that made Max and Logan feel perfectly at ease. It was like drawing them both out of their every day, sometimes hostile, context and placing them in a land of memories and dreams. A fantasy world where they could both pretend that everything was happy and nothing hurts. Like the whole world disappeared and was replaced with hazy images of childhood memories; of a little girl running around the Christmas tree with lacy ribbons as her tail, of a young man sweeping her up as he tickled her, of sounds of laughter from voices they longed to hear again, of candle lights on the table and turkey dinners made by a mother who no longer belonged to this earth. Hazy dreamlike mist settled around Max and Logan, spinning them both in a land where they wished they were always at. A mental state so pure and joyous; an innocent need to be loved, a natural need to bond, an instinctive need to accept one's other half.  
  
  
***  
In the meadow we can build a snowman  
Then pretend that he is Parson Brown  
He'll say, "Are you married?"  
We'll say, "No man!  
But you can do the job when you're in town!"  
***  
  
  
"So, Maxie, I was expecting a wedding invitation and I never got one." Mrs. Moreno teased as she handed both Max and Logan a cup of tea.  
  
This was it! Max drew a deep breath, "We haven't decided on a date yet." She said as she sipped her tea. "Things are getting very hectic at Biotech, so we figured we'd wait a little. A year or two wouldn't make much of a difference, besides we're enjoying being engaged." Max gave Logan the most wicked and charming smile. He was glad he was sitting down because he almost melted away. He couldn't understand why Max had that kind of effect on him. He liked being on his toes, to know what would happen next and have control over things. But Max disoriented his space, always throwing unexpected surprises and treats. Tonight's was most welcomed but others, like Zack's appearance, were not. Oh, Logan was happy when Zack went back to his lab in Wyoming. He just couldn't stand the guy. Logan wondered what Max saw in him, was it something he didn't have?  
  
Mrs. Moreno nodded, "Well, at least you should be thinking about the gown and the venue. It's so hard to get a decent place booked these days. Richard's wedding took us almost a year and a half to plan."  
  
Marie, Richard's bride, overheard the conversation and joined in. "What is this I hear about you two getting married!" She said addressing Logan.  
  
"Yeah, Max and I are." Logan didn't know where the pride in his voice came form, but saying those words felt completely right.  
  
"Congratulations! I'm surprised this wonderful news isn't all over the media yet. I'm sure my brother-in-law, Melvin, would love to do a story on you two." She declared as she scanned the whole room, looking for Melvin so she can personally suggest the idea to him. There was nothing more romantic than two childhood friends, separated for fifteen years, finding each other again and tying the knot. Ah, the idea made her want to weep.  
  
Alarm bells went off in Logan's head! Considering the stunned reaction on Max's face, she too appeared to agree that media publicity of the 'engagement' would be more than what the two of them could live with. Max gave Logan a do-something look, so he said, "Let me find Melvin and discuss this with him."  
  
"Great! I'll come with you." Marie offered.  
  
"No!" Max almost shouted from her seat. Then calming herself down, she blatantly lied, "I mean, no, leave Logan to do that. I was hoping you can give me tips on how to choose a wedding gown. Yeah, right, you know, you probably have tons of magazines and stuff to show me."  
  
Marie was happy to comply and could not offer enough magazines to Max. With stacks and piles of wedding books and pictures, the two young women occupied a corner in the family room as each rummaged through each design to find the perfect wedding gown for Max.  
  
  
***  
Later on we'll conspire  
As we dream by the fire  
To face unafraid  
The plans that we made  
Walkin in a winter wonderland!  
***  
  
  
Logan found Melvin having wine by the fireplace. He joined him and initially made conversations about the latest news in the stock exchange. When everything was said about which portfolio gained more and which ones lost, Logan subtly brought up the topic of his supposedly upcoming nuptial with Max.  
  
Logan cleared his throat then said, "Listen Melvin, Marie was saying that you would be willing to do a story on me and Max."   
  
Melvin nodded as he swallowed his wine. "Yeah, off course man, anytime!"  
  
"I was hoping you wouldn't. It's just that, Max likes to keep things private, you know." Logan then turned and indicated Max who was so engrossed in looking at fluffy white dresses that if he hadn't known better, he would have concluded that she was actually excited about picking out one.   
  
"She's a beauty isn't she." Melvin observed. "I told you she'd be a knock out when she grew up."   
  
"She exceeded my expectations, that's for sure." Logan was referring to late night images of Max in his dreams, of how she was slowly captivating his heart. And no matter how hard he tried to deny, she was etching her way in his soul and marking her place in his life. Not that she hadn't done so before because she had. The difference was, it was much deeper now and Logan was painfully aware of it. It wasn't just friendship anymore that they had. The two kisses they had shared were evidence that this pretend act was already something more, even if neither would admit to it. If Logan was honest to himself, he would acknowledge the fact that he 'wanted' them to share something more, though Logan was still afraid to define what it was.   
  
Melvin eyed Logan and recognized the love that wasn't allowed yet to be seen, the love contained inside him, the love waiting to be returned. Max and Logan were performing very well for everybody's sake, but Melvin had interacted enough with people to know when they were lying. He didn't succeed as a journalist for being innocent and naïve. "You want it was true?"  
  
At that second, Logan knew he was found out. He wasn't sure yet if he was ready for whatever answer he would give; but a question was asked and it needed an answer. Did he want it to be true? Yes, off course he wanted it to be true! How could he not? Would it ever be true? Off course not! How could it be? "It doesn't matter what I want."   
  
Aware that Logan and Max had other issues beneath the surface, Melvin gave Logan the wisest advice he could think of. "Give her time, she's still healing."   
  
Puzzled, Logan asked, "Healing from what?"  
  
Melvin didn't know, but what he knew was that across the room there was an attractive young woman having fun, and she wasn't pretending to be even if she claimed that she was. That was the sad part. "When she's ready, she'll tell you."  
  
"Tell me what?" Logan couldn't understand, Melvin was speaking in riddles.   
  
Melvin smiled, "Merry Christmas Logan.", then he walked away.  
  
  
***  
In the meadow we can build a snowman  
And pretend that he's a circus clown  
We'll have lots of fun with Mr. Snowman  
Until the other kiddies knock him down!  
***  
  
  
Max saw Logan by the windows, staring out in the snowy landscape. "Hey! What are you looking at?"  
  
Logan moved aside so Max could see as well. He then turned to her, searching for what Melvin had seen to clue him in as to what it was exactly that Max was healing from. There was nothing but a young lady with an aura of bliss. Logan let go of his search for the night and grinned, "Nothing, just Mrs. Moreno's grandkids making a snowman."  
  
"Looks like fun!" Max was still in a happy mood courtesy of spending an hour dreaming about her perfect wedding, even if it was just pretend. "I saw you talking to Melvin, is everything taken care off?" Honestly though, she couldn't care less. She was enjoying planning the wedding, they might as well just have one!  
  
"Um-mm, it's all cool! Whoa, look at that kid go!" Logan yelled as a small little boy sleighed down a makeshift toboggan hill, missing a tree by just a few inches. "Did you see him?"   
  
"Yeah, I saw him." Max stepped closer to Logan, but only to see more of the outside view. "Kids are cute, especially if they're not crying or needed changing." Max laughed at her own joke! She swore, Mrs. Moreno had put something in her drinks to make her giggly. She was even genuinely pleased to have Logan's company, if one could believe that!  
  
"Would you like a boy or a girl?" Logan asked, quite not sure of where the question came from.  
  
Max pondered on the possibilities for a moment, convincing herself that Logan was asking a rhetorical question. It wasn't one that insinuated future children that the two of them would have. Though the answer to that insinuation, if there had been one, was a boy with blue eyes just like his. Then again, there was no insinuation so she replied, "Since I'm an only child, I think I'd like both. You're an only child too, don't you feel like you missed out on not having any siblings?"  
  
Logan nodded, "Yeah, I guess so. Both would be nice."  
  
Max wondered if Logan agreed with her that both a boy and a girl were nice to have in general or whether the two of them had just agreed to have both if they ever went through with the wedding. Deciding that Logan would never want to go through with it, and 'she' obviously wound never 'want' it either, it was then settled that Logan's statement was a general one.   
  
"Look! A snow fight!" Both Max and Logan said in unison, mostly to escape the conversation that was starting to get loaded with future possibilities and promises.  
  
  
***  
When it snows, ain't it thrillin'  
Though your nose gets a chillin'?  
We'll frolic and play  
The Eskimo way  
Walkin' in a winter wonderland!  
Walkin' in a winter wonderland!  
***  
  
  
Logan grabbed Max's hips and lifted her up, heading toward the door. As soon they were outside, he deposited Max behind him, saying, "I bet I can beat you, I always do!"  
  
"No you do not!" Max protested, "Ok fine, but it was only because I was much smaller than you! Not anymore though!" She mocked as she picked up fresh snow from the ground and smudged it on Logan's face.  
  
Clearing his face off, Logan grabbed himself a handful of snow and aimed his hit directly at Max. She dodged and he missed. Logan was quick on his feet though, he run after Max and pinned her down under him, burying them both in cold winter snow and warming themselves with the intimate physical contact they shared.  
  
  
***  
(Walkin in a winter wonderland!)  
Sleighbells ring are you listnin'  
(Walkin in a winter wonderland!)  
Sleighbells rings are you listnin'  
*** 


	11. Part 10: Dreams, Nightmares & Realities

A/N: You're welcome for the Christmas present and thank you for the reviews : ) Please read the recap so you'd be able to enjoy this next post more : ) My beta could not be found, she's having technical difficulties : ( As always, constructive criticisms are welcomed.   
  
Recap:  
  
Part 4  
  
She would dream herself locked up in a dark corner of a room. Abandoned, unworthy and unloved. Logan was there like a shadow but he didn't move, she would beg and scream for him but nothing would happen. Then she would wake up, more lonely and aware that she was alone.   
  
Part 7  
  
Max found herself yearning for the days when Logan would cradle her as he lulled her to sleep after waking up from a bad dream. 'Hush Maxie, I'm right here', he would say and those very words kept her hope as she waited for him to say them to her again.  
  
  
  
**Part 10**  
  
Max heard the knock on the door and swore under her breath. She had fallen asleep again while taking her bath, leaving her no time to get ready before her food arrived. She slowly raised both knees and carefully held on the edge of the tub as she got up, her muscles stiff from her unexpected slumber. Dripping with a melange of water, bubbles and scented oil, Max landed both feet on the dry marble floor as she slipped in a white robe.  
  
"I'm coming!" She yelled as she hurriedly grabbed the wallet sitting on her night stand. She heard the knock again, this time recognizing the distinct pattern that left her certain that it wasn't the pizza boy delivering her food. It appeared that for the third time that week, her friendly neighbour had again *mistakenly* received the pizza she ordered. Being the rich kind doctor that he was, he had taken it upon himself to pay for the food and personally deliver it to her.  
  
"Rafer, Hi. Looks like they brought you my pizza again, huh?" Max said with an exaggerated smile as she opened her door.  
  
"Hi Max!" Rafer shrugged innocently enough but the glitter of deceit that glazed his almond shaped eyes could not be concealed. "Yeah, it looks like."  
  
Max nodded, willing to bet her entire trust fund that Rafer had bribed the delivery boy to alert him of any orders coming from Max's apartment. "So how much do I owe you?" Max took the box that was resting on Rafer's open palm.  
  
"Nothing if you share it with me." Rafer said suggestively, his spirit not tarnished by her two previous rejections.  
  
Graciously, Max appeased "I could hardly serve you pizza after showing me such generosity. How about I make us some home cooked meal one of these days?" Yeah right! Hello?! There was a reason she had a frequent pizza card! She couldn't even cook pasta right. Rafer, however, did not need to know that.  
  
Rafer was encouraged, an eventual dinner invitation was better than a blatant NO. He was progressing. "That'd be nice, I'll look forward to that."  
  
Max smiled as she waved him good bye, feeling a tad bit guilty for leading him on to look forward to nothing. It would have been so much easier to downright refuse him since she certainly had no problems being brutally honest and mean. But no. She liked to reserve her nastiness to a few special people. Logan being one of them, her uncle and smart-ass lawyer being the other two. The three men in her life; one she hated, one she needed and one..., one she couldn't live without. Though she hadn't decided yet which one was which.  
  
Closing the door behind her with one leg, Max looked forward to an evening of curling up on her bed with a book and some jazz music. Unfortunately, fate had other plans for Max. Her calm existence was shattered yet again by another round of knocks on the door.   
  
Depositing the pizza on the coffee table, Max decided that Rafer was definitely writing his name fast on her Hate List. But ripples of shock overcame Max when she realized that it wasn't Rafer standing at the opposite end of the opened door. In flesh and as real as her nightmares, the man she thought she had finally escaped had captured her once again, "Uncle Donald."  
  
***  
  
Max stood with her arms crossed across her chest, observing the man whose back was turned to her. He stood by her windows, surveying the night sky of Seattle, a habit she herself had fallen into. Donald Lydecker. His presence so commanding that if Max hadn't toughened herself up to resist his strong will, he would have had her regressing back to a scared little child the second she saw him again. Luckily, the defense system she had built and strengthened in the years she spent with him was intact. He didn't intimidate her at all. Her cool demeanor suggested that his unexpected arrival didn't bother her in the least.   
  
"I thought you'd be back home by now." He said without any indication that he knew she was there until he spoke.  
  
"I told you I'd never go back." Max responded in fact.   
  
Lydecker turned to look at his niece who had changed into a dark sweater and a pair of jeans. Two defiant brown eyes glared at him. "You're not abandoning The Chamber, Max. You've had four months of your little rebellion, but now it's time to finish what we're working on."  
  
He just didn't understand. "I am not rebelling."  
  
"Then what do you think you're doing?" Lydecker had only himself to blame for tolerating the independent mind his niece had. He'd always thought it a great character to possess, he fostered it thinking that it was what was needed to succeed in the work he had in mind for her. Ironic that the same trait he molded to his advantage was the very same that was working against him.  
  
"I'm living my life, that's what I'm doing." Max neglected to add that she was living a life not shadowed by somebody's promise or ruled by someone else's desires. A life that she was making her own as she faced and got over the past that consumed her. A life that she was starting afresh; following her own rules and no longer vulnerable to the whims of those around her.   
  
"This is ridiculous Max. Your life is with The Chamber." Lydecker's authoritative tone was unyielding. "You will get packed, hand over Biotech to Logan Cale and you will go back to Greece. Do you understand?"  
  
Max smirked, not quite believing that her uncle still had the nerve to speak to her like the helpless child that she was. "You don't order me around anymore."  
  
"You will do as I tell you." Max would and Lydecker would use any means to ensure that she did. He had done so and succeeded before and he could surely do so again.  
  
"You're pretty sure of yourself." And that unnerved Max, though showing it she would not. All of a sudden, the tension in the room got too much, she felt herself gasping for breath.   
  
"Listen to me Max, before somebody, including yourself, gets hurt." Lydecker warned, his stance the picture of serene calm.  
  
Too late, she already was. "You're wasting your time, leave now."   
  
Lydecker realized that Max would no longer submit to verbal commands. Regretting that he would have to implement a plan that would potentially hurt her, he walked out the door that Max had opened for him. Glancing at her once last time and meeting her cold stare, Lydecker nodded. A nod Max knew too well for it indicated an acknowledgement that they both knew the consequences of disobeying him.   
  
Max heard the elevator door shutting close and let out a breath she didn't know she held. She felt her energy drain away, her knees so wobbly that they could no longer support her. She leaned with her back on the wall, and slowly, she let gravity take her body down. The warmth and the tension in the room were all gone and replaced by chilling fear. Max hugged both her knees, trying desperately to stop the shudders rippling her body. A single tear fell on her cheek and with a shaky hand she wiped it away. But soon another fell. Then another. And another. Until Max tightly closed her eyes, but only to have more unwanted stream of tears fall down.   
  
Since Max had moved to Greece, her uncle was the only family she had. He was a constant presence that she had learned to count on. Unlike some people, he was always there. As a weak and helpless child, she was under his care. He gave her all material wealth. The cultured world was hers to learn. An abandoned child couldn't ask for anything more. An unwanted child didn't deserve to ask for more. But Max did.   
  
  
~~Flashback~~  
  
Max laid quietly on her bed, the comforter swallowing her tiny body in a cocoon of warmth. Then, for the hundredth time that night, she looked at the clock that rested on her head board. The small hand was pointing to 11 and the big one to 6, indicating that it was already 11:30 P.M. Her uncle was usually home a lot earlier and would normally be asleep at that time. And so would she. But he was not so Max just hoped that her uncle would come soon because she didn't know how much longer she could stay awake. She had tossed and turned a million times and had recited all the stories she knew by heart just to distract herself from impending sleep.  
  
Then the familiar click of the front door lock was heard and Max was immediately put at ease. Her uncle was home. She willed herself to stay still as she heard his footsteps approaching her room. He never usually stopped by to say good night or to check if she was already sleeping, but Max never lost hope that maybe one night he would and that night was then. But no such luck; the footsteps were gone before she got her hopes up too high. Oh well, it wasn't a big deal.   
  
Just as Max had done every night since she came to live with her uncle 5 months earlier, she waited for fifteen minutes before she lifted her covers up to sneak out of her room. That night, Gemma had put her slippers and robe by her desk so she didn't have a hard time finding them in the dark. Without a sound, she stepped out of her room and walked into the hallway, avoiding the spots that she knew would make a creaking noise. Reaching for her uncle's door, she carefully opened it and made her way to his bed.  
  
As always, Max was like an angel in the night. Floating through the room, lingering there for a while and drifting off in space, her presence neither noticed nor heard. Unbeknownst to anyone, it had become a part of her nightly routine to wait for her uncle and see him off to bed. Max just wanted to be sure that he was home and safe. She just needed to be reassured that she wouldn't wake up in the middle of the night and have a policeman take her away and tell her that something bad had happened to him. She didn't want a repeat of what had taken place a little less than a year earlier. A man in heavy winter clothes barged in their cabin and took her to the police station. There, a nice old woman came and explained to her that there had been an avalanche and that her parents might be under the snow. She didn't know what that had meant but she later found out that her mommy and daddy were gone and would never come back.  
  
So Max was in her uncle's room. She usually stood far from the bed, but close enough to see his tummy rising up and down. She wanted to see that he was breathing and alive, that he hadn't died in his sleep and that he would be at the dining table when she woke up the next day. Only after such reassurance would she let herself go back to her room to sleep in peace, not bothered by thoughts of what might happen if something bad befell her uncle.   
  
But that night was different. He wasn't on his bed. Max's heart started to beat faster as she quickly checked to see if he was in the bathroom. No, he was not. Panic struck her. No, it couldn't be! He had to be fine! Max went into a frantic search for her uncle. She stammered her way through the stairs, making a lot of noise on her way that halfway through the living room, a worried Gemma greeted her.   
  
"Miss Maxine, what's wrong?" She asked as she kneeled beside the little girl, genuinely concerned.  
  
"Gemma! My uncle, he's not here. I'm afraid something bad has happened! Please, we need to find him!" She begged clasping her robe tightly around her, almost in tears.  
  
"What is this all about!?" Max shuddered as she heard her uncle's voice behind her, he sounded upset.  
  
Slowly, Max turned around to meet her uncle's inquisitive stare. Relief was overshadowed by intense fear as she saw the state he was in. Good Lord, he was drinking again. Searching desperately for words that would appease him, she replied. "Nothing, uncle. I just wanted to see if you've come home. I'm sorry to upset you, I'll go to my room now."  
  
But before Max could escape her uncle's wrath, he seized her shoulders and forced her to face him. He was so close to her now that her stomach turned upon inhaling the smell of alcohol in his breath. Then he stared at her, the time suspended as he looked into her eyes. Max saw a lost and angry expression on her uncle's face. He was there in front of her but he was really somewhere else. He was looking at her but not quite seeing her at all. Then in an instant his gaze softened. Max blinked in surprise, her big brown eyes still fixed at her uncle's face.  
  
Just as easily as Lydecker grabbed Max, she was let go. Addressing the nanny, he ordered, "Take Max up to her room, I'll be in my study. Don't make too much noise."  
  
Hurriedly, Gemma picked Max up in her arms and the little girl came without protest. For a moment, the elderly lady was afraid that Mr. Lydecker would hit Max but soon she realized that he never would do such a thing. Max had her aunt's eyes, and with that virtue the little girl was safe.  
  
~~End of Flashback~~  
  
  
To be loved. That was all Max asked for. That was all she wanted. Alone in the world and having the only person she cared for so far away, Max asked to be loved. It wasn't too much she needed. Just a kiss on the forehead as she got tucked in to bed. Just a hug here or there as she was told a word or two of praise. Max kept herself an obedient little girl, the perfect little niece in her uncle's eyes, hoping that he would eventually show that he cared. But nothing she did was ever enough for she never felt that she was loved.  
  
Then one day the young child gave up. She didn't need to be loved. Who gave a damn?   
  
She did, she gave a damn. The need for affection then turned to fear. The vulnerable child that Max was no longer was the perfect child seeking love but had become a child avoiding reprimand. For a long time she was afraid. Afraid that she would be abandoned yet again. Afraid that she wasn't worthy enough to be loved.  
  
Along the way, coinciding with the realization that Logan too did not care for her, the fear turned to hatred. How dare her uncle make her feel afraid?! How dare anyone hurt her?! She then decided that neither Logan nor her uncle, would make her feel that way ever again! The construction of the protective walls around her began and before long her defense system was built; she no longer cared, she no longer felt.  
  
But Max was only human, subject to the same primitive needs everyone shared. Slowly she learned to let the brick walls fall for no one could live in isolation for long; not even Max could live her life as a stoic form. At that very moment, sitting with her back on the wall and tears still freely flowing, Max needed the most basic comfort of all. Safety.   
  
Slowly and with much effort, Max dried her tears with the sleeves of her sweater and took the motorcycle keys that hanged by her kitchen wall. Riding the motorcycle, she let the vehicle take her to the one person who, unknown to her, had etched his way again in her life. As Max found herself in front of the Foggle Towers, it became apparent that it was already too late to deny that the man residing in the place was someone more than just a man from her past.  
  
***  
  
"Max." Logan blinked in surprise as he saw Max standing in front of him. Or more precisely, her back walking away from him.  
  
Max stopped on her track and reluctantly turned to face Logan. She decided to leave after knocking twice and receiving no answer. She should have known Logan would be sleeping, as his appearance confirmed. His blond hair was disheveled and his shirt crumpled from sleep. "Hey." She said, unsure of what to say. What did one say when one showed up at midnight in someone else's house? 'Hi I know you're sleeping and all, but I'm having a crappy day, can you give me a hug?'. No, not exactly. So there, she just said 'hey'.  
  
Was it really her? Logan blinked again to make certain that his eyes were not deceiving him, that he wasn't just dreaming, yet again, of her. "Max, come in."  
  
"Umm...Thanks." What was Max thinking coming here? What did she wish to accomplish? Why was she even at Logan's to begin with? All thoughts and feelings escaped her. "Umm...my building was running a fire alarm test, I couldn't sleep." She explained.  
  
"Ok." Logan nodded, quite sure that the fire alarm was not the cause of the shadows under her puffy eyes. "Do you want something to drink?"  
  
"Some wine would be nice." Max replied as she settled on one of Logan's couches, facing the sky scrappers of Seattle. Tiny raindrops were now hitting the glass windows, providing a backdrop sound to an otherwise quiet room.  
  
"Here you go." Logan handed Max a glass of wine and sat opposite her with his own glass.  
  
Max took the glass offered to her and waited in silence for Logan to start questioning her. He did not. So for a long time both sipped their wine and stared out the window, mesmerized by the droplets of rain descending down the window pane. Then Max looked at Logan and willed him to look at her. He did, so she caught his eyes and smiled, a smile that said thank you for not prying and accepting her as she was. He grinned and shrugged, then looked back out again into the dark night sky. Four months ago, the silence between the two would have meant discomfort, but this was no longer the case. Neither needed to say a word anymore. Logan was there and he wasn't going anywhere. She too was there and she didn't want to leave. They both knew that, it was just a matter of letting go of whatever gripe they had so they could both deal with that fact.  
  
Max didn't know when, but sometime that night, she fell asleep on the couch. Then, a recurring dream she had as a child came back. Alone again in a dark corner of a room she screamed. She could hear footsteps coming, shaking with fear, she screamed for Logan to help her. As each frightening step got louder, her heart started beating frantically, she was gasping for breath. She screamed again and the shadow in the room did something it never did before. It moved. It came to her and lifted her up. Then it whispered, "Hush Maxie, it's ok. I'm right here."  
  
Max's eyes flew wide open in shock. She found herself nestled in Logan's arms, her head on his shoulder, her cheek on his chest. She could hear him whispering the very words she had longed to hear so many years before, the words she didn't know she still wanted to hear again. She felt her whole body being gently rocked, shower of kisses landing on her forehead and a protective hand stroking her back. And for a long time she let Logan hold her, cradled in the warmth and safety he built around her. Then in his caring arms, she drifted off to sleep once again. 


	12. Part 11: Irreversible Times

A/N First, I would like to apologize again for not posting sooner. I feel horrible but it couldn't be helped because school is horrible this semester. I hope you all stay with me, even if I'm going at a very slow pace right now.  
  
Thank you for leaving a review, I wouldn't try so hard to get some writings done if I didn't know that you're all actually reading, thank you, thank you, thank you : )  
  
To my wonderful betas, Sydney and Laura, I cannot express how grateful I am for your help. This part won't be half as good if it wasn't for you, so hugssssss. You girls are awesome, thank you. ; ) All the mistakes are mine, not theirs.  
  
  
  
**Part 11**  
  
*Good afternoon everyone. This is your captain speaking and on behalf of Northwestern Airlines, we welcome you to Flight 231 bound for Miami, Florida. The expected flight time is 3 hours and 20 minutes with clear skies ahead of us. Please put on your seatbelts and turn off any electronic device until after take off. Thank you.*  
  
Logan did as the pilot instructed, turning off his laptop and cellular phone. Max, however, was long gone out of the conscious world. She had hit dreamland as soon as she settled in her seat, having had no sleep the night before. She had stayed up until the wee hours of the morning doing the report they were about to present in front of the publishing committee. In fact, Max and Logan were heading for Miami as distinguished guests for a Genetic Conference to be held the next day. Researchers from around the world would be present at the said event and all were vying for attention to get their works published in Scientific Journals like those under Biotech.  
  
As Logan felt the engine roar, he focused his concentration on the screen ahead of him to avoid noticing the ever increasing distance between him and the ground (he had acrophobia). After several moments of meditation, Logan finally heard the clicking sound which indicated that it was safe for the passengers to unbuckle their seatbelts. He undid his own and was about to lean over towards Max to undo hers but started having second thoughts. In the end, he decided to let Max be, reasoning that she would be safer with her seatbelt on in case they encounter air turbulence or anything of that sorts.  
  
The protective feeling Logan had for Max wasn't anything new for it was only one of the very many conflicting emotions he felt for her. It had never really been as confusing between them before. He used to never give her a second thought; she was just another spoiled rich brat whose parents happened to be friends with his father. Then the accident happened and all of a sudden he was burdened with helping to care for her. It was a detestable job for any sixteen year old boy and much more so if he had the resources to party like Logan did. Unfortunately, Logan's mother insisted that Maxie needed his family's support and enlisted him to sometimes care for Max. He hated it at first, not understanding why a nanny wasn't good enough. But she was such a sweet trusting child, that by the time summer came, he had fallen in love with her. She was annoying and lovable at the same time, but most of all she adored him. It gave Logan great pleasure to tease Max so that at the end of the day, he could come to her and woo her affections back. That was more than fifteen years ago and a lifetime away. Max wasn't wooed so easily anymore.  
  
Max was all grown up now and with that fact came a lot more complications. Who was she to Logan? A childhood friend? A business partner? No, not exactly. They meant more to each other than either of them would be willing to admit. Logan was confused as hell, he felt so much for Max that it was hard for him to make sense of it all. One thing was certain though, he wanted her happy and safe for all selfish reasons. Logan didn't want to see Max hurting for it hurt him too to see her cry. To see a rare genuine smile on her lips made his heart swell with joy just as seeing her cry ripped him apart. She no longer was a vulnerable child needing his protection but he still felt like he owed it to her. He didn't need to be a part of her life but he found himself making sure that he was.  
  
Logan paused for a while and reflected back to the time when Max first reentered his life. It was more than five months ago. He initially just wanted her friendship back because what they had as children was something too precious to throw away. The two of them bonded and the affection one had for the other was something rare. It was selfless, genuine and innocent. A lot of things had happened since Max moved away but Logan was willing to forget them all and start afresh. Max wasn't as forgiving though but time had proven that she was willing to try.  
  
As a young man growing up, seeing Max again was all Logan ever wanted. To see her again, that was all. He had convinced himself that after being reassured of her well being, he would let go of the sometimes insistent obsession he had for her. Five months ago Logan got his wish, he had Max back in his life again. He should have been content that she turned out well capable of taking care of herself. But he wasn't. He wanted more.  
  
As Max slowly revealed what she had become, Logan was left captive in fascination. She was strong, witty, smart, hurting, afraid, defiant and lonely all wrapped into one whole beautiful package. He admired her beauty, he was awed by her intelligence, he felt protective of her inner child, he felt anger for those who made her suffer. Logan was torn in all different directions that most of the times, he didn't know what to do.  
  
As Max slowly let the bricks around her fall, Logan began to capture who she was. He learned more about Max by paying attention to everything she did and every word she said. So much so that he could sometimes see through her barriers, uncovering deeper facts that cut through her act and dwelled within who she was. That despite all her beauty and wealth she was simple, down to earth and kind. That despite her strength, she had a need that drove her and destroyed her at the same time. And if he looked closely, he could see that she had a sad, longing look in her eyes. Was the pain remnant of childhood losses ? Did an old boyfriend break her heart? He didn't know, he wanted to know, he wanted to be the one to take it away.  
  
Sometimes Max let Logan do just that, like that night when she allowed him to lull her back to sleep after that terrible nightmare. So they had, in a way, gotten to be friends again. Or at least they treated each other with respect and subtle affection. But it wasn't enough. Logan felt that both he and Max were missing something very important, he just couldn't figure out what.  
  
Max smiled in her sleep and shifted her position so that she lay on Logan's chest with his arm around her. Instinctively, he started stroking her dark silky hair. She was starting to grow it and the weight of the long length took some of the curls away. God, she was beautiful. As if called upon to do so, Max slowly woke up to the beating of Logan's heart under her cheek.  
  
Max smiled, she could get used to waking up like that. Slowly, she pulled herself away from Logan. "Sorry, I didn't mean to use you as a pillow."  
  
"It's ok, I didn't mind." He said while holding Max close.  
  
"How long have I been out?" She asked without making any attempts to move away.  
  
Logan glanced at his watch and replied, "About an hour."  
  
"You sure you don't mind?" Max tilted her head towards his chest, indicating her earlier comfortable position.  
  
Logan couldn't help but grin and be accommodating, "No, not at all."  
  
That look on Logan's face, it melted Max's heart away. "Well, in that case…", Max resumed her sleeping position, burrowing close to Logan and creating a picture of perfection and love in a world so tarnished with betrayal and pain.  
  
***  
  
"Logan Cale." A blonde woman in her late-twenties approached Max and Logan as they waited for the elevator. They had just arrived at King Edward's Hotel where they were staying for the duration of their business trip.  
  
"Asha, hi!" Logan managed to say after he got over the shock of seeing his old friend. Putting aside his suitcases, he walked towards Asha to give her a hug. Asha, however, did more than that. She tiptoed towards Logan's face and planted a sensual kiss on his lips.  
  
Max was about to pry the leech, ahem, Asha off Logan when the elevator door opened and a wave of people stepped out. The two had no choice but to separate, much to Max's relief. Funny, she just met Asha and she instantly didn't like her. Could it be her #43 hair colour from L'Oreal? Perhaps it was the sluty way she dressed? Or the fact that she was lapping at Logan like a hungry cat? All of the above maybe? "Hi I'm Max." She offered since Logan seemed to be at a lost for words.  
  
"Hi, Asha." Asha gave Max a brief acknowledgement. She then laced her fingers with Logan's as she dragged him away from the elevator entrance where people were busily passing by. "I can't believe it's really you. What are you doing here?"  
  
Max took the liberty to answer the question. Meeting Asha head on, she explained. "Logan and I are here for the Genetics Conference."  
  
"How interesting." No, not really but Asha forced a polite smile anyway.  
  
"It is. The presentations are going to be catered to accommodate a less knowledgeable public so perhaps even yourself will be able to follow." Max didn't mean to fire that quickly but her ammunitions were ready so there was no point in waiting. She made a pretty good shot for her first attempt.  
  
Asha felt the bullet straight on but she wasn't about to be beaten by an anorexic brunette who was barely out of her teens. "Yes, you're right. I suppose Yale gave me sufficient knowledge not to embarrass myself among the likes of you."  
  
So, she was an Ivy Leaguer, Max wouldn't have guessed. Asha had that ditsy aura about her. "Yes, I suppose that would do." She replied in a voice dripping with saccharine.  
  
Logan was starting to get nervous. He didn't like being in the middle of whatever it was that was going on between Max and Asha. Women, he would never understand them. "Max, how about I meet you in your room later. We can finish the report then, ok?" Logan handed Max his briefcase and gave her a questioning look. Turning back to Asha, he smiled apologetically and said, "Why don't we have a drink and catch up on old times, what do you say?"  
  
Feeling triumphant, Asha declared, "What a good idea." Referring to Max, she remarked, "Don't expect Logan anytime soon Max, I plan to keep him for a very long time.". What? She couldn't let Max have the last word, could she?  
  
Before Max could attack Asha one more time, Logan hurriedly led her away. He thanked his lucky stars that Max's looks weren't real daggers coming on to Asha with superb precision. Logan quickly breathed a sigh of relief as soon as they rounded the corner. He just had no idea what the hell had gotten into Max.  
  
Max fumed all the way to her room. The little bitch! Who the heck did she think she was? 'Oh, I went to Yale', please! Feeling upset, Max immediately run herself a bath as soon as she deposited her stuff on the oversized bed.  
  
Taking a bath usually calmed Max down, but not that night. She kept on thinking homicidal thoughts of drowning Asha in her bath. Max knew her reaction was completely irrational, not to mention psychotic because Asha had done absolutely nothing to her. But she did act like she had done Logan, and that made Max's blood boil in rage. Taking several deep breaths, Max tried to reason with herself. What Logan did in his own time was none of her business. Okay. So why did she feel like it was? Because it was, damn it! It had been since he reappeared back in her life. Arrgh! It was so simple before when she just hated him. Hey, she did hate him! That's right, she-hated-Logan! There was no reason for her to be jealou…to be upset. Grrr..., Max suddenly had many more conflicting emotions than she knew how to deal with.  
  
Max prayed for calm to visit her but no such luck. She had finished her long bath and had paced the room a million times, and still no sign of Logan. Asha seemed to be keeping her promise, the little twit! After what felt like hours of waiting, Max finally heard a light tap on her door. Panicking and determined not to let Logan see how rattled she was, she picked up a bunch of paper and haphazardly threw them on the floor. Sitting on the bed with her legs crossed and a forced bored expression on her face, Max shouted "The door's open.".  
  
Logan slowly opened the door, half expecting to encounter flying vases as he had seen in those bad black and white movies. Would Max throw a fit just because he was having a drink with an old friend instead of helping her with their report? No, he didn't think so but the looks she was giving Asha were just scary, he was afraid her anger would be displaced to him. For his physical safety, he was glad to see a semi-sedated Max gnawing at her pen. "Hey, Max. How is the report going?"  
  
Max looked up to him, searching his face for lipstick and smelling the air for Asha's perfume. Logan looked composed enough and he didn't have an after sex glow so Max started to calm down. "It's going alright, I guess." She then looked at her watch which indicated that 2 hours had passed since they last saw each other. "I wasn't expecting you so soon, she was that much of a bore, huh?"  
  
She was actually. "Max, Asha is an old friend. I'd appreciate it if you were civil to her."  
  
"Yeah, whatever." Max faked a yawn. "So, what is she doing here?"  
  
"She's a lawyer and one of her clients is here in Miami. She's staying for a few days to straighten things out with the police." Logan neglected to mention that Asha would have been gone the next day but decided to extend her stay to spend more time with him.  
  
"How very nice of her." Max said bitingly, trying to keep her composure. She couldn't. She just kept on having this incredible urge to chain Logan to her and call a few people to have Asha taken away, preferably to the dark cold realm of the underworld. Max had really wanted to smack Logan too but he was just so damn clueless! Men, sometimes she wondered how they managed to survive for 2 million years with a very low EQ!  
  
Realizing her own inability to control her emotions, Max reverted back to doing her work. "Logan, give me page 10 of Zelazo's research, it's the discussion analysis."  
  
Logan went along with Max for she obviously wasn't in any mood to explain her bizarre behaviour. To be fair though, she probably didn't know why she was acting the way she did to begin with.  
  
Hours passed and finally the two finished their report. Logan was first to speak for Max was close to dozing off. "That's it. I guess we can call it a night."  
  
Max slumped herself on the bed and closed her eyes. "Yeah, I'm beat."  
  
Logan wanted to walk over to Max and cuddle with her. "Me too. But I think I'll take advantage of the nice warm weather and take a walk before I go to bed."  
  
All thoughts of sleep and fatigue escaped Max, her words were out before she could stop them, "With who?"  
  
Aha, Logan finally figured it out! He turned towards the door with his back to Max, not allowing her to see the mischievous smile that played on his lips. He teased her, "Whoever would want to join me." Assured that he had a neutral expression, he tilted his head to face Max and asked, "Would you want to go for a walk Maxie?"  
  
She shrugged, trying hard not to reveal her worries that Logan might had planned a secret rendezvous with Asha. "No, not really. But if you want me to come, I suppose I can spare a few minutes." How was that for class?  
  
Logan was certain that Max wouldn't swallow her pride so he did. "I'd like that."  
  
The two walked through the hallway and out of the hotel in silence, both assessing the other's motive for sharing their personal alone time. Walking through the garden, they headed toward the lake. Logan accidentally brushed his finger with Max's and he felt how cold her hand was. Wrapping his warm hand around it, he waited for Max to shoo him away. She didn't. In fact, her thoughts were so far away that she probably didn't notice that Logan was holding her as they walked.  
  
Max and Logan reached the edge of the lake and they sat on a rock that served as a makeshift chair, their fingers still entwined. The wind was a soft breeze and a perfect crescent moon made the water glisten with life. Such a perfect night for lovers to be out under the stars.  
  
Max was deep in her thoughts because the scene in front of her served as a reminder of a time so many years ago. The lake resembled the one near the Victorian Mansion where she and Logan stayed for the summer. The rush of memories brought on so many unanswered questions. "Logan, tell me about what happened after I left?"  
  
Logan was not expecting Max to open up the past, but she did. In a way he was glad because it was time for them to talk about it. "What did you want to know?"  
  
…And from here on the world stopped revolving, leaving only words and thoughts to stand against the frozen space of time…  
  
"Anything, really. I've just always wondered that's all. How has your life been for the past fifteen years?"  
  
Was it as bad as mine had been?  
  
It was horrible because you weren't in it.  
  
"It was alright. I finished my two years of high school and then went to Yale to do journalism.".  
  
Then you broke my heart with those words you unknowingly said.  
  
"I'm sorry I didn't get in touch when mama passed away."  
  
My uncle kept that fact from me until weeks after the funeral when there wasn't anything else I could do but secretly hate him and cry.  
  
"It's ok, she knew you loved her."  
  
A few of her last words were 'I tried to keep her, Logan. I wanted to adopt her but Mr. Lydecker would not hear of it'.  
  
"I did. She made me feel like I was part of your family, like I belonged. I'm grateful for that Logan, always."  
  
Unlike my uncle who never got over my aunt's death. Who never in his life made me feel like I mattered except as a tool for his precious work with the Chamber.  
  
"You did belong with us Max."  
  
You do belong to me.  
  
"It didn't matter Logan because I stayed in Greece anyway."  
  
It didn't matter at all.  
  
"What was it like there Max?"  
  
You don't have to say a word, I can see it in your eyes. I wish I'd seen your eyes before I left Maxie, I never would have gone if I did.  
  
"My uncle was involved with a project at the university. For as long as I can remember I've always worked with him. He had me brushing soil off bone remnants as soon as I could control my brush strokes. God, I was scrutinizing DNA samples before I turned ten. I was pretty privileged actually. He helped tutor me until high school and by the time I went to college, I could have probably taught Greek Mythology, Genetics and Selective Breeding instead of taking the classes myself."  
  
Sorry Logan, I can't exactly tell you why my uncle's work was confidential that he couldn't even trust half the staff he worked with. Let's just say it's so big that he had to resort to family to do work for him. Unfortunately, *I* was family.  
  
"Sounds interesting."  
  
It couldn't have been, you're here now.  
  
"I would have rather been somewhere else."  
  
I would have rather been with you.  
  
"I wish you had been with us."  
  
The simple truth.  
  
"There was no way for me to come back until your father's death. Thank god for the lawyer who threatened to sue my uncle if he didn't let me go."  
  
There was no way for me to come back because you never came.  
  
…And the magic spell broke, bringing Max and Logan back to the irreversible plane of changing times…  
  
"Maxie?" Logan kneeled in front of Max and held both her hands. He felt her trembling a little.  
  
"Yeah?" Max kept her eyes locked with Logan's, unsure of how to handle the revelation he was about to make.  
  
"If I could do things again, I would do them so differently. I never would have let him keep you. I never would have let you go in the first place." Logan said solemnly as he spoke each word from his heart. "I care a lot about you Max, I always have. I need you to know that." In that moment, Logan let his emotions go with no reservations or fear.  
  
It was hard to believe Logan because Max had been burnt so many times. But he sounded so truthful, she couldn't help but hope and that in itself was good enough. Hope.  
  
Max nodded as she pressed her lips together to keep the tears away.  
  
Logan wrapped his arms around Max and pressed his cheek against her. In a soft whisper he said, "I'm sorry Max, I'm so sorry. I never should have let him keep you. God, Max I'm so sorry." Logan repeated each word until Max hugged him tighter and replied, "I know." 


	13. Part 12: Choices

A/N Thank you for the really nice reviews. They mean the world to me and they keep me mentally healthy despite school's attempts to drive me mad ; )  
  
To my wonderful betas, Laura, Sydney and Kat. You ladies are the greatest. I cannot thank you enough. I appreciate the feedback, the honesty and the nit-picky-ness, ok, that's not a word but you know what I mean : ) Thank you.   
  
Please read the recap, it has been a while and this part sort of ties some issues throughout the story.  
  
Recap: Prologue:   
And then he added meaning every word, "And as soon as I'm old enough to take care of you, I'll get you back."   
  
Feeling hopeful, Max asked, "You promise ?"   
  
"I promise."   
  
Part 1:  
"She won't be serving 'Poulet chez Cale' today ?" Gemma was confused, they always had baked chicken on   
November 11. She never knew why or what the 'chez cale' meant but every year on this day, Max had always insisted on preparing the special dish.   
  
"No, not today." Nor any other day, he'll never come !   
  
Part 2:  
"Hello Max. It has been a long time."   
  
"Yes it has." Max agreed. "How have you been ?"   
  
And so went their polite civilities and cool facade. While deep down both would have preferred to shake the other up and ask 'why'.   
  
Part 11:  
You don't have to say a word, I can see it in your eyes. I wish I'd seen your eyes before I left Maxie, I never would have gone if I did.  
  
  
  
PROMISES  
  
**Part 12**  
  
Logan was lead by a waiter to a secluded table at one of the most exclusive restaurants in town. He wasn't the kind to use his connections to get access to overpriced private dining rooms but when it came to sources for Eyes Only, only the best would do. After all, his informants were risking their behinds to get valuable and highly confidential information to him. Not to mention that if anyone ever asked, he was never really there to begin with. The power of money. Silence had a price, almost everything did, except that one thing Logan had wanted most in his life.  
  
Logan waited for several minutes as he took in the sight of blooming flowers outside on the patio. There was a large birdbath in the middle with vines dripping along its edge and pigeons flocking around its core. It was quite a beautiful sight, one that reminded him of Max.   
  
Logan smiled. He and Max had gotten a lot closer since the night they went to Florida almost two months ago. Just the thought of her made him forget how anxious he was about the meeting that was soon to take place. Picking up the cellular phone from his pocket, Logan wrote Max a quick text note. **hEy mAx. do U wAnt me 2 get sOmeThiNg froM tHe maRkEt 4 diNneR lAteR tonIgHt?** Logan chuckled as he pressed the send button. Max was anal about getting text messages with improper capital letters. He would get his ass kicked for this one later. Would it be too wrong if he said he didn't mind?  
  
Logan glanced at his watch and saw that the informant he was about to meet was 10 minutes late. That's alright, he would wait the whole day just to come face to face with the man who helped Sebastian in cracking the government's security file. They finally figured out where Pentagon was diverting its funds and the answer was not what he expected at all. Their momentous discovery lead Logan to break the anonymity code he held for all his informants. He just had to meet this one.   
  
"Logan Cale." Logan turned around but what he saw completely shocked him.  
  
"Mr. Lydecker?!" Donald Lydecker stood in front of Logan in his signature self righteous manner. He was obviously amused by the young man's reaction as Logan's face contorted from surprise to questioning then finally to murderous hatred under the span of one second.  
  
"Good to see you Logan, it's been a long time." Eleven years in fact.  
  
"What are you doing here?" You selfish arrogant son of a b!tch! The disciplined journalist that sometimes resided in Logan took hold before he could let the last part slip out.  
  
"I should be asking you that question since you're the one who asked to see me." And it took Logan long enough. Lydecker didn't think his plans would take more than a couple of months to unfold but timing was crucial so he had to be a very patient man.  
  
Logan finally realized that Lydecker was the one feeding them information about the agency that was secretly being funded by the government. As if the seven billion people living on this planet weren't enough, the government was actually spending money to create more, albeit they were genetically enhanced. Apparently. "What kind of a game are you playing?"  
  
There was no point in denying anything. "One that would do you very well to play properly." And Logan had been doing quite well so far. Just bite the bait and it'd all be painlessly over.  
  
Logan enjoyed a good game, especially if he won. It would help to know the rules though, but right now, Logan didn't know a damn thing. "Why are you doing this? What do you want?"  
  
A blunt question deserved a blunt response. "An exchange."  
  
No, this was not happening. Logan was not negotiating with the devil again. "Of what?"   
  
"Your life for another's." Lydecker saw Logan's apprehension grow. He liked catching people off guard, they were easier to manipulate that way. "Listen to me son. You are in possession of confidential information. All you need is evidence and you can go public with it and roast all those bastards responsible for this genetic engineering project." Lydecker paused to make sure Logan was paying close attention. "Before the committee finds out what you know and decide to eliminate you, I can give you evidence to shut them down. They'd be out on the streets before they even have the chance to get their acts together."  
  
Committee? Eliminate him? An idea Logan once had about Eyes Only being an untraceable cable hack now suddenly appealed to him. He used to have such good ideas. "Keep talking."  
  
"Here's the deal Logan. I will give you freedom, safety and national success and you." Lydecker finally sat down opposite Logan and leaned confidently back on the chair as he sipped the drink he ordered on his way in. "You, Logan, will make sure that Max goes back to Greece where she belongs."  
  
"God." Logan said in disbelief, "Is this some kind of joke? You didn't actually think this was going to work."  
  
"You won't be saying that in a week Logan." Lydecker commented with a smirk.  
  
Logan almost froze. "What do you mean?"   
  
Lydecker let the young man sweat it for a while. The less he knew, the more he'd want Lydecker's help. "You know the deal and you know where to contact me. I want Max and nothing else. Make sure I get what I want and I'd make sure you stay alive." Lydecker stood up and walked away, but before he was completely out of hearing distance, he said, "You've made the right choice before Logan. Don't make the wrong one this time."  
  
Logan crushed the wine glass he was holding and traces of the wine seeped through his broken skin. He concentrated on the pain as Lydecker's last few words vibrated in his mind. 'You've made the right choice before'. No, he had not. What he did was make a cowardly decision without consulting the one person whose life mattered most. He wouldn't repeat the same mistake again; there was no way in hell he would let Max go. No one, not even Lydecker, could take Max away from him again.  
  
  
  
  
**Eleven Years Ago**  
  
"Thanks." Logan said in very bad Greek as the boy on the other side of the booth handed him the key for his rental car. He then took his backpack and swung it over his shoulders, prepared to brave the crowd that was bustling around the pier.  
  
After several bad directions, Logan finally found the parking lot and sighed with relief as he dumped his stuff in the backseat. The sun was starting to set and Logan took off his sunglasses to survey the Island of Crete. It was beautiful. The scenery actually soothed his aching muscles, tired from 18 hours of sleepless travel.   
  
The Mediterranean Sea had its waves hitting the shoreline and around him were the mountains that fascinated the minds of poets thousands of years ago. And in one of those mountains resided the little girl who had fascinated him for as long as he could remember. Logan smiled. He was actually on the same island as Max. She was so close he almost felt her presence. With renewed energy, Logan hopped in the car with the life-saving map in hand.   
  
Logan had been waiting for this day for almost five years now. He promised Max he would take her back as soon as he was old enough. Logan wasn't sure if he was, after all, he was only twenty-one. But on his last birthday he gained access to a nice multi-million dollar trust fund. He figured his money could compensate for whatever shortcoming he had.   
  
His young age wasn't the only problem Logan had. Where would Max live when she got back to the US? Was he ready to take care of her full time? There were so many questions. So many uncertainties. But Logan knew one thing for sure. Getting Max back was not just a responsibility anymore. Nor was it a duty. It was a need. A passionate need. Almost an obsession. He wanted to have her back. He wanted to take care of her. No, he needed to take care of her.   
  
Logan supposed that the existential problem of life got to him early. Or had it always been there and it was just convenient to ignore? If that was the case then it may explain why there were certain people who never encounter it at all. But Logan wasn't one of those people. He, for all its consequences and joy, was faced with the most important question of all. What purpose was he created for?  
  
Life was hard. There was no other way to put it. People get hurt. People get beaten to the bones that sometimes there was nothing left inside that was worth living for at all. When Max left, Logan fell into the pit of that never ending void. She was his responsibility and all of a sudden she was taken away from him and he was left with an empty space within his being. What was he to do as he faced the feeling of utter helpless as he floated in space with nothing to ground him back?  
  
Logan did like any sensible human being would do. He tried to find some meaning. He searched for it at school. He searched for it at work. But no, nothing. Just as he was about to give up, he found it hiding inside the most precious place of all. Logan found meaning in his heart, at home, in the promise he made Max as she cried in his arms those 5 years ago.   
  
Logan would take care of Max. That was who he was. The moment he realized this he had his father's lawyers working on finding some legal way to take Max away from her uncle. It took half dozen lawyers and 438 days to find a loop in Marlon Guevara's will. Max was the other heir of Biotech and since Logan's father now owned the entire company, he had just as much right to be Max's guardian as any family she had. It all came down to Max's choice. Would she rather live with Logan's family?  
  
Logan never doubted the answer to that. He and Max shared this unique bond. The kind that wasn't severed by distance or circumstance. The kind that wasn't lost even if they themselves try. Like they were always meant to be on the same plane of existence and have their lives intertwined. That no matter how things get and how bad fate decided to become, they had this strong hold that kept them together. That kept them drawn. It was this unquestioning sense of security. That complete trust of knowing no matter what happened, the other would be there. That the other cared. It was a rare and special gift. No doubts. No insecurities. Just the pure sense of being completely who one was and being accepted and loved because of it.   
  
Logan finally reached his destination. He parked his car by the side of the road and saw a palace-like structure worthy of Aphrodite or an earthly goddess that Max would surely become. The walls outside the house were covered with ravine and only the windows were exposed for viewing. Movement at the corner of his eye caught his attention and he saw a tiny figure at the northwestern side of the house. Logan cleared his glasses of the fog that was starting to build around him and putting his glasses back on, he immediately recognized the person by the window. Max.   
  
Max had grown up in the five years Logan hadn't seen her. She had lost her cute chubby cheeks but she still had those pouty lips. It was Max's secret weapon. With a tiny quivering pout indicating she was close to tears, Max had poor Logan on his knees ready to please her and give her all that she wished. Logan was sure that he would eventually get immune but damn it, he never did.  
  
The sight of Max lifted Logan's spirit as he hurriedly made his way to the front door. After knocking on it, a gentleman with an inquisitive stare opened it. "Can I help you?"  
  
A cold greeting was not exactly what Logan imagined as he repeatedly pictured this day in his mind. His smile disappeared as he took on a more formal attitude. "Yes. My name is Logan Cale. I'm a friend of Max."  
  
The man nodded with understanding. "Please do come in."   
  
Logan was lead up one flight of stairs to an expansive room, which proved that the house was more impressive than what the exterior revealed. He then took the seat the man indicated. "Thank you."  
  
"Wait here please Mr. Cale." The man turned his back and closed the door as he left.   
  
Logan waited in silence, impressed at how elegantly decorated the room was. Dark red lights were lit at five feet intervals and the fireplace warmed the room and gave it a radiant glow reminiscent of eighteenth century style. The wooden floor creaked as he heard footsteps approaching. He stood up hoping that it was Max but something told him that it wasn't going to be her.  
  
Logan was right. "Hello Mr. Lydecker." He tried saying politely.   
  
Lydecker had a pensive look. He suspected this would happen one day. "Logan. I suppose you're here to see Max."  
  
Of course Logan was there to see Max. "Yes. That and to give you this." He produced the statement from the lawyers stating that Max had a choice to live with his family if she wanted to.  
  
"I see." Lydecker sat down and indicated for Logan to do the same. "Listen son. I know you mean well. At first, I will admit that Max did not want to live here. But it has been 5 years now. She's well adjusted to her surroundings and she's happy where she is. Would you like some drink?"  
  
"No thank you. I would just like to see Max so we can be on our way." Logan declared with confidence as he met Lydecker head on.  
  
"I'm sorry Logan, but Max is going to say where she is. She has been through so much already. You can't just uproot her again and have the stability she has grown to know fall apart around her. She's happy now, just leave her be." Lydecker tried to reason first. Physically throwing Logan out was still not feasible but it was definitely an option.  
  
"I've come a long way to see Max, please just let me talk to her." Logan saw Lydecker's point but his selfish desire to take Max away prevailed.  
  
"I wouldn't want to do this son, but it seems like it's the only way. Stay here while I talk to Max." Lydecker motioned for his assistant to stand guard of Logan as he went to Max's room.  
  
***  
  
Max stood by the windows and searched the road for activity. She could have sworn she heard a car stopping but she couldn't see anything for the fog was growing thick. She tried shaking off the distinct feeling that she was being watched, but she couldn't. Could it be Logan, could he finally have come? Her heart started beating faster at the thought but she willed herself to calm down. No, Logan wasn't there. Max commanded herself to stop putting her hopes up and drew on her anger to shield herself from feeling hopeful. Stop it Max. Stop it.   
  
"Max, are you still up?" Max heard her uncle's light tap on the door. She was tempted not to respond but her lights were still on, giving away the fact that she wasn't asleep yet.  
  
"What is it?" She asked in a slightly irritated tone as she opened her door half way through.  
  
"I just wanted to check on you. Gemma said you've been upset the past few days." Lydecker was very much aware of Max's preparations for Logan's return. He was getting sick of having that damned chicken for dinner.  
  
Last week was Logan's twenty-first birthday and it took her all this time to recover from her disappointment. "I'm fine. Is that all?"  
  
Lydecker noticed the hollow crest under Max's eyes. "No, you're not fine. What has been bothering you?"  
  
You. Logan. Me. Everything is bothering me. "Nothing. I'm going to bed now, I'll see you in the morning."  
  
"Max, it's not healthy for you to lock yourself up in this room. Now tell me what has gotten you so upset." Lydecker pressed some more. He knew which buttons to push to get Max angry and he definitely wanted her fuming at that point.  
  
Her uncle was impossible! Max could no longer hold back the screams she had been trying to suppress the whole week. All the frustration that had been building inside her finally exploded. "It's Logan ok! Now are you happy?! You were right about him! I hate him! I hate him! I hate him! Now leave me alone!" Max shut the door, not seeing the content smile on her uncle's face. That had been easy. Lydecker couldn't have manipulated the situation better even if he tried.  
  
Logan heard every single one of Max's hateful words. What did he do? How could Max feel that way about him. It was true that the only contact he had with Max was that one phone call he received a few months after she left. It was 3 o-clock in the morning when he heard the phone ringing. Unlike most people, he answered calls that disrupted his sleep because, from experience, those were the most important ones. After saying "Hello" a couple of times, a tiny voice at the other end of the phone said. "Logan it's me. I miss you so much, when are you...". And that was it. He redialed the number but all he got for days afterwards was a busy signal. He tried other means too. Letters. E-mails. Everything. But nothing worked. Logan had a feeling that Max's uncle had something to do with it. But he never thought that Max herself would want nothing to do with him. But this was obviously the case. It tore his heart to pieces to even acknowledge the possibility, let alone think that it was true. It wasn't possible! But he heard Max's words. They were loud and clear and full of anger.   
  
With slouched shoulders and a broken spirit, Logan saw himself out. He passed Lydecker by the stairs without even hearing his insincere apology. Logan felt like a bucket of ice-cold water was dumped over every fiber of his being. He was so numb and confused about how everything played out. He couldn't even summon enough anger to walk up to Max's room to demand why she felt as she did.   
  
Logan walked back to his car without turning back. Unaware of Max standing by her window gazing at  
the stars. Wishing he was there. Shedding tears she longed not to cry for him.   
  
**End of Eleven Years Ago**  
  
  
  
  
As soon as Max opened the door to her apartment her senses were pleasantly attacked by mouth-watering aromas. With a smile on her lips, she followed the smell to her kitchen and saw an elderly woman in aprons standing by the stove.   
  
"Hello Mrs. Marques. The food smells good!" Max said as she approached her cook and peered past her shoulders to see the dish.  
  
"Of course it does, I am cooking." Mrs. Marques declared in Spanish as she regarded Max like she would her own child. And like any mother, she couldn't help but give unsolicited advice. "I still do not approve of this charade child. When your Mr. Cale finds out that you have hired me to cook for you, he will be very disappointed."  
  
"Ah, don't worry." Max said playfully as she poured herself some wine and helped herself to some appetizers. "Logan won't know the difference. Besides, I've never said *I'm* cooking all these. I just say thank you when he gives a compliment and I pass it on to you!"  
  
Exasperated, Mrs. Marques took the appetizer tray away from Max and handed her some vegetables. "Child, if you will not listen to me then make yourself useful. Here, chop these up."   
  
Max was saved from the task when her cellular phone beeped. Looking over to Mrs, Marques, Max shrugged her shoulders and hurriedly run away from the kitchen. As soon as she was within the safe confines of her room, she took her phone and read the message that Logan sent her. Ah, he did it again! The mix of capital and small letters on the text annoyed her to death. He would pay for that. So with a mischievous smile, she replied back. **No, I don't need anything, just you.** Huh, let him think whatever he wanted with that. 


	14. Part 13: ?

Disclaimer 1: If I owned Dark Angel, it'll still be on right now! However, I've been watching taped episodes of Season 1 DA so that might explain the atmosphere of what you're about to read. Actually, what I'm trying to say is that half the lines in this post belongs to the writers of DA ; )  
  
Disclaimer 2:The words for "All the Love in the World" belongs to The Corrs.  
  
A/N Thank you for the generous reviews : ) They mean a lot to me and keep me motivated to write this.  
  
A/N To Sibelius, I now realize why I don't write a lot of dialogues - I'm not very good at coming up with them on my own : p   
  
P.S. This is just a (hopefully) fun post - a breather in between the last few chapters and the next three (which will be somewhat emotionally intense)  
  
Please visit http://www.adinfinit.net/danation/ to help bring back DA. Thanks.  
  
**Part 13**  
  
A black strapless dress with a hem that went just below the knee was hanging from the hanger that Max held with her right hand. After inspecting every revealing aspect of the dress, Max's gaze shifted towards the dark blue tank top she had on her other hand. She cocked her head in pure concentration. Decisions. Decisions.   
  
Exasperated, Max threw both pieces of clothing on her bed and sighed in defeat. She couldn't believe that she was running a multi-million dollar conglomerate yet she couldn't even decide which piece of garment to wear.   
  
Max's eyebrows went in a knot. Why did she even care? It wasn't like she was going on a romantic date. It was just dinner, the same platonic kind that she and Logan had been having for the past two months. Heck, she saw the man almost every day after work. Of course, they always managed to find a work-related reason as to why they should happen to be in the same room, preferably the kitchen, come dinner time. But tonight was different. They hadn't given each other any miserable excuses. Max and Logan were about to have dinner together for no reason at all except for their unspoken desire to do so.  
  
Swearing under her breath, Max stuffed the black dress and lace undergarments under the heap of folded clothes inside her closet. She then grabbed a pair of jeans and cotton underwear that was closest to her reach and settled for the tank top that was lying on the bed.   
  
The phone rang and Max grabbed it on her way to the bathroom. She let the cordless phone lie between one ear and a shoulder as she stopped by the sink and perched herself on the counter top. "Hey."  
  
"Boo! What'cha doin'?" It was Original Cindy on the other line. Max hooked up with her the first night she braved the Seattle night life. OC was looking for lickety chicks to take to bed, but what she found instead was a friend. The two of them had been best friends ever since.  
  
"Hey OC. I'm just chillin' with Logan for dinner. Why, d'you wanna hook up later or somethin'?" Max shook a can of shaving cream and lathered up its content on the length of her legs. She then took a razor, the purple one this time, and started the ceremony women everywhere were condemned to do for the sake of vanity.  
  
"Well, if you two ain't gonna get busy tonight, then meet us later at Crash for a drink." The 'us' referred to the odd group of friends that Max acquired through Original Cindy. It consisted of a tough-talking lesbian, a bible-quoting druggie and a gawky woman-chaser. It wasn't exactly the kind of crowd that someone of Max's background associated with, but she didn't mind. In fact, her crew served her perfectly well. With all their quirks and perks, they made her feel absolutely normal.  
  
"I'll definitely see you later then." Was that disappointment in her voice? "Besides, me and Logan aren't even like that."  
  
"Oh yeah? Then why are you shaving?" Original Cindy challenged. She had long decided to make Max's life miserable every time she heard the we're-not-even-like-that line. It was so untrue, it was pathetic.  
  
Max stared down her legs in disbelief. "How did you know that?"  
  
"Original Cindy knows the mind of a girl wantin' to get laid." When OC heard the horrified gasp that Max produced, she chuckled and added, "No, just guessin' boo. But apparently, Original Cindy was right."  
  
"Me and Logan don't have that kind of relationship." Max said firmly, trying to make herself believe the statement that she now said more out of habit than personal conviction.   
  
"So you would terribly mind if you two got together? Accidentally of course." And for effect, she proceeded to sing a song popular amongst lovers in denial. "Oppps...There goes your shirt, over your head. Oh. My."  
  
Max couldn't help but laugh. "We are not talking about this anymore. I'll see you later at Crash?"   
  
OC noticed that Max neither denied nor affirmed her feelings in the event that she and Logan became sexually intimate so she pressed on. "Admit it Max, you would like it a lot. The way you and Logan look at each other all dreamy-eyed."  
  
"Byyye." Max cut her friend off, as was the usual occurrence when she started getting teased about her not-so-platonic relationship with Logan. Good thing Original Cindy didn't know yet that they knew each other in childhood. It would just fuel OC's notions of a love affair that was apparently obvious between the them.  
  
Max shifted a little so she could put her other leg on the counter and start shaving it as well. What a girl would do to look good. But wait, she was wearing jeans and would all be covered up anyway. A traitorous voice inside Max's head whispered something insanely ludicrous, something to the effect of her wishing she would end up not wearing anything at all. What was that shrink's number again? These crazy voices were starting to get louder and louder.   
  
Max was about to put the phone away (before she got tempted to call a therapist) when it rang again. "Say another word about me and Logan banging the gong and you'd..." The humour in Max's voice, and her rant, was cut off when the person calling Max revealed himself.  
  
"Max? Are you ok?" Logan sounded very concerned. Banging? Gong? What the heck was going on?  
  
"Umm...yeah, I'm fine" Whew, that was close. "So Logan, you got my message?" Max teased, referring to the text message she sent him earlier. If she recalled correctly, she wrote, 'I don't need anything. Just you'.  
  
"What message?" Logan asked distractedly.  
  
The desired effect of the message was for Logan to think about it unceasingly. It obviously failed since Logan didn't seem to give it a second thought. Disappointed and pissed, Max changed the topic. "Nothing. So, what did you call me for anyways?"  
  
Logan shivered at the chill in Max's voice. What did he do now? "Max, I hate to do this but I met with an informant earlier and EO has run into some problems."  
  
Logan lost Max's interest as soon as he said 'EO'. "I left my sunglasses at your place last night. Can you look for it when you get home?" What? Max couldn't help it if her mind wandered off when Logan talked about the injustice of society blah blah blah woof woof. She didn't understand why EO was under Biotech to begin with. Whatever.  
  
"I would need to work late tonight, it's really important that I look into things right away."   
  
"You might want to try your room first, I think I left it there." Max finished off her bathroom rituals as she tried to block Logan off. "On second thought, forget about it. I'll just get myself a new one." She then wandered inside her room and disrobed as she put the speakers on so she could move around with her hands free.  
  
Max was doing it again, having two conversations with him. "Have you been listening to any of the words I've said?"  
  
"In case you haven't noticed, I can multi-task and parallel process like there's no tomorrow." Max said sarcastically, although some of her words were muffled as she put on her top.  
  
"Max, this is serious." Logan could almost see Max smirk as she listened to him.  
  
"When is it not?" Max zipped her jeans up and checked herself on the mirror. Not bad, the warm reddish glow of the room was definitely flattering her figure. "Informant. Problem. Need to work. So what's new?" Max run her fingers through her curly hair and tossed it a couple of times. She was definitely having a good hair day.  
  
This was more like the Max that Logan was used to - a perfect mix of sarcasm and charm. Logan supposed that whatever he did that gave him the cold treatment earlier was now forgotten. "You forgot apology."   
  
After putting on a lip gloss and smacking her lips together, silently of course, Max turned off the speakers and cradled the phone back to her ear. She then went straight to the kitchen where everything looked romantic. Candles, flowers and silverware for two. Mrs. Marques certainly outdid herself this time. With a smile on her lips, Max asked, "Apology for what?"  
  
"That I need to work late tonight, and probably the next few nights as well."   
  
"No problem. I can just re-heat dinner which, by the way, looks and smells so good." Max made her way to the table and pulled a chair to sit on. She then picked up the lid that covered the pot and took a piece of sliced meat. Biting it, she added, "And tastes so good too."  
  
There was no other way for a man to say the following words that wouldn't make him look like a jerk. "Max, I think you misunderstood me. I can't make it for dinner tonight."  
  
"Oh."   
  
Was that hurt Logan heard? But before he could be sure, the hint of the unnamed emotion was replaced by unmistakable anger masked with indifference. "That's fine Logan." Max said through gritted teeth. "I can't expect you to drop everything to have dinner with me. I guess, I'll see you tomorrow. At work."   
  
Logan ducked as he pictured Max's glare, especially as Max emphasized her last word. Well, a man learned something everyday. Women who were hungry get really grumpy. Oh, and that even rhymed. Logan said, "Yeah, see you tomorrow Max", but he was sure that Max didn't hear it because she already hanged up.  
  
***  
  
*Crash* was anything but what its name suggested. It was a popular bar for the up and coming twenty somethings, all of whom were wealthy, intelligent and beautiful. The outside was ordinary enough, but everyone knew that abandoned warehouses that turned to places like Crash were upscale, expensive and very exclusive.  
  
"Hey Max.". The bouncer greeted as Max reared up in her motorcycle and tossed her key to the valet.   
  
"Hey." Max gave a slight nod as she walked in, much to the chagrin of the people waiting in line. She usually chatted with the staff but she wasn't in the cheery mood tonight.  
  
Max immediately headed to the back where she and her friends hanged out. As usual, the three people she was looking for occupied a table that was smacked right in the middle of the room, conveniently located for everyone to see. They loved getting the attention.  
  
"No you fool! Legalizing marijuana just ain't right." Original Cindy gave Sketchy a good smack on the head. "Do you know what that'd be doing for the minds and lives of idiots like yourself?" Max swore that OC was taking her law classes way too seriously. Good thing the girl had sense of humour, otherwise she'd just be plain scary.   
  
"Now, now my sista'. Sketchy here has a point." Herbal declared as he took a big gulp of his beer.  
  
"I do?" For someone who had more than a dozen awards for excellence in news photography, one would think that there was more to this man. But whatever it was, Max was sure that it was hidden, very deeply. He must just be a savant or something.  
  
"Yes, you do. Right now, the government is losing billions of dollars in the black market. Criminalizing marijuana hasn't stopped anybody from using it." Herbal gave a mischievous smile and produced a pouch from his Marc Jacobs pants.   
  
"Original Cindy'd be a lawyer in a few months you know, she could be hauling your ass in prison right now." She grabbed the pouch from Herbal's grasp and threw it at Sketchy.  
  
Sketchy said "Thanks!" with an open smile.  
  
"It's for inspiration." Herbal was a musician, a song writer specifically. "It frees up you' mind." But before he could rant on about peace and love in his trademark Jamaican manner, Max revealed herself.  
  
"Hey peeps. What's happenin' y'all?" Every head turned towards her and all were rewarded with a saccharine sweet smile. For someone brought up in isolated privilege, Max caught up easily in the ghetto talk that everyone used.   
  
Original Cindy raised a perfectly sculpted eyebrow. "You're early."  
  
"Well, glad to see you too." Max grabbed a seat and a pint of beer as she made herself comfortable.  
  
"You're supposed to be having dinner with Logan." Everyone went quiet as they waited for Max's response.  
  
She just shrugged, "What're you all talkin' about before I came in?"  
  
And so the debate about whether to legalize marijuana or not went on. Max looked at each of her friends as they spoke. First, Original Cindy blabbed on as Max stared at her. Then her gaze drifted to Herbal as he continued his speech. Then Max looked at Sketchy as he took the floor. Then back to OC again...  
  
*Stop thinking about Logan*  
  
*O.K.*  
  
Herbal...  
  
*Why did he cancel?*  
  
*Why do you care?*  
  
OC...  
  
*I don't! Leave me alone, won't you? I'm trying to have fun here!*  
  
*But you're not. You're upset.*  
  
Sketchy...  
  
*I'm not upset.*  
  
*Then why are you having this conversation with me?*  
  
OC...  
  
*Because you won't shut up. Stop it ok?. Stop making me think about Logan.*  
  
*It's not like you don't think about him often enough.*  
  
Herbal...  
  
*What's that supposed to mean?*  
  
*It means that you think about him all the time. Only now it's different. No more hurting. No more pain. Just tenderness. And a smile on your face. Like the one you have right now. You're thinking about the two dozen roses he got you for Valentine's day. And you're playing with the necklace you have around your neck. You know, the one he gave you for your birthday.*  
  
Sketchy...  
  
*Can't you just shut up?*  
  
*I will if you want me to, but you don't. You 'like' to think about Logan. Why is that?*  
  
Herbal...  
  
*Ummm....I don't know.*  
  
*See? You didn't deny it. Do you love him?*  
  
OC...  
  
*What kind of a question is that?*  
  
*Tell me Max, I'm curious.*  
  
Sketchy...  
  
*I don't...I don't...I don't know.*  
  
*Why not?*  
  
OC...  
  
*It's complicated.*  
  
*It seems simple enough to me. He hurt you. He's sorry. You love him. So what's stopping you?*  
  
Herbal...  
  
*You can't say I love him. I haven't decided yet, remember?*  
  
*You didn't answer my question.*  
  
Sketchy...  
  
*What's stopping me? I don't know. Lots of things I suppose. Only one actually. Logan. I don't know how he feels*  
  
*Bingo!*  
  
OC...OC...OC...OC...  
  
"MAX!" Original Cindy yelled for the fifth time as Max stared blankly at her. "MAX!"  
  
Startled, Max froze and blinked in response. "What is it?"  
  
"You tell us. You've been sittin' there like a robot with your head movin' to look at us but not hearin' a word we were sayin'." OC informed Max as Herbal and Sketchy nodded in agreement.  
  
"Sorry peeps. This girl has got a mission to do. I'll catch y'all later." Max finished her drinks and took off, leaving her friends wondering what on earth had gotten into her.  
  
***  
***  
I'm not looking for someone to talk to  
I've got my friends, I'm more than okay  
I've got more than a girl could wish for  
I live my dreams, but it's not all they say  
Still I believe, I'm missing, I'm missing something real  
I need someone who really sees me  
Don't wanna wake up alone anymore  
Still believing you'll walk through my door  
All I need is to know it's for sure  
Then I'll give, all the love in the world  
  
-The Corrs  
***  
***  
  
Max revved her motorcycle in the night and headed to Logan's place. Unbeknownst to her, Logan and Asha were there sharing a kiss. 


	15. Part 14: Sweet Revelations

A/N: Thank you for continually reviewing the story. I love reading your reviews (even the threatening ones : p ) The beginning starts off really slow, but it picks up. I'm just not sure how well written this chapter is so your honest constructive criticisms are welcomed at raydyan@yahoo.ca. Thanks : )  
  
To Laura, Kat and Sydney, you ladies are the best! : ) Thanks for the beta.  
  
PROMISES  
  
**Part 14**  
  
Asha surveyed the contents of her luggage and mentally kicked herself for not having the foresight to bring some night wear. Oh well, she was sure that Logan wouldn't mind if she borrowed one of his oversized shirts. Sitting on the edge of the bed in Logan's guest bedroom, Asha pondered on the reasons why she was in Seattle at Logan's request. Too bad it wasn't under the circumstance that she once fancied, one that involved her staying long-term to pursue a relationship that Logan denied from her. No, the current reality was definitely quite different.   
  
Asha had just come from a trial when she received a disturbing phone call from Logan. Everything from their initial phone conversation to her arrival at the airport happened so fast that Asha was totally at a loss when Logan finally met up with her. After demanding some explanations, Logan obliged and told her the entire story about a secret government agency.  
  
Apparently, one hack after another brought the staff of EO to get a clearer picture of what the government was involved in. A facility, of yet unknown location, called Manticore was secretly receiving obscene amount of money from the US government. The project appeared to have started five years ago and its existence was closely tied to the Pentagon and the military. The words 'transgenics', 'gene splicing', 'human embryo' and 'super soldiers' appeared frequently on the confidential files they'd gained access to. Unfortunately, all they had was a bunch of papers that could have easily been forged. Logan needed solid evidence, an address, so he could go forth and expose Manticore. He gathered all his resources and Asha was one of the people whom Logan implored help from. After all, she worked for a federal law firm that operated in Washington.  
  
The World Humane Science would also be very interested in hearing about the government's secret project. WHS was an international organization that made sure cloning and genetic engineering was regulated by ethical standards with respect for life, may it be that of a sheep or an extinct animal. But most of all, it made sure that such technology was not used on humans. Never on humans.  
  
During the car ride to Logan's penthouse, Asha also learned that Max's uncle, Donald Lydecker, was instrumental in the current mess Logan was in. He had supplied them with all the information up until the final point where he refused to tell them Manticore's location. Actually, Lydecker was willing to do so if Max went back to Greece, but Logan did not even want to consider that prospect. As a result, he was trying to find the address himself so Max would never have to leave him again. There was a moment when Asha would have preferred ignorance but Logan held such a soft spot in her heart that there was nothing she could do but help him - even if that meant the possibility of losing him forever.   
  
Feeling dejected, Asha started putting away her clothes but was interrupted when she heard a light tap on the door. Turning around, she saw Logan standing by the doorway with an overnight bag dangling from his shoulder.  
  
"Are you all settled in?" Logan asked, his fatigue evident in the way he spoke as he mechanically went through the motions of how a good host was supposed to act.  
  
Asha smiled sympathetically as she took in Logan's appearance. He looked liked a man whose reason for living had been taken away. A pensive state now seemed to have taken residence on his otherwise spirited form, "Almost."  
  
"Great. Just make yourself at home." Trying to think of something else he might have forgotten, Logan checked his mental list and added, "The towels are in the cabinet beside the sink and there's food in the fridge. I've also left an extra set of keys by the door so you can use them tomorrow." Lastly, he handed Asha a map of Seattle, "You just need to take the 401 and exit on Avenue Road to get to Biotech. It's a big building, you won't miss it."  
  
Asha walked towards Logan and took the map, "Don't worry Logan, I'll be fine."  
  
Logan nodded. After a few seconds of silence, he spoke with much sincerity, "I really appreciate you helping me out Asha. I'm sure Sebastian could use your contacts to track down some leads." Leads that would take them to the doorstep of Manticore.  
  
"You're welcome. You know I'm always here for you." Asha stepped up closer to Logan, the underlying meaning of her words evident in her intimate stance.  
  
Logan wasn't a complete idiot that he couldn't read what Asha implied, "Thank you. Finding that address is really important to me."  
  
Asha closed the distance between her and Logan as she looked into his eyes and saw an intense love for the woman who wasn't her, "I suppose Max doesn't know about your meeting with her uncle."  
  
"No, not yet. I was going to tell her once I knew for sure she wouldn't have to go back." Logan slowly backed away, "Get a good night sleep, I'll see you in the morning."  
  
Asha eyed Logan's overnight bag, the evidence that he was planning to spend the whole night working, "You need to sleep too."  
  
"I need Max more." Logan stated simply and walked away.  
  
"Logan, wait!" Asha hurried after Logan and caught his arm. Her heart felt heavy for declaring what she knew was the truth, "Max is a lucky woman to have you." She stared at Logan as he looked back at her.   
  
"Asha." Logan said her name in a way that made Asha know that she and Logan would never be. He said her name as a substitute for an apology.  
  
Asha smiled sadly, realizing how cruel fate could be. After her unexpected encounter with Logan in Florida, Asha thought that she and Logan had been given a second chance on romance after their brief affair many years ago. She was so obviously wrong. She never had Logan's heart then and she would never have it now. It belonged to someone else, "It's okay Logan, I understand." Asha stepped back.  
  
Logan took Asha's hand and kissed her lightly on the lips. One final kiss to end any hopes of love, "Goodnight Asha." And with that Logan left.  
  
***  
  
Max's motorcycle ride gave her plenty of time to contemplate the reasons as to why she was heading to Logan's place. She wanted to know what was going on between them. They were certainly friends, but were they more? It was hard to pin down her emotions when she didn't know where to place them. Or more precisely, whether her emotions would be welcomed once she did place them into a particular man's hands.  
  
Max sped up so that the headlights from cars going to the opposite direction made her necklace shimmer in the night. Her peripheral vision would catch it from time to time and Max often found herself reaching up to let her thumb trace the pattern on the locket. It was a gift from Logan and she hadn't taken it off since the night he so gently secured it around her neck. It really had meant nothing but it felt like it meant everything as well. He simply said "Happy Birthday Max." and that was that. There were no words of kindness or affection. No promises of 'wants' and 'loves'. There had never been such things between her and Logan. She had never wanted such things. But why, all of a sudden, had she wanted them now?  
  
Because she was tired. Exhausted from pretending she didn't care because bloody hell, she did. She cared about Logan. She didn't know when and how but somewhere along the way he broke through the barriers she had built around herself. And now, now her life would never be the same without him.   
  
Max craved for the sight of Logan's eyes as they sparkled every time she entered the room. Oh, but more than that. She loved the way the side of his mouth crooked up when he caught her staring at him for no other reason than she liked to; she found him to possess the most beautiful face. She also loved the way he said her name. "Max" He caressed the sound as it slipped from his lips. She just loved to be with him, period. Just to know her eyes would find his when she raised her head and searched the room for him. It made her feel secure. It made her feel that she wasn't all alone.   
  
What did that mean? Max didn't know. Was that love? She couldn't really tell. But if it was, then that was just fine for she no longer found the thought repulsive as she once did. No it wasn't just fine. Her body's reaction to the possibility of love betrayed her impassivity to the core.  
  
Well, one thing was for sure, Max loved Logan's presence. Happiness dwelled within her when he was around. It wasn't anything in particular that drew her to him. She just was. And the thought of being drawn to Logan forever appealed to Max. Forever being in his company. Forever sharing a meal. Forever of exchanging fun banter and wits. Forever of drinking wine and watching the rain fall down. Forever of drifting off to sleep in his arms. Forever of being drawn in his embrace as they danced. Forever of feeling his lips on hers. Forever. It sounded wonderful. It sounded scary. Was there such a thing? For the first time in a long time, Max let herself believe. Maybe there was. For her. And for Logan. For the two of them.   
  
What about Logan? Was he just as drawn to her as she was to him? Max didn't know, although everything he did and said made her feel that he was. One way or another, she was about to find out. No more running away. No more living with the status quo. Tonight they would know. And tomorrow they would live with the consequences of what tonight would reveal.  
  
So with every intention of confronting Logan, Max made her way up to Logan's apartment. She knocked on his door. Once. Twice. There was no answer but she could hear the water running from the bathroom. Max stood with one hand on her hip as the other knocked again, louder this time.   
  
Giving up, Max turned the knob and found it locked. She swung her backpack to the front and fumbled with its contents for a minute until she finally came across a hair pin. With the ease of an expert cat burglar, Max picked open the lock and she let herself in. A playful smile curled on her lips as she surveyed all the valuable art work in Logan's living room. The man's place was a haven for thieves. If she was one, she would definitely start off with the Bast statue and work her way up to his modernist paintings. Too bad she wasn't, that would have been fun though. Oh well, perhaps in another lifetime. Or another universe.  
  
"Logan!" Max called out as she headed for the kitchen. But a small frown creased her brows when she realized that the sound of running water was coming from the guest bedroom. That was odd.   
  
Taking the familiar path to the bedroom she now called hers, Max was shocked when she saw articles of clothing lying around the room. Women's clothing. Not hers. Then who the freaking hell did they belong to? Possessiveness surge through Max at the thought of someone else taking over *her* space. She scanned the room and saw a passport on top of the suitcase that rested on the floor beside the bed. Max walked over and flipped the passport open.  
  
"Asha."   
  
Well, well, well. It looked like Max's wish had finally come true.   
  
"It's now or never Maxie." A small voice taunted Max, the image of Asha drowning in her bath made a pleasant picture in her mind.  
  
"That b!tch!" Anger fueled Max's every step towards the bathroom. Then she stopped dead on her tracks.  
  
A small sob escaped Max's lips when realization dawned on her. Logan cancelled dinner to be with Asha. Max felt her heart tearing into a million pieces, she could almost feel it bleeding with pain. How could that be? Max caught her breath as the whole room spun around her. She clutched her fingers close to her chest and leaned over the vanity table for support, only to knock the vase over and send it shattering on the floor.   
  
Asha turned the shower off when she heard something break in the other room. "Logan?"  
  
Stepping outside the stall, Asha wrapped a towel around her to investigate what had happened. Panic immediately struck her with the thought of an intruder when she saw that the vase had broken into unsalvageable pieces. Asha was grabbing for the phone to call 911 when her eyes caught a female figure escaping through the front door.   
  
The figure resembled Max. A lot.  
  
No. The figure was Max.  
  
Oh dear.   
  
Asha sighed and cursed her parents for raising her right.  
  
If only Logan didn't love Max so much.  
  
Before she could change her mind, Asha reached for the phone to call Logan and give him the heads up.  
  
***  
  
Some people liked the water. They liked watching the waves as they lulled along the shoreline; receding back to the core of the earth at one time then reaching up to the moon the next. Others liked the rain. The magic of nature as it recycled the very substance where life began. But not Max. Max liked to watch the city from her window at night. She liked to look at her world from a distance, a way of disconnecting herself when everything started to overwhelm her. Like now. Although now she couldn't see the city. In fact, Max couldn't see a damn thing, her tears prevented that.   
  
Max didn't know she had these many tears left to cry.   
  
It hurt so much.   
  
How could she had been so stupid? How could she had let her emotions rule her again? She just never learned.   
  
Max angrily wiped some tears that escaped away.   
  
Damn Logan. Damn him for making her care again. Damn her for letting him. Damn Asha for taking Logan away from her.   
  
But Asha couldn't take away anything she didn't have. And Max never had Logan. He was never hers.   
  
He was never hers and she wanted him to be. But now it was too late.   
  
Max's thoughts were interrupted when she heard her name being called out, "Max!"   
  
"Max, come on, open the door." Max heard the pleading tone in Logan's voice. As hard as it was, she ignored it.   
  
"Please Max." For the lack of a better thing to do, Max continued to stare out into the night, her stoic expression unflinching even as she heard Logan's desperation growing with each call.   
  
"Max, let me explain. It's not what you think." Logan caught Max's attention with that line.   
  
Slowly, Max made her way to the door and opened it. With a blank expression on her porcelain face, she declared, "Don't insult my intelligence Logan. I can put two and two together. Just save us both your heart breaking speech and go away."   
  
Max then turned her back without bothering to close the door. She knew Logan wouldn't let her and she didn't have the energy to fight with him. She started picking up magazines and whatever odd thing that happened to be on her way. It didn't take a long time for her living room to look immaculately clean yet she could still feel Logan's gaze fixated on her back. He was still there. Watching her as she moved.   
  
She faced Logan again, "I said go away."   
  
Logan smiled, as if he had just learned for the first time that life didn't suck all the time, "You care about   
me."   
  
Max didn't expect that response at all, "I'd care for you to leave."   
  
Logan tried to wipe the happiness off his face when he realized how hurt Max must had been to see Asha staying at his place. He knew the kind of raw emotion that was brewing behind her cold facade. It was an emotion that was too familiar to him. Logan felt it every time he thought about losing Max. It was like a needle prick on a sensitive spot. It hurt you. It haunted you. It wouldn't let you go, "I won't, not until you hear me out."   
  
Max crossed her arms in defiance. Her message was clear. Don't you dare take me for a fool, "Talk."   
  
And so Logan explained. The EO hacks. Lydecker's role in it. Manticore. The search for its location. Asha's role in that search. His meeting with her uncle that afternoon. Logan told Max everything except for the exchange that Lydecker wanted.   
  
Max grew quiet, and for a long time silence reigned over them. Logan wearily waited for Max's response. He sat uncomfortably opposite her, unable to gauge her emotions.   
  
Max tried to digest everything Logan said but her comprehension was stuck on the fact that Asha was not with Logan. They weren't together. She was wrong to assume that they were. She took a deep breath. What did that mean? Max stole a glance to Logan's direction and saw concern and something more in his eyes. She was afraid to call it love for fear that she was wrong. Finally she said, "My uncle would give you that address if I went back to Greece, you know."   
  
Logan wanted to deny this fact but the certainty in Max's voice gave away the fact that Max knew her uncle very well, "You won't have to Max, I'm working on it. I'll get the address and you'll never have to leave Seattle again."   
  
Max tilted her head and played Logan's words over in her head. She was having a hard time deciphering his intent. No. She was afraid because his intent was so obvious as she became the object of his intense and honest gaze. Logan came closer to her, so close that she could smell his deep masculine scent. He reached up to her and grazed his knuckles across her tear-stained cheek, "Logan?"   
  
"No Max. You'll never leave me again." Logan said as he continued caressing Max's features, "I know what it was like to not have you around Max, remember? I'll take anything else except for that."   
  
"My uncle is a dangerous man, Logan. Look at the elaborate scheme he'd pulled just to get me back. I won't let you get hurt because of me." Max said this even as she instinctively closed her eyes to feel every stroke of Logan's touch.   
  
Logan drew Max in his arms and kissed the top of her head. He then cupped her face and saw her beautiful brown eyes looking up at him expectantly, "Lydecker won't hurt me. Or you. I'll keep you with me forever Max, if that's what you want. I'll never let you go."   
  
Max was almost afraid to ask. Logan was saying all the right words that maybe this was all just a dream, "Is that what you want?"   
  
No more games. No more pretending. No more dancing around, "I want you Max, I never stopped. Since you came back, I always have. I don't expect anything you can't give me. I'll take anything I can get." Logan brushed away a tear with his thumb. "As long as you're here, that'll be enough to make me happy."   
  
"I want to stay Logan. I want to be with you." Max felt free as soon as she revealed her heart's desires. Happiness sparkled in her eyes.   
  
Logan laughed, a mixture of relief and disbelief, as he pressed a kiss on Max's forehead. On her brow. On the tip of her nose. Then finally on her lips. On sweet full lips that parted on his demand. That responded to his lips' caress, "Max."   
  
For a long time they held each other in a warm embrace. Time passed by as both swayed around the room in tune to an invisible music. The only sound that mattered was the beating of the other's heart. The only thought that counted was the knowledge that they wanted each other. That they always had. And they always would. It was putting a name to something that they both deeply knew though doubted at times.   
  
Softly, Max whispered, "Stay with me tonight Logan." It wasn't a request. It wasn't a demand. It was merely voicing out what they both wanted done. 


	16. Part 15: Worthy Battles

A/N: Thanks a million bunch for the reviews, especially to the ones I got via e-mail (because the sight wasn't working). I can't express enough how my heart warms when I read them. Thank you. To Laura and Kat, thanks for   
the beta. : ) P. S. Warning: Major sappiness ahead.  
  
**Part 16**  
  
  
Max still had the side of her head pressed against Logan's chest when the telephone rang. Both were startled as they withdrew from the sensations that were still so new to them. Max gave Logan a quick shy smile as she turned around to take the phone resting on her kitchen wall.  
  
"Hey." Max said distractedly as she, one-by-one, tried to get a hold of all the emotions that were fluttering around her heart. Anticipation. Doubts. Expectations. Confusion. Relief. And joy. Joy.   
  
"Hi Max. I'm trying to get a hold of Logan, is he there?" Sebastian asked in a worrisome tone.  
  
Max caught the apprehension in his voice so she immediately handed the phone to Logan, whispering Sebastian's name as she did so. "Hey Seb, what have you got for me?"  
  
"I don't know yet Logan, but you better come here. Somebody has been hacking in our files. Probably trying to sabotage our search."  
  
There was no longer a need for Logan to let Sebastian continue, he said "I'll be right there." before the other man could finish his explanation. However, turning to Max dissipated the urgency in which Logan needed to get back to Biotech. Her closeness and the sight of her made everything else shut down. Leaving only her to think about. Leaving his feelings for her the only emotions to feel. The whole world closed in on the woman who stood before him and nothing else mattered but her.   
  
As if the magical illusion was shattered, Logan suddenly became aware of reality when Max asked him, "Logan, what's wrong?"  
  
After regaining his thoughts from the disorientation that Max's presence caused, Logan slumped back on a chair and rubbed his thumb and index finger on his temples. Sighing he responded, "Somebody doesn't want me to find Manticore's address."  
  
Max nodded in understanding as she touched his arm. A touch that sent a warm feeling all over her. She smiled. It was ironic that even if everything else seemed to be going wrong, what she felt for Logan was finally right. Her current state of being was what she had been searching for all her life, only she hadn't known that she was searching for it at all. The realization that it was Logan who made her feel absolutely complete with herself made her chaotic world irrelevant. She felt content and peaceful inside. "You have to go?"   
  
Logan looked at Max as she looked at him. Both were staring in each other's eyes, communicating in a way not even words could do. Questioning gazes and reassuring responses. Words and reality tended to complicate things, but the eyes knew what the heart desired. Honesty was its way, and acceptance was its name. A complete understanding of being one's self without the vulnerability of being judged.   
  
Where did the two of them stand? Together. For how long? For as long as the other would want it. If that so, then forever. Because neither would ever let go of what they had just so recently found. However complicated it was, the journey of discovering what the two of them could truly be given the chance, was worth whatever pain would come their way. One was never happy without the other. So despite the hardships of fighting to stay together, it would surely pale in comparison to the loneliness of an easy life.  
  
Logan responded without taking his eyes off Max. "Not for a few more minutes." He smiled, grateful for the understanding written on her face. "I got you a little present." Logan said as he reached in his pocket for a neatly wrapped package.  
  
With a teasing grin, Max inquired as she took the gift from Logan's hands. "What is this for?"  
  
So Max didn't remember after all. Logan wondered if she would, but wasn't surprised of Max's unawareness of the special occasion. It was one year ago that day when they saw each other again after years of separation. One year ago when Max walked back into Logan's life and took his breath away. One year ago since he started living for not a moment before then did he know what that had truly meant. One year ago when he found meaning in his life; when he gave a damn not only because of himself but because he loved someone else and she was not a million miles away.   
  
"It's an anniversary gift of some sort." With Max's blank expression, he explained. "You've been here in Seattle for a year now." He smiled sheepishly, as if embarrassed that the fact was important enough to be remembered.  
  
Max's heart gave a painful tug. She wasn't surprised of Logan's thoughtfulness. No, not at all. But she couldn't believe that she was special enough in his life that he would remember a little thing like that. Then again, it always was the little things that ever counted.   
  
"Thank you." Max whispered sincerely as she tried to steal her gaze away from Logan's face. Concentrating on the gift she held, she carefully tugged on the ribbon and peeled the wrapper to reveal a most breathtaking sight. It was a candid photo of her and Logan at a company Summer picnic. Max was wearing a casual white tank top with her hair tied in a pony tail and Logan had a stripped polo shirt on. She was smiling at someone and Logan was turned towards her as he wiped a smudge off her cheek. The picture was laminated in a simple handcrafted wooden frame.   
  
Max had a million pictures of herself and Logan together, both from childhood and from press conferences they held. There was nothing special about the piece of photo that was making her misty eyed. It was one like any other. Yet it was the most precious thing she owned. Because it came from Logan. Because it represented a moment that all others should be. The two of them happy. And carefree. And playful. And together. Yeah, together.  
  
Max looked up at Logan and as if under some gravitational spell, their lips were drawn together to share a sweet soft kiss. A kiss that could have turned passionate if Max hadn't broken free. Directing her eyes on the telephone indicating Sebastian's call, then returning her gaze back at Logan, Max said. "This will wait, right?"  
  
Logan, being a gentleman, took one of Max's hand in his. As he brushed his thumb to trace her elegant fingers, he replied, "We have all the time in the world."  
  
  
**6 days later**  
  
  
Max shuffled papers and reports on her desk as she tried to run Biotech single handedly. Logan had been so busy with EO and looking for Manticore's address that all the responsibilities of publishing their journals were laid in Max's hands. The world, after all, did not stop revolving so it could wait for Logan and her to sort out their problems.   
  
Max's door opened and she looked up, expecting to see Logan with the Chinese food they ordered for lunch. It had become a ritual between the two of them to eat together. No matter how limited time was, they always found a way to be together. To remind themselves of what they were fighting for. A chance to be together and discover what the two of them could be as one fulfilled a role in the other's life that no other could. Not that either needed a reminder for they both just needed to close their eyes, and all the reasons in the world came freely flooding in. Picture after picture of how the past was, and how the future could be, and what was between the two of them came to their minds. A picture of the two of them in each other's arms instinctively knowing that the reason for being put on this earth was for that absolute moment and other moments such at that.  
  
To Max's surprise, it was Sebastian who walked in. "Hey Max, sorry to interrupt."  
  
Max dismissed Sebastian's apology as nonsense and indicated for him to sit down. Speaking to her secretary over the intercom, she said "Can you please hold my calls." Max didn't wait for a reply before she disengaged; she knew she still had some 10 other calls waiting for her.   
  
"So what's up?" Max tried to smile but it couldn't quite reach her eyes for Sebastian's face spelled bad news. Poor guy, he seemed to always find himself as the bearer of such news lately.  
  
"Max, I know it's not my place to say anything that Logan might want to keep silent for now. So I just came here to state an obvious fact." When Max didn't reply, Sebastian continued. "We both know that something bad is going to happen if you're not back in Greece by tomorrow in the event that we don't find Manticore's address." Hesitantly, Sebastian added, "Max, we're no closer in finding the address as we were a week ago. Logan and everyone at EO have been working hard on this and we won't give up, but... but... Logan will never say this, and I hate saying it myself, but we might not get the address by tomorrow, Max. I'm sorry, but I think you should know."  
  
Sebastian's statement felt like a piercing arrow that splattered her heart. Max had been so preoccupied with Logan and with work that she had escaped thinking about the consequences of battling against her uncle. The truth was, she was so happy being happy that she was unconsciously pretending that everything would work out. She didn't want to deal with those consequences so she managed to steer them away from her thoughts. She felt like she had been slapped on the face because she was so self-indulgent to notice the blow coming. Her uncharacteristic optimism had gotten the better of her. What happened to that cautious, objective, rational woman that was her? She fell in love.  
  
Max stared helplessly at a blank spot in space. Sebastian, sensing the despair that came over Max, stood up and silently walked out, giving Max the time and solitude she needed to sort out how she was going to deal with the future.  
  
***  
  
Max's hand hovered over the phone, debating with herself whether she should make the call or not. Was it fair to involve more people in her uncle's conniving scheme? No it wasn't. But she was desperate. She didn't want to go back to Greece. She never wanted to leave Logan's side again, they had already wasted so much time apart and fighting off each other. It had taken them their whole lifetimes to be at the stage where they were now and she didn't want to delay it any further.  
  
Reluctantly dialing the number, Max waited anxiously for a response. After 3 rings, a familiar male voice answered "Hello?"  
  
Giving a sigh of relief that it was who she expected it to be, Max said "Zack. Hey. It's me."   
  
Zack forgot all else that was preoccupying him a few moments before and focused all his attention to Max. It was such a pleasant treat to hear her voice that he missed the anxiety that accompanied the greeting. "Hey Max! How are you?! I'm so glad you called."  
  
"Ummm...not so good Zack. That's why I'm calling...things...things aren't going too well and...and I need your help." Max started, unsure if it was wise to take advantage of her friendship with Zack. He had always been there for her. Supporting her without asking anything in return except for her friendship and a promise that she would let him love her even if she didn't love him back. She granted him the friendship, but she discouraged the love. Yes, she did love Zack, but not in the romantic way he wanted. She knew she never could; heart's home was with someone else. She saw that now. Zack deserved better than an unrequited love.   
  
"What's the matter Maxie?" Zack asked, his genuine concern evident. Murderous thoughts about Logan came forming in his mind as he jumped into conclusions that Logan was the cause of Max's distress.  
  
Max explained her uncle's attempt to get her back to Greece by blackmailing Logan about his knowledge of a secret government facility called Macticore. She told him that the only way she could stay in Seattle was to find Manticore's address.   
  
A red alert flashed and warning bells rang off in Zack's ears. Choosing his words carefully, "How do you think I can help you Max?"  
  
Max sighed. There was no point in denying what she knew. "You were my uncle's research assistant Zack. You knew things no one else in the lab did so he will never let you out of his crutches. Even if under pretense you're working some place else, I know you're still working for my uncle. Now my uncle knows the inside dealings of this Manticore facility and I'm sure you do too." Hurriedly, Max added "I know you'll be breaking confidence Zack. I hate myself for putting you in this position, but all my life, I've never been happy. But now it looks like that I might be. With Logan. I love him Zack. I wanna give us a chance. Please, will you help me?"  
  
So Max knew after all. She might not had known all the details, but she got the gist right. Zack was indeed working for Lydecker as an undercover geneticist for the said government facility. Zack had to give Max credit for her perceptiveness, but would he throw away everything he worked hard for so that she could be happy? Yes he would. He would do that and so much more. But never if that meant losing her to someone else. Right? Max was his, whether she knew it or not. Zack had love Max since the first time he saw her on the beach with that defiant condescending mocking grin on her face. The questions was, did he love her enough to give her up and let her be happy with someone else?   
  
Zack was doomed. He would lose Max either way. If not to Logan, then to herself. If he supplied the address she needed, Max would go back to Logan and love him as she claimed she wanted to do. If he didn't then Max would never forgive him for failing her.   
  
At least, if Zack chose the latter, Max would not be with Logan. She may hate him, but time heals everything. And one day, she might realize that Zack was the man for her. So it looked like his decision was made. He wanted Max too much to let her go. Right? Right.   
  
Then why did he feel ashamed for saying this? "I'm sorry Max, I can't help you." Why was his heart breaking as he denied happiness to the woman he loved? Why did he get the feeling that he would regret ever saying those seven simple words? Because he knew that he would never have Max now because she deserved a better man than he ever could be.   
  
Before Zack could take his decision back, Max had already hung up after saying a quick "I understand. Good bye Zack."  
  
***  
  
For a man whose death sentence was written for the next day, Logan was relatively calm. Max wanted to stay with him, and for Logan, that was the only thing that mattered. She wanted him. She wanted him. She wanted him. No matter how many times he said it, it never failed to elicit that wonderful warming effect it had on his heart.   
  
Logan knew he had friends who could protect him, at least for a little while longer than Lydecker's given time frame. Hopefully, that time would be enough to ensure that Lydecker could never take Max away from him. Logan couldn't lose her again, not now after knowing what she felt for him. Though she hasn't professed eternal love, Logan knew that is where they were heading if given the chance to let what they had blossom.   
  
"Logan?" Max called out as she entered Logan's penthouse. She asked him to meet her there for dinner; although the meal wasn't the only thing Max had in mind. She needed some privacy to tell Logan what she had finally decided to do about her uncle.   
  
"In here Max." Logan yelled out from the kitchen as he stirred the sauce for his pasta tricolore. In stressful times such as these, cooking was one of the ways that Logan was able to keep his sanity.   
  
Max smiled as she walked in the eating area, captivated by Logan's sight. He wasn't doing anything that he'd never done before, but now, everything was taking on a new and different meaning in light of the fact that he wanted her. That she made him happy. That maybe, just maybe, he loved her too.   
  
"Smells good." She teased, a smile forming on her lips. He was cooking for her, and not just because it was convenient to cook for two. He was doing it because he wanted to. Because it was her.   
  
Max grabbed a seat as the two of them tried to eat normally, as if everything was perfect in the world. You look beautiful Max. Thank you. There's a play a want to take you to. I'd love to go. Come try this. Hmmm...yummy. Can you pass me that please? Here you go. We'll clean up tomorrow. I don't mind. Let's go dance. I'll go put the music on.   
  
"Logan, I need to discuss something with you." Max said as she disentangled herself from Logan's embrace after the music ended. She immediately felt a sense of loss as she stepped away from him, so she wrapped her arms around herself to keep from shivering.  
  
"Alright." Logan took a seat and Max took the opposite chair, just a few inches away from him. The closeness they now shared was starting to be needed as much as breathing was.   
  
Max sighed as she tried to tell Logan of her decision to leave the next day to confront her uncle. It was such a hard task; she didn't want to go at all. But it seemed that for far too long, escaping had been her chosen way of dealing with her problems. First, she left Greece to get away from her uncle. Then, a year had now passed yet she had always managed to stall in asking Logan why he never came back for her. Now, she was escaping again. She couldn't keep on running from her past because it would eventually catch up with her and hurt her even more.   
  
Max needed to confront it, starting with her uncle. She needed to make him understand that he couldn't control her life anymore. Then, Max would confront Logan about their past. She wanted him to be her future, but the past would surely be something that would eventually come up and tear them apart if she let it lay dormant despite the fact that she was burning with curiosity to find out what his reasons were.   
  
Yes, Max needed to go back to Greece. But there was no easy way to tell Logan without making him doubt of her sincerity when she proclaimed that she wanted to stay with him. Whatever they had was so precious and special to them both but it was still so new and volatile; even if the feelings run as deep as the blood that gave them life.   
  
Max stood up and faced out the window, it was easier to say it without seeing the hurt that would surely cross Logan's attractive features. "I..." She started saying the words but they wouldn't come to her. She just couldn't do it. As if by some unconscious will, she couldn't let herself.  
  
"Max, what is it?" Logan asked expectantly as he came up and stood behind her, willing her to turn around to face him.  
  
Logan's presence invaded Max's space, she was not aware of anything else except for him. Yet she didn't mind at all. Only now there was no way for her to tell him as he gazed at her so lovingly. Yes, she would admit that now. He looked at her with so much love that it was impossible to even try denying that. She felt his gaze sweep her off her feet and transport her in a world of sensations so delightful she never wanted to leave. How could she ever tell him she was leaving? No, not now.  
  
Max couldn't bear the sight of Logan hurting. But what she couldn't bear more was to refuse him if he ever asked her to stay. But what scared her terribly was the fact that he needed not ask at all. All he needed to do was say 'No' and she wouldn't ever go.   
  
Max smiled. "Nothing Logan. I just miss this. We've been having take-out for the past week and we've been so busy that I guess I just wanted some alone time with you." Yes, that was it. Logan would find out soon enough why she asked for this special night. He'd find out in the morning when he found the letter she would leave him. It wouldn't hurt any less, but at least she wouldn't be there to witness him in pain; pain that she caused him.  
  
A/N: The next chapter is 80% done, so you won't have to wait 2 months for it ; ) 


	17. Part 16: Magic

A/N WARNING: I hope that none of you will find anything here offensive. I tried my best to write this with taste, but it still contains sexual contents. If you are offended with this kind of material, please DON'T READ the part when the lyrics of the song changes. "Take me to your heart." is the first line, so when you see this, please be warned.   
  
RATING only for Part 16: R?  
  
A/N: I'm really good with criticisms, but this isn't beta-ed because I don't think I can take it for this one. So please don't flame me in your reviews if you think that I did a bad job, I don't think my poor heart can take it. Eck...I've never written anything like this before, it's kind of nerve wracking ((bites lip)). (You can e-mail me criticisms, and I'll read them, just word them nicely please)  
  
Disclaimer: "Gotta Believe in Magic" belongs to David Pomeranz  
  
*Part 16**  
  
***  
Gotta believe in magic  
Tell me how two people find each other  
In a world that's full of strangers  
Gotta believe in magic  
Something stronger than the moon above  
Coz it's magic when two people fall in love  
***  
  
  
Sleep escaped Max that night. She felt so helpless as she stood watching the silhouette of buildings against the dark night sky. It was the same sight she had seen every time she looked out into the night, the same world from a distance. But she herself knew how deceiving that was. That world she was looking at consisted of people with their own problems, disappointments and triumphs. Five billion people. Five billion strangers trying to get on with this thing called life.   
  
And Max was just one of those people. She was part of that whole. She shouldn't even matter in the midst of five billion others, but somehow, the man in the other room made her feel that she did. She mattered. She was special. She was loved. Logan could have picked any other. But didn't. He picked her. He wanted her.  
  
Max stepped out of Logan's guest bedroom. She used that room so frequently that she had transformed it from something impersonal to something so definitely hers. She felt comfortable sleeping there as she did in her own home. But tonight, she just couldn't.  
  
On her way to the kitchen, Max passed by Logan's room. It was dark inside, but as always, the door was not closed all the way. As tempting as it was, Max had never made her way inside while Logan slept. It was too intimate and that wasn't something she was ever ready for.   
  
But tonight was different. Out of a need that drove her to be close to him in her last few hours in Seattle, Max silently pushed the door open and took a few steps towards the bed. She let her eyes adjust to the darkness so that soon, she was able to see Logan's sleeping form. He was wearing an old shirt and the blanket covered him up to his waist. He slept on the right side of the bed and she chuckled at that fact. What a coincidence, she slept on the left.   
  
Max finally decided to let Logan sleep peacefully, so she tried to walk away. But each step she took propelled her closer to Logan. So she stood there, watching him as he slept, comforted by his deep and even breathing. And as if with no will of her own, Max inched closer to Logan as she took in everything about him. She memorized the lines around his eyes, his beautiful nose, the way he seemed to smile in his sleep. She remembered everything she could and tucked them away for future use, when she was far away and had nothing except the memories of him.  
  
Max felt a few drop of tears on her cheeks. She quickly wiped them away, berating at herself for her silliness. Her heart felt heavy, as if it might burst from the too many emotions it contained. She didn't know that love felt like this. It was difficult to describe because it was still so new. One thing was for sure though; it felt so right. God, she loved Logan so much. Just thinking about the sense of security and contentment she felt in his arms made her want to weep. What did she ever do to be so incredibly blessed to experience this wonderful feeling?   
  
Max wanted to be close to Logan, to cherish him, to make him so happy. More tears fell as Max realized the intensity of her feelings. She wanted to take Logan and make herself his whole world. She wanted to hold him, be connected to him, bury herself in his essence that she knew nothing else but him.  
  
***  
Gotta believe in magic  
Tell me how two people find each other  
In a world that's full of strangers  
Gotta believe in magic  
Something stronger than the moon above  
Coz it's magic when two people fall in love  
***  
  
Logan's eyelids fluttered open as he sensed someone sharing his presence in the room. Making out the other figure, Logan immediately bolted up with concern as he saw tears spilling on Max's angelic face. "Hey Max, what's wrong?"  
  
Nothing. Everything is perfect because I'm with you. "Oh, nothing." Max said as she tried to pull away when Logan reached for her arm. It was too late though because pulling away from Logan was like fighting gravity. She just couldn't do it.  
  
"Then why are you crying?" He said as he pulled her beside him on the bed. Max had been through so much, she deserved nothing less than be happy all her life.  
  
Because I love you so much. "I don't know." Max replied, but Logan didn't buy it, so she continued. "I've just been really happy the past several days". And tomorrow would be the end of that. "I guess I'm just not used to it."  
  
Logan gently run his hand back and forth along Max's back. "Well, get used to it because I'm planning to make you happy for the rest of your life." And as the scenario dictated, his lips formed the three words that Logan had been waiting forever to tell Max. Looking into her eyes and cupped her chin, making sure she understood the full intensity of his declaration, Logan said. "I love you Max."  
  
And that was it. Tear after tear spilled from Max's eyes. She couldn't do anything else but hug Logan in a tight embrace and bury her face on the crook of his neck. He loved her. And he said it too. Max held on tighter to help ground herself back to reality. For a moment, she thought she entered the land of her childhood dreams. Max felt a soft kiss on the top of her head and heard the beating of Logan's heart against her breast. She put a palm over his heart, as if to claim that it was hers. Slowly, Max lifted her gaze and saw a shimmer in Logan's blue eyes. Attempting a smile, she whispered, "I love you too Logan."  
  
***  
Gotta believe in magic  
Tell me how two people find each other  
In a world that's full of strangers  
Gotta believe in magic  
Something stronger than the moon above  
Coz it's magic when two people fall in love  
***  
  
Logan and Max always shared an intimate distance, but neither had ever crossed the boundaries that distinguished lovers and close friends. Their connection and love was felt in every plane of their being that the emotional connection of their souls took precedence of the physical act.   
  
It was always enough to just be in close proximity of the other. In fact, that was more than what fate had destined for them. If not for their strong wills, they wouldn't have been in the same country, let alone be allowed to touch and kiss, as they seemed to be doing a lot of lately.  
  
To touch. And kiss. It was enough. To be in each other's arms was more than what they had ever thought they would have.  
  
But not tonight. Tonight, Max needed to express feelings she didn't know she was capable of having until Logan brought them out of her. Instincts were guiding her now, because not in a million years could she find the way to rationalize the overwhelming love she felt for him.  
  
Max stood in front of Logan and settled herself between his legs, their knees touching. She wanted to show Logan the feelings she couldn't find the words to say.  
  
She touched his cheek to say that she cared.  
  
She kissed his lips to say that she loved him.  
  
She pressed against his body to tell him she was his. Forever.  
  
Such tender gestures of love.  
  
Given. Received. Returned.  
  
"Are you sure Max?" Logan whispered.  
  
Max pulled Logan close to her and she let him listen to the beating of her heart. The heart that belonged to him. She held him between her breast as she rested her cheek on the top of his head. She had never been so sure of anything in her life.   
  
Max needed to love Logan tonight. To show him how she felt. To comfort him for the days ahead. To tell him how sorry she was for not being brave enough to tell him that she was leaving. But most of all she needed this for herself. To give her strength to journey into her past.  
  
**Rating Change**  
***  
Take me to your heart  
Tell me where to start  
Let me play the part of your first love  
All the stars are right  
Every wish is ours tonight, my love  
***  
  
Max gave Logan a teasing grin; inviting him, being playful with him. He grinned back as he pulled her down to sit on his lap, her feet dangling at the side. Their lips were now on the same level, and both were painfully aware of the fact. Logan saw the sparkle in Max's eyes as she parted her lips in anticipation for his kiss. Receiving her invitation, he closed in the distance between them and locked his lips with hers. She tasted so sweet, so delectably Max.   
  
Max braced herself on Logan's shoulders as delightful sensations began to assault her senses. Her head was starting to spin so she was grateful when Logan steadied her. He reached behind the back of her head and let his fingers get tangled with her hair. He then tilted his head to the side and their kiss grew even deeper, their tongues now dancing with each other. There was fire brewing underneath the soft caresses that their lips were engaged in. It was a secret promise of the magic to come.  
  
Max felt both of Logan's hands slowly caressing her back, going lower and lower until they settled on her hips. The electricity of his touch made her groan with helpless need. Without warning, Logan gently cupped her bottom and lifted her to him so that her knees were on his side and her thighs were straddling him.  
  
For long moments they simple touched in unison with their kiss. Logan caressed Max, starting from her beautiful face to the small of her back. His fingers travelling up and lightly grazing the side of her breast and resting there. Max, hoping to give Logan the same pleasure he was so generously providing for her, pressed closer to him. Making contact with the warmth of his body, she let her fingers roam his back, his arms, his hips, and that sensitive spot behind his neck that sent him shivering every time.  
  
Logan couldn't take his eyes off Max when she took the hem of her tank top and pulled it up to rid herself of the barrier that stood between the two of them. She then helped him take his shirt off, sharing a smile with him as she did so. Logan's hand went on top of Max's when she tried to pull her pajamas down. Before letting her do so, he leaned down and took one of her breasts in his mouth, sending her reeling in a place she'd never known before. Logan took his sweet time making her feel so incredibly good. He then took her other breast, loving it and tasting it as every single one of his tongue's caress shot directly to her core, causing a warm pool to tide between her thighs.   
  
Logan could feel himself grow harder as he heard the moans that escaped from Max's lips. So guiding her hands, he took the rest of her clothes off, and soon, all of his followed Max's clothes on the floor.   
  
***  
I may never know  
Why I need you so  
All I need to know is this feeling  
Handle it with care  
We were born to share this dream, my love  
***  
  
" I love you Max." Logan whispered as he gloried in the sight of Max on his bed, lying down on her back as he rested between her legs. The moon shone through the windows and highlighted her flushed naked flesh. He had never seen anyone as breathtakingly beautiful as her.   
  
"I love you too Logan." The passion and love evident in the way Logan looked at Max made her float up in space.  
  
With a possessive need and an overwhelming love, Logan gripped Max's hips gently, all so sweetly, and soon they became one. Max felt Logan filling her and leaving her wanting for more. "Please Logan." She heard herself say as her insides clutched on, taking Logan in and making him a part of her.  
  
Logan watched Max as he united with her, his body finally meeting it's lifetime mate. He reveled at that feeling. She was his. His Max. Logan felt Max pulling him down for tender kisses; kisses that immediately turned fiery as their bodies begged for more.  
  
Both laboring for breath, they pressed closer together, needing to feel the other's warmth, unconsciously needing to possess and be possessed. Logan buried into Max as deeply as she would take him, letting her feel him in sweet and deliberately slow strokes. He showered kisses on the side of her lips, on the tip of her nose, and on her eyelids which were closed tightly as an instinctive attempt to heighten the sensations she felt. Max wrapped her legs around Logan's, inviting him to give her more. She met him as each thrust went deeper and faster, answering Logan as his heart beckoned hers.   
  
"Oh god, Logan." Max sought Logan's touch. She needed him to fill her. She wanted him so much.   
  
"Max...I need you." Logan whispered in ragged breaths as his body seemed to have an accord of its own. He followed its dictates as he sought to be closer to Max. The feel of her quivering under his touch as he imprinted himself on her made his soul soar and reach to make the universe right.   
  
  
Time stopped, perfection reigned.   
Twilight of stars danced in the darkened sky,   
giving light to two forms now one.   
A gush of cold wind blew in, mingling with heated and sensual air.   
All else disappeared, except the rhythmic movements of shadows in the candle light.   
Tides from the deep sea swept away past and future lives,   
leaving only the pleasures of now.   
Butterflies flew around, pretty circles above the light,   
protecting to keep the haven built on love.  
  
  
The need Max felt was as compelling as the love. She was so close, laying herself vulnerable in Logan's hands. She held on to him for life as he flew her away in a high, almost unreachable place where their destinies took form. Her mind was senseless as blissful ecstasy claimed her, her body shuddering in response as it fought the powerful landing back to earth.  
  
Logan felt Max's tremors and let himself get consumed by the same blinding light that just took Max. When the world cleared away into sight, and his breathing no longer a gasp, Logan rolled over to get his weight off Max. Bringing her to him, she now lay secure in his arms, almost drifting off to sleep, yet still aware of the beating of his heart.   
  
***  
Gotta believe in magic  
Tell me how two people find each other  
In a world that's full of strangers  
Gotta believe in magic  
Something stronger than the moon above  
Coz it's magic when two people fall in love  
*** 


	18. BLOOPERS

A/N: I apologize for not posting. I know I said middle of December, but school is so hectic, and I'm applying for grad school so I have extra work on top of essays and exams. I'm so sorry for not posting for a long time. I know you're all waiting. I just wanted to say that I WILL finish this story. There are only 3 chapters left I think. No matter how long it takes, as long as you all still leave me reviews to let me know that you're still reading, I reassure you all that I'll finish this. : ) I've gotten really thoughtful and sweet reviews for the last post. I am eternally grateful. The criticisms were most appreciated too : )  
  
I don't know when the next chapter will be, but Christmas break is coming, I'll hopefully have time then. But I have two jobs right now (I'm a poor student) so I won't promise anything.   
  
Since I can't just have author's notes....I decided to post some BLOOPERS! These are stuff that never made it to the final posts for one reason or another. Just some fun M/L banter. I don't know how good they are, I mean, there's a reason why I cut them out : p   
  
and means dialogue.  
// and // means thoughts  
  
**************************************************************************************  
After days of trying, Logan finally broke the ice of formality.  
  
« I feel like having chinese food tonight. » he stretched his arms over his head and yawned.  
  
Max didn't like where this was going, « I'm sure the people at Peiking Garden would love to hear that. »  
  
« I haven't seen your new loft yet. » Logan tried again.  
  
Uh oh. « Nothing there to see, just a big box with furniture and stuff. »  
  
//Max don't make this so hard.// Logan silently whined.  
  
« And my baby. »   
  
//Thank you// « So I finally get to see your motorcycle. » And how he envied the damn thing !   
  
Max stared at Logan and calculated him for a second. What did he want this time? It certainly wasn't her. Obviously he found her pretty, all men did and she didn't expect Logan to be immune. But what else ? Hmmm ? Nothing. She still couldn't read him. So, her last futile attempt, « I can't cook. »  
  
« I can ! »  
  
Max gave in, just as long as Logan didn't make a habit of inviting himself in. « Fine. I'll stop by Chinatown after work, be in the lobby by 7:30. »  
  
Grinning like an idiot, «Great ! »  
  
« Whatever Logan. »  
  
**************************************************************************************  
  
Except for water, milk, cucumber, oatmeal and eggs, Max's kitchen was spotless and empty. Give or take one second, Logan was convinced that Max could tell him the best and fastest food delivery service in the city.  
  
He surveyed the contents of the grocery bags ; soy sauce, noodles, honey, chicken, bean sprouts, carrots, rice, spices, beef, canola oil, tofu and some fruits.  
  
« Nice. » So Max had a sense on what to buy.  
  
« What ? Did you say something. » Max reappeared wearing comfy jeans and a black tight tank top that showed her midriffs.  
  
//Huh ? What ? Ohh.// Reality finally struck him after his hormones momentarily took control of all his senses. « I said what would you want for dinner ? »  
  
« Whatever you can make with what I bought. Hope it's enough. » Max reminded herself to smile later when Logan wasn't looking. So it was nice to be admired. //You like that huh ?//  
  
Going through recipes in his head, « Okay, how about some chicken, fried rice and beef chow mein ? »  
  
« Sounds good, so how long is it gonna take ?» After Logan finally talked Max into having him over, she got a *little* excited about eating a home cooked meal. She hadn't had one of those in a while.  
  
« About thirty minutes. » Logan turned on the stove and started looking for knives and pans.  
  
Max slumped on a seat and pouted, « That long ? ».   
  
Pouting her lips had been young Max's secret weapon, she did it and Logan feel on his knees to please her. He never liked seeing her sad or watching her cry, although he occasionally liked getting her mad so he could woo her back. He had been so sure that he would eventually get immune to the whole pouting act but seeing the adult Max do it again made it look ... seductive. Oh he was doomed.  
  
« Would it make it faster if I helped chopping those vegies ? » Max leaned closer to Logan to get a closer look.  
  
« Maybe. » He handed her some carrots, but not before her sweet scent tickled his nose.  
  
***  
  
Max watched as Logan added the soy sauce and honey to the tenderized chicken. She had herself convinced that the only reason she's keeping an eye on Logan was because she didn't want him snooping around her unit, as he did earlier in the living room.  
  
« Smells good. » Max dipped her index finger inside the jar of honey and silently sucked on it.  
  
Logan inhaled deeply, pretending to smell the food. Max was standing way too close and his testosterone was acting up again. If worse comes to worse and he started having heart palpitations and shivers, he could always feign nausea due to hunger.   
  
Max reached for something on the table and sat on the counter beside the stove. Logan watched her as she dipped a strawberry inside the honey jar and popped the whole thing in her mouth.   
  
« Mmmm. Sweet ! » She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand as some juice squirted out when she spoke. She then took another strawberry, covered it again with honey and this timed popped it into Logan's mouth. She did it so casually and so innocently, Logan wondered if she even knew she did it.  
  
Max was tempted to bite on half of a strawberry and offer the other half to Logan, as she had done with boyfriends from the past. She jumped out of the counter as soon as she thought the idea. She wouldn't want to make a fool of herself. She already had her guard down low enough to feed him, thankfully he didn't say anything.  
  
//Why did you have to buy those strawberries in the first place ? !? !//  
  
**************************************************************************************  
  
"You're kidding me?!?" Logan mumbled in disbelief at Sebastian's statement over the phone. His fingers then went flying over the keyboard as Sebastian supplied him the password they had long been trying to crack.  
  
"...0..4..5..6..8..8..7. Did you get all that?" Sebastian couldn't contain his excitement. This last project for EO had taken up a lot of his and Logan's time. They had been working on it around the clock, trying to uncover a government secret involving the US Military and Defense.  
  
"Got it!" Logan stared at his computer as it showed the complete funding list for all government agencies in the West Coast.  
  
"I can't believe it! We actually have the list." Logan grabbed a disk to download their precious information.  
  
"LOGAN! What the heck are you still doing?!? I've been waiting for you for over half an hour!" Logan's childish grin was quickly replaced by a grimace as Max reprimanded him. She slammed shut the door and waltzed her way over to Logan's desk with both hands on her hips.   
  
"Sorry Max." Logan's shoulders bolted up higher as an instinctive body defense. "Five more minutes, ok?" He pleaded, not bothering to cover the phone's mouth piece.  
  
"Fine, five minutes. But that's all you're getting!." Men! Max thought as she slumped back on one of Logan's couches, waiting for him to finish his conversation. She then lazily picked up a magazine to occupy her time.  
  
"That was Max." Logan informed Sebastian who was trying to suppress a chuckle. Max had such power over Logan, it was pathetic!  
  
"Yeah, I can tell. Anyway, all we need to do is match up the missing money to the unaccounted sources in the list." Sebastian quickly forgot about Max and Logan's domestic squabbles.  
  
"Right, we could probably start with firearms and missile departments. Split up the vicinities in 5 and have your guys work on three." Logan offered, strategic possibilities were flying around his head so fast, he was on fire.  
  
Max initially pretended to be consumed with the magazine when she really was paying attention to Logan. It was rare that he gave her privy for his top secret EO projects. But she soon tuned out with all the talk about missiles and weapons. Nothing had changed since the beginning of time, men would still jeopardize their semi-justified existence for war and disorder. She couldn't understand Logan's fascination on stirring up things in Washington, the man just couldn't let things be. No, he had to dig and search for "wrong" and corrupt things with society. The privilege of bored, rich, liberal men. Max glanced at her wristwatch, seeing that fifteen minutes had already passed and Logan was still on the phone, conveniently forgetting that she was wasting her time waiting for him.  
  
Max stood up and without warning, grabbed the phone resting between Logan's shoulder and cheek.   
"Hi Sebastian? Logan has got to go now ok? Call him Monday morning. No not this week-end, we're going with the kids from the Arcade to a family estate up North. No, not the cabin. There's no phone there, ok bye."  
  
Seeing Logan's lower jaw hang open in shock, Max put two fingers below his chin to help him close his mouth. "Let's go Logan.", Max simply said with a sweet saccharine smile, as if what she had done was a polite regular occurrence.  
  
"Max, that was rude." Logan snapped as he recovered. She was doing it to him again, walking all over him as if he would just let her.  
  
"No, Logan, what's rude is you making me wait for forty five minutes." Max glared at him.  
  
"Oh, sorry." Damn, that was the second time he apologized to her in less than thirty minutes. No explanations to defend himself, no arguments, nothing! The man needed help.  
  
Logan mutely followed Max to his car on their way to the Arcade Community Centre. It was a children's organization that Biotech generously funded. All its employees, due to Logan's insistence, had to volunteer one day of each month to spend time with homeless and poor children.   
  
Logan did an article on homelessness when he was in university and from his research, he became aware of the problems that faced the youth of America. A lot of them were living below the poverty line, with little or no hope of getting out of the vicious cycle of welfare and unemployment. Most had single mothers who were barely adults themselves, having had gotten pregnant in their teens. The kids would grow up knowing that life revolved around alcohol, drugs and abuse, with no insight that something better was out there in the world. Logan wanted to change that, he needed to change that. He devoted a lot of his time at the Arcade, inspiring young children to see the strength within themselves and dare to have better lives. He continued to do so despite his current busy schedule. Max, being the other CEO of Biotech, had no choice but to comply and support Logan's public service. She had resigned to convince herself that she was playing nice with the little squealing brats because it was good for Biotech's public image.  
  
But that wasn't true. Max had seen first hand the difference it made in the children's lives. A day each month wasn't a lot, it wasn't a perfect solution, it wouldn't all of a sudden make everything better. But it was something, and it was enough. Those children were offered another option. They were given hope. It was still up to them to take it, but the fact that something was there where nothing had been before was a step away from the downhill spiral of poverty.  
  
"I hope Celine and Nicholas fit in the skates I got for them." Max commented, breaking the silence as she and Logan drove to the Arcade.  
  
"Yeah, the lake should be frozen by now, it'll be good." Logan searched for a parking space and found one across the street from the rundown building that housed the Arcade.  
  
"You need to do something about that building Logan, it's falling apart." Max took her seatbelt off and looked outside for oncoming cars.   
  
"I have no say as to how they spend Biotech's donation, Max. I think Asha decided the money is better spent on the programs than the building. I see nothing wrong with that." Asha was a social worker who managed the Arcade.  
  
Asha could do nothing wrong in Logan's eyes. Just the mere mention of the woman's name sent Max's blood boiling. "Of course.", Max tried not to sound too sarcastic, but Logan caught the edge in her voice. He ignored it, choosing wisely to stay away from whatever issue Max had with Asha.  
  
"Ok, I'll go get the kids, wait for us here." Max crossed the street as soon as traffic permitted her. She opted to go inside herself and brave Asha instead of waiting in the car and imagining how Asha was trying to lure Logan.   
  
Arrgh, Max hated her. She was like a leech, trying to get close to Logan all the time. It made Max sick thinking of Logan having a relationship with that woman. No that wasn't fair. It made her sick thinking about Logan with ANY woman. But that wasn't the point. Asha was just plain annoying, not to mention a hypocrite. She'd smile at Max in front of the kids but back stab her as soon as she turned around.  
  
"Max!!!!! You're here!!!!" A little girl with blond curly hair and blue sparkling eyes run up to Max and threw her arm around Max's waist.  
  
"Hey Celine! How's my favorite boo?" Max bent down to pick Celine up to deposit her on one hip.  
  
Celine's smile vanished as she tried to make herself look sad. Pouting, she gave the boy who now stood next to Max, an evil look. He was only a couple of years older than Celine, but he stood a good one feet more than she did. "Nicholas pinched me." She declared, vying for Max's affection.  
  
"Ah, poor baby." Max gently rocked Celine whose face was now buried on Max's neck. She then gently wiped away the girl's crocodile tears.  
  
"I didn't pinch her, I swear Max. Even ask Asha, she was there." Nicholas run his fingers through his thick brown hair. Max wouldn't be surprised if he really did pinch Celine, he was a little troublemaker - but she adored him anyway. He had these mischievous brown eyes that Max was sure would be the cause of plenty of girls falling in love with him when he grew up.  
  
Seeing Nicholas stand uncomfortably beside her, Max winked at him, letting him know that she was only playing Celine's game. The little boy visibly relaxed, he didn't want Max to think he would do such a horrible thing.   
  
"Hi Max." Asha greeted Max kindly enough.  
  
"Asha." Max nodded at the blond woman in front of her while making mental notes of the list of things that was wrong with her. Asha definitely needed a new wardrobe. She was wearing a crocheted white top and bright lime green pants, it was hurting Max's eyes. While Asha was getting herself a new wardrobe, she could pick up a new attitude too, a new less annoying facial expression wouldn't hurt either.  
  
"Where's Logan?" God, she didn't even have enough class to be discreet.  
  
"He's outside waiting in the car." Max pointed her head towards Logan's location and Nicholas excitedly run out to see him. Even Celine perked up at the mention of Logan's name because she detached herself from Max's arms to run behind Nicholas.  
  
"I'll help you bring the kids' bags outside." Asha tried picking up a backpack but Max was quick. She got all three bags in her hands before Asha had an excuse to go out and see Logan.  
  
Smiling triumphantly, Max said, "That's not necessary, I got it. Thanks for the thought though." And before Asha could protest, Max was out the door. "I'll tell Logan you said hello."   
  
**************************************************************************************  
A/N To tell you the truth, I don't really HATE Asha. I was just playing with her character : ) 


	19. Part 17: Lessons Learned

A/N I'm glad you liked the Bloopers : ) I have some more, I'll post them after the Epilogue. The first two are from 'Angel Dance'. I decided for them to go to the restaurant instead of Max's place. The last one, I wanted Logan and Max to go near a lake but I took them to Florida instead, it's from 'Irreversible Times'.   
  
It'll be the Epilogue next and that's it for Promises. Thanks for the encouraging reviews, I do appreciate them very much. It makes me so happy to see that 'Review Alert' in my mail : )  
  
I can't seem to get a hold of my betas, so please forgive the mistakes, they're all mine.  
  
  
**Part 17**  
  
~~~ Flashback ~~~  
  
Logan walked back to his car with fisted hands in his pockets. He felt his life slowly drain out of him, literally feeling the muscles in his body go weak. The weight of his leg got heavier with each step. It was like climbing a steep mountain in search of the highest, most glorious peak. Only this time he knew that when he got to the top, the earth would crack beneath him. Gravity would forcefully pull him down, knocking the air out of him and slamming him hard when he finally hit the charcoal black ground. No green grass would welcome him, only emptiness and withered leaves. Signs that life used to be there but was no more. The rain had deserted it, the promise of lovely roses and fragrant air all gone.  
  
Logan got into his rented car and fumbled with the keys until the engine roared to life. He pushed on the gas pedal and watched the needle of the speedometer go from 0 to 10 to 50 to 100 to 140. He kept pushing his foot, his eyes locked on the meter, his hands gripping the stirring wheel as he flew straight on the outstretched road, aware that any moment he would pass by a curve, yet not caring at all.   
  
An almost blinding light and a piercing honk from an oncoming car startled Logan out of his semi-conscious state.  
  
"Fuck!" He murmured as he swiveled out of the other car's lane. He halted by the side of the road, aware of his heart beating so fast, pounding in his ears. Logan turned his head around and realized that Max's house was already out of sight. Then in the silence of the night, something penetrated his self-defense escape mode. He felt something tugging him, like an invisible rope, willing him to go back. It was like all the stars conspired to grant a mortal's wish. Muses were singing in the air, taunting him, whispering 'she's waiting for you'. But Logan knew it was all wishful thinking. Max was his past and nothing more. He heard her say the words.   
  
Logan managed to find his way back to the pier and into an airplane that took him home. The initial shock and disappointment eventually wore off, only to be replaced by the aching sadness around his chest. Sadness that didn't go away with the rise of the sun or the reign of the moon. It was always there. It was his company for hopeless days and bright-less nights.  
  
It didn't make sense. He was so sure that Max would want him to come for her. She made him promise. What went wrong?  
  
"Logan you need to eat." He heard Lisa speak, a maid in the house even before Logan was born.  
  
Logan gave her a questioning look, not comprehending what she said, his thoughts were far away.  
  
"Eat, Logan!" The elderly woman snapped and shook her head. She had seen Logan's heart get broken before. High-society girls would parade him for his looks and dump him when the next rich boy came along. He always shrugged it off. This was different though - it was always better to lose a girlfriend than to lose a childhood friend, especially one that was so intricately connected to him.  
  
"Oh." Logan blinked his eyes and knotted his forehead, as if in pain. As if it hurt for him to move.  
  
"You can move on, or you can keep on moping around here." Lisa said as she took a handful of Logan's shirt and pulled him up. "Deal with this!"  
  
When Logan gave her a blank look, she dragged him to the bathroom and shoved him in the tub.   
  
With a puzzled look, Logan asked "What are you doing?"  
  
"This." Lisa responded, turning the shower on.  
  
Logan yelped in surprise when cold water hit him like a painful blow.  
  
~~ End of Flashback ~~  
  
Logan tightened his grip around Max's body. Hearing her whimper in sleepy contentment, he allowed himself to fall back to sleep. Secure that Max would be there when he woke up in the morning, knowing that never in his lifetime would he lose her again., aware that he would not ever relived those painful days when he thought that he had lost her forever.  
  
Max woke up with a hand over her stomach and a lip pressed on the top of her head. Her whole body was leaning against warmth that she knew she would seek all the days of her life. The feel of Logan next to her was like an intoxicating drug. She was only supposed to have a taste, but she hadn't anticipated how good it would be. And she didn't have the will to stop and deny herself of it.   
  
Leave now! Leave! Leave! Leave!   
  
Untangle your legs from his.  
  
Withdraw from his embrace.  
  
Lift your head from the crook of his neck.  
  
Don't respond to the feel of his chest under your palms.  
  
Stop gazing at his lips.  
  
Push away that gnawing need between your legs.  
  
"I love you Max." Logan said in a soft whisper, his eyes still closed, perhaps dreaming in his sleep.  
  
Max burrowed closer to Logan, her breathing deep, her thoughts heading off to a million directions yet always converging back to the fact that she could never leave him after last night. She would never want to. She didn't belong anywhere else but here. This was perfect. This was right.   
  
Max always wondered what love was all about. Now she knew that it was this. It was a soft kiss on her forehead after their bodies wracked in sweet pleasure. It was Logan taking her hand and pressing the back of it on his cheek, looking into her eyes and pressing his lips on her opened palm. It was holding her close and feeling secure in his arms. It was about being fearless because she knew that at the end of the day, he'd be home waiting for her. It wasn't about the actions though, it was about how Logan made her feel when he did them to her. Loved. She felt loved and she liked it. It made all the tears and broken hearts worth the pain when Logan enveloped her with need, wanting and peace just by looking at her.  
  
Max realized that the key in getting the most out of life was to know what she wanted from it and unquestioningly believe that she deserved it, however hard that may be. And she wanted Logan. She wanted to wake up in his arms every morning. No more asking for permission if she could. No more feeling guilty for wanting it. No more doubting if Logan wanted the same.   
  
She would take and not apologize for doing so.  
  
Max rested her weight on her elbow and looked intently at Logan's face. He slept peacefully like a sated lover. Max shook him a little until he woke up.  
  
"Why didn't you ever come back for me?" She asked.  
  
"Max, what is it baby?" Logan asked, slightly disoriented. He wasn't worried though, the look on Max's face showed no doubt. Only determination and compassion. Her lips were red and made perfectly to fit his. Her hair was tousled, inviting him to run his fingers through them again. Her eyes were big and brown and bright, mirroring the love in his. He wanted to have her again.  
  
"Why didn't you come back for me? You promised that you will." She repeated, her voice soft, knowing that Logan's response would hurt her yet assured that she would love him nevertheless.  
  
Logan closed his eyes and leaned forward to press his forehead against hers. "Oh, Max."  
  
"It's okay Logan, I'm not mad. I just want to know." Max said reassuringly.  
  
With a sigh, Logan looked directly at Max's eyes. "I did Max."  
  
Max frowned, confused. "You what?"  
  
Logan held Max tighter. "I did come for you."  
  
Logan recounted the tale of his visit to Greece. He told Max about her uncle and the words he heard her say.  
  
When Logan finished, Max sat up on the bed, clutching the sheet above her breast. She looked outside and saw the sun starting to rise. It looked like it was going to be a beautiful day. The little light that shone through Logan's window made everything glow with warmth. The bed was soft under her, the covers warm to her touch. Logan's hand was on the small of her back, comforting her, sending electricity to where they joined connected last night.  
  
Her uncle manipulated her. Instead of anger, sadness came over Max. Why would he do such a thing?  
  
"I didn't mean them you know. What I said." Max finally stated, her expression showed acceptance and sorrow. All these years she spent being angry and hurt, and she didn't even have to. What a waste of a good life. "He wouldn't let me go. He knew I'd been waiting for you."  
  
Logan nodded and sat up as well, he positioned himself in front of Max, the sheet covered his lower half. He realized that all his pain was because of a manipulative man. Instead of feeling angry at Lydecker, Logan felt sorry for him. He didn't understand what kind of a man would purposely destroy two young lives. "I'm sorry Max."   
  
"He knew how much it hurt me when each year passed by and you didn't come." Max shook her head, as if in disbelief. She should go over to her uncle and cause him all the pain he did to her. But that thought wasn't appealing, it brought no consolation. She just felt sick and sad, disappointed in humanity's capability for this kind of viciousness. "I'm sorry Logan. He didn't tell me. How could he do it?"  
  
"I don't know." Logan grazed his knuckles on Max's arm, soothing her. There were goosebumps on her skin so he adjusted the blanket to cover her exposed back.  
  
"How could he be so spiteful, Logan?" Instead of settling in the blanket, Max shifted position to sit at his side, swinging her legs over his lap and leaning on his shoulder. He pulled her close, his arm around her waist.   
  
Logan didn't know, but there was one thing he was aware of, "He wants to keep you, Max. I guess in his own twisted way, that's how he loved you."  
  
Finally knowing what love was, Max responded somberly "Keeping someone in chains with a pretense of need isn't love, Logan." Then Max added, "She left him, my aunt. He loved her and she left him. He didn't want me to do the same."  
  
"I thought she died?"  
  
"No." Max simply said. "She left and never came back. He has never been able to find her. Or forget."  
  
***  
  
As soon as Max saw the island from the boat, a nostalgic feeling came over her. The surroundings that greeted her were foreign and familiar at the same time. The mountains looked surreal, she immediately felt the connection she fostered there in her younger years. The water talked to her, it soothed her heart, just as it had done so many times in the past. Logan was quiet beside her, holding her hand.  
  
When the boat reached the pier, Max stepped up and felt the warm air brush her cheeks.   
  
"Do you mind if we walk?" Max asked Logan as she tamed her curly hair behind her ears. She needed time to clear her head.  
  
"No, that's fine Max." Logan offered a supportive smile as he put on his backpack and carried Max's bag. He found out that Max was typically female. She wasn't a light packer, a fact that was made painfully known to Logan after an hour of exhausting walk up hilly paths and half-built roads.  
  
Max noticed Logan lagging behind her, his forehead sheen with sweat. He used his sleeve to wipe his face and Max couldn't help but be smitten by the gesture. Logan was concentrating on his every step, his glasses perched on his nose. He had a look of maturity and dedication. And if her mind wasn't at the task of talking to her uncle, Max would have seduced Logan's sexy self right there and then. She grinned and called out, "Hey, are you okay?"  
  
"I'm alright, " Logan lifted a hand half-way, to reach up further would be too energy consuming.   
  
"Let me carry my bag." She paused and waited for him to catch up.  
  
Logan stopped beside Max, leaned down and gave her a peck on the lips. "Come on, Max. Feed my ego a little and let me do this for you."   
  
Max pressed her lips together. When Logan smiled sheepishly, she burst out laughing. "You think you're cute?"  
  
"No. But apparently, you do." Logan responded, encouraged by Max's playfulness.  
  
Max put a hand on Logan's shoulder and kissed his cheek. Leaning closer to his ears, she whispered, "No. But I do think you're sexy."  
  
Logan had to swallow. Hard. So Max was a tease too. His face lighted up, he liked it!  
  
Max shook her head and walked ahead of Logan again, this time making sure that her hips swayed just a little more for Logan's viewing pleasure.  
  
"Hey!" Logan called out. "Somebody ever tell you you've got moves?"  
  
Without looking back, Max threw out "Yeah. This morning, in fact."  
  
Logan suddenly felt a lot warmer. He blew out a breath. Did she know what she did to him? "Do you know what you do to me?"  
  
Max turned around this time and eyed Logan lustfully. She growled, teasingly "I've got some ideas."  
  
The expression of childlike delight on Logan's face disappeared, clueing Max to the fact that they'd reach their destination. The light mood they shared suddenly dissipated at the sight of Lydecker's house.  
  
Max walked up to the door and punched in the entry code. The receiving room hadn't changed at all. It still looked as flawless as one would find in a magazine. Expensive paintings hung on the wall. The furniture was perfectly arranged and dust free. Max realized how big and empty the place was. It was just a building with rooms, despite its majestic and imposing presence. It wasn't a home like the one she grew up in with her parents where couches had stains and toys lay on the floor.   
  
Max now knew for a fact that people's houses were a reflection of their souls. And she was sad to find that her uncle's reflected a lonely and unlived one.  
  
"Max."   
  
Max turned around and saw her uncle standing by the staircase, a triumphant look on his face. She looked at him with sad eyes and his malicious smile slowly faded.   
  
With a stern voice, Lydecker said, "I expected you to be back alone."  
  
With all the love that Max felt for Logan, she willed herself to see her uncle in a less vindictive light. The lines around his eyes showed his age, the frown on his forehead showed a hardened heart. He didn't know loving and giving and unselfishness like she did. He wasn't lucky enough to have someone to share those with. She pitied him more than anything else.  
  
Throwing away the hatred with every step, Max gave Lydecker a brief hug. "It's nice to be back, I've missed you."   
  
For the first time in his life, Lydecker was speechless.  
  
Max smiled. "Logan and I thought that we should visit you for a little while. I hope you don't mind."  
  
Lydecker still said nothing, silently trying to determine what game Max and Logan were playing. Lydecker's gaze shifted to Logan. The younger man stood his ground, waiting for the elder one's reaction. Lydecker nodded. "Max's room is upstairs, the first door on your left. You can take your bags there."  
  
Logan followed, leaving Lydecker and Max alone.   
  
Max cocked her head to the side. "That wasn't a very nice stunt you pulled. Threatening Logan?"  
  
"You belong here Max, with the Chamber." Lydecker stepped down and walked closer to Max. He said those words out of habit. He needed to give Max a reason to stay. Being with him wasn't enough. He knew that. He wasn't enough. Nobody wanted him.  
  
She shook her head. "No. I belong to Seattle with Logan." Max started feeling defensive so she let out a breath before continuing. "You can't play this game anymore. I have my own life now."  
  
"Your life is with me."  
  
Max softened, fully understanding how emotionally barren and broken her uncle was. "You're a part of my life and I'll always love you." Lydecker's expression changed, like he was surprised to hear her say what she just did.   
  
Taking a leap, Max added. "If you let me have my life with Logan, I promise not to leave you like she did." When she saw Lydecker's barriers slowly breaking, she hurriedly added, "We'll visit you here. And we'll love to have you in Seattle. Always."   
  
Lydecker had a haunted look about him, seeing Max and being reminded of the woman whose eyes had been like hers. "I loved her."  
  
"I'm sorry she hurt you." Max couldn't help but feel her uncle's agonizing struggle with the ghost and memories that plagued him.   
  
It was going to take time, but Max would help him. She would help him pick up the pieces from his past's betrayal. Dealing with the fear and hurt of the past wasn't as hard as letting them eat away present and future lives. Max found that out. Now it was time for her uncle to learn the same.  
  
*****************  
A/N I know some of you might be disappointed with the ending. I didn't want to take this to Sci-Fi so Manticore and the Chamber are just subplots that exist in this AU and will not really be dealt with in this story. I'm sorry if the ending didn't live up to the expectations, especially after 3 months with no new posts. I think it's going to be a shippy fluffy epilogue though, hopefully I can redeem myself.   
  
It felt so good to write this story again. I've forgotten how much I love it. Thanks for giving me a reason to find time to write my DA stuff : ) 


	20. Part 18: Inevitable Moment

A/N: I'm sorry to disappoint some of you with the last chapter, but I'm glad most of you found it mature because that's what I was aiming for. But good or bad, I love getting feedback, thank you so much. I said Part 17 is the last installment but I couldn't wrap everything in the Epilogue so I decided to add another chapter. I hope none of you mind. Besides, I didn't put 'The End' yet, so I'm allowed one more, right? ; )  
  
Recap: Manticore is a covert government facility. Lydecker has been secretly supplying EO with information about it. Logan wants Manticore exposed because it's doing genetic experiments on kids, but he needs the address to do that. Lydecker offered to give Logan the address if Max goes back to Greece. Otherwise, he will let the committee know that Logan is closing in on them, endangering his life. Lydecker works for The Chamber, not Manticore.  
  
Warning: Run away now, sappiness ahead!   
  
PROMISES  
  
**Part 18**  
  
Max entered her old room. Logan was talking on the phone, looking out the same view she had stared at for hours while daydreaming of him. The room's enormous size comforted her on good days and drowned her on bad ones. As always, the white walls and overhanging canopy around the bed looked pristine, the maids still kept everything clean despite her absence. Or maybe her uncle had told them to prepare for her return, confident that he had successfully blackmailed Logan.   
  
Max still didn't understand why her uncle had to connive and be hurtful to get her back. She wouldn't have left in the first place if she was given more freedom and love. If he hadn't dictated how she lived her life, maybe she would still be working with him in the Chamber. Max used to excavate ancient burial sites for her uncle, sequencing mummy DNA to figure out its evolutionary history. It was top secret because Dr. Sandeman discovered a special sequence that didn't have junk DNA. He had run away with it several years ago.   
  
Letting her fingers trail the embroidery on her pillow that spelled her name in graceful letters, Max remembered the number of tears that had spilled on it. Too many. Being in her room brought back plenty of memories, painful if interpreted from a child's point of view. But everything was different now. Being with Logan made everything not matter at all. A wise professor once told her class to make sure that there was something in their lives that made them want to tolerate this dreadful, crazy world. She never understood that advice until now. She had known heart aches. She had also known love. The real kind, the one that explained why men and women searched endlessly for that one right person. Max had always doubted it existed. But not anymore.  
  
"Max?" Logan pushed down his phone's antenna, taking a sit beside her on the bed, his eyes showing concern. "How did it go?"  
  
Shrugging, "My uncle is in his study now, he asked to be left alone. I was right. He didn't want to lose me like he lost her. He was just using everything else as an excuse."   
  
Logan nodded in understanding, entwining his fingers with hers. "That was Sebastian on the phone, somebody e-mailed him the 411 on Manticore. Apparently, a man named Sandeman started it 5 years ago, doing experiments with infantry soldiers. He tracked the e-mail, it's from Wyoming. Do you know why someone from there will be helping us?"  
  
Surprised, Max whispered, "Zack." With the crease on Logan's forehead, she explained. "I asked Zack to help us find the address. I think he's working for Manticore. Dr. Sandeman used to be my uncle's partner until he disappeared. I guess my uncle tracked him down and planted Zack as a spy to figure out what the doctor is up to. "  
  
Realization dawned on Logan. "Oh, so your uncle wanted to destroy Manticore as some kind of a revenge and he was using EO to do it."  
  
Max nodded. "While getting me back in the process. Kill two birds with one stone. Pretty clever, huh?"  
  
With the sad glint in Max's eyes, Logan pulled her close, kissing her forehead. "Well, it's all over now. Thanks to Zack, I've given Sebastian the green light to release Manticore's address to get that place shut down." Max tugged Logan down, both of them lying down, facing each other.  
  
Resting her head against Logan's chest and feeling him against her entire body, "I can't believe Zack risked his cover to help us."  
  
"He cares about you, Max." Logan held her closer, stroking her cheek with a thumb.  
  
She heard the insinuation in his voice. Zack cared more for her than a friend or a brother. There was no insecurity though as Logan stated the fact. There was no need for that. They knew who the other belonged to. Looking up, Max rolled so she now lay on top of Logan. "I love you."  
  
Logan had his arms around Max. Her honesty shook him. He sensed the depths of her feelings in the way she looked at him, its intensity emanating from her deep brown eyes. "I love you too." Logan didn't know how he could love someone this much. He never believed he was capable of such unselfishness. All he wanted was to make her happy despite any cost to himself. But the stars had finally shown them mercy, incurring no cost from either of them.   
  
"Show me." Her words were almost a plea, asking him to feed her life as the exhaustion of the past week claimed her. She needed to be touched, and taken, and given, and loved. She needed to feel alive, only Logan's kiss could give her that. His whispers would sooth her restless heart.  
  
Logan's mouth explored hers, tasting sweet cherries as he gently sucked her bottom lip. Max sighed with contentment, giving in to the pleasures of Logan's touch. Their clothes were taken off, one after the other in tender movements. With Max on her back and Logan on his side, he brushed stray hairs away from her lovely face. With knowledgeable fingers, he carefully traced the line of her arm, up to her shoulder and down to the sweet soft flesh of her breast. With his thumb, he reached for her lips, caressing it, knowing how delicious they tasted against his own. She shivered in response.  
  
When he kissed her again, the fire that always ignited when they were together flared up. Touch me, please... He obliged. Right there... He knew, he knew exactly where she wanted him to go. Logan, I need you... There wasn't anything in the world he needed more than her. I love you... He loved her more. Baby, please... Not yet. Ah... Her body hummed against his. Gasp... Rugged breaths tickled his ear. So good... He wanted to give her more. Don't stop... Nothing could make him. Almost... He gentled his strokes. Please... Then quickened his pace. Harder... Holding her hips, he gave her what she needed. Just like that... She held on to him. Oh, God... She tightened around him. Logan, please... He wanted to prolong the pleasure, for her. Now... She shattered in his arms.   
  
*** Back in Seattle ***  
  
Max came out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped securely above her chest, her hair dripping wet. She headed straight for the closet, slightly upset that she only had a few selection of clothing. She hadn't moved all her belongings at Logan's yet.   
  
Logan saw the frown on Max's forehead. He walked over to her as he adjusted his tie, dropping a kiss on her shoulder. "What's the matter?" He looked at her through the mirror.   
  
"I only have my work clothes here." She pouted. For weeks now, she only needed suits for business functions. The rest of her days were spent wearing almost nothing at all in Logan's arms. She couldn't go over Mrs. Moreno's house with Logan's robe, and his T-shirt that went just below her hips was not appropriate either. This was all his fault. "This is all your fault."  
  
Logan chuckled, loving Max's spoiled child-like manner. He received an angry glare when she turned around. Being the thoughtful man that he was, Logan took Max's hand, kissing it with a mischievous light playing around his blue eyes.   
  
She raised an eyebrow. "What are you up to, Logan Cale?"  
  
He didn't answer but proceeded to take the towel off her. He dried her soft skin gently, planting a kiss on sensitive spots he knew too well. Max insincerely nudged him away, amused by his play. Drying her hair, "I got you a little something," he whispered.  
  
Logan was always getting her little somethings, so this was not a surprise. Roses he placed on her tray for breakfasts in bed. Bracelets and necklaces, all hand made by the little girl selling them in his lobby, not worth anything more than the thread they were made of, meaning more to her than anything in the world. Max, however, had a feeling that this time, the little something was somewhat more special. "Oh, yeah?"  
  
Grinning, "Yeah."  
  
"Well, let's see it." She waited as he got the present from his hiding place. She made a mental note to have him out with the boys so she could search the penthouse for the inconspicuous space that eluded her. He returned with a coral white dress that flared at the bottom.   
  
Logan kissed her opened mouth. "Do you like it?" He knew she did.  
  
She smiled, nodding. "Very much." She twirled around after putting it on. Tying her hair back and putting some blush on, she knocked Logan's breath away.   
  
Pulling her close, he kissed the tip of her nose. "You look beautiful."   
  
With her gaze cast down, Max slightly blushed, still not used to hearing compliments given with no ulterior motive. She knew men found her attractive, but hearing it delivered with honesty and love was all very new. "Thank you." Taking Logan's hand, "Ready to go?"  
  
"Wait, you're missing something else."   
  
The playfulness Logan displayed earlier was gone now, Max could feel the sparks crackling around the room as he took a little box out of his pocket. With widened eyes that darted back and forth between Logan and the velvet box, Max had to remind herself to breath, even with the knowledge of this inevitable moment.   
  
Logan had listed the million reasons why Max should marry him. Poetic declarations of love that rivaled those written by Shakespeare. A backdrop of stars in the night, falls cascading around them. A bridge with the sun setting behind them, their shadows making a silhouette that looked like a heart. But the moment didn't call for any of those. It only required a few simple words, "Will you been mine, forever?"  
  
She was already his, from the very beginning. He didn't need to ask. But a simple answer required a simple response. "Yes."  
  
The diamond sparkled as Logan slipped the ring on her finger, his eyes meeting hers. Both smiled. No words were needed, both would remember and mark this moment as one of the reasons they could claim to have a blessed life. They felt its rightness. The universe was right on schedule, as Logan's mother would say.   
  
*** Dinner at Mrs. Moreno's ***  
  
All of Mrs. Moreno's children sat around the glass-covered dining table, Logan and Max were on either side of her. Everyone noted the change in the manner in which Logan and Max addressed each other. There was more tenderness, more open display of sweeping glances, and more stolen touches and kisses when they thought no one was looking. It made you want to smile.   
  
"Mmm. This is the best cheese cake I've ever had." Max stated, having the last morsel off her fork.  
  
"They cater, Max." Mia offered, "Maybe you can hire them for the wedding."  
  
"Good idea." Tilting her head towards Logan, "What do you think?"  
  
Logan nodded, pleased, his mouth filled with the creamy dessert.   
  
Preparing for weddings took a long time, no one ever questioned Max and Logan about their slow progress. No one guessed that they were just acting before. Even Melvin kept his mouth shut, confident that the two would work it out. When he opened the door earlier, he knew that his prediction was right. The beam on both Max and Logan's faces confirmed how happy and in love they were. No one who didn't know such honest joy could replicate it in pretend games.  
  
"I have a present for you." Mrs. Moreno said, taking Max's hand and leading her to the balcony that overlooked the front yard. The rest dispersed, catching up on the latest news with each other's lives. Like every family, gathering each member at the same time was a rare, but pleasant, experience.   
  
Logan's eyes followed Max as she stepped outside. Before disappearing from view, she sent him a smile from across the room, a teasing one that promised an even better party after leaving the current one.  
  
"Logan's mother gave this to me, she kept it after you left." Mrs. Moreno started, not missing the exchange between Max and Logan, aware of its undertones. It made her heart and soul happy, though it pained at the same time because Logan's mother didn't live long enough to see her dreams come true.   
  
Max took the white box, a ribbon wrapped around it. "Thank you."  
  
"You know that she loved you like her own. This marriage between you and Logan would have meant the world to her." Mrs. Moreno kissed Max's forehead, "She had given me this box, 'wishful thinking', she said. But she was an optimist who believed everything will happen if meant to be, when the time is right."  
  
Blinking back tears, "She was a very wise woman."  
  
Mrs. Moreno patted Max's hand. "She knew the she won't be here when that time comes, but she wanted you to know that she believed that it will."   
  
Max opened the box, a veil and a tiara rested inside. Logan's mother didn't forget, neither did she.  
  
~~~ Flashback ~~~  
  
Max was running around the basketball court while Logan dribbled the ball. He occasionally took a shot, earning him an applause from his biggest fan. Max was wearing a pair of shorts and a T-shirt, clashing with the tiara and veil above her head. She had just gone through the magic boxes in the attic, uncovering articles from Logan's parents' wedding.   
  
When Logan's mom and Mrs. Moreno came back from shopping, Max immediately run towards them, excited to show off her recent discovery.  
  
"Don't I look pretty?" She asked, giggling.  
  
Picking her up in a big hug, Logan's mother said, playing along. "You're the most beautiful bride I've ever seen. So, who are you going to marry?"   
  
Max stuck out her tongue. "Ewww....No one. I hate boys! They're yucky." Never in the history of humankind had a statement contained a more profound truth.   
  
The two older women laughed.  
  
Tripping over one of Max's toys, Logan landed on his butt. He swore, gripping his ankle. This kid would see the death of him. Eyeing Max with annoyance, he brushed her hand away when she came running, concerned. "Are you okay, Logan?"  
  
Standing up, "Yeah, I'm fine." Max crouched down, inspecting his leg, as if she knew how to heal his pain. The extent of her knowledge extended to her experiences as a doctor using the stethoscope in her play set. Irritated, Logan snapped, "Max, move away. I have to get going." Logan's mother had asked him to delay a date with his girlfriend so he could baby-sit Max. He was not pleased.   
  
Max sat on the floor, pouting, Logan had not been very nice to her today.   
  
Going up to his mother, he held out his hand to receive his monetary compensation. "I'm out of here."  
  
"No!" Max yelled, stomping her foot. "You said you'll play with me for the whole afternoon, Logan." Pointing up to the sky, the sun still up, "It's still the afternoon. Teach me how to play basketball, please?" She liked having Logan around, even if he doesn't like her too much. There weren't a lot of other kids to play with. Besides, none of them was like Logan. He was good at everything.   
  
"Come on, Logan. Play with her for a little bit. Your ride won't be here for another half an hour." His mother cajoled, clearly favoring Max. Logan knew that, there was no way he could win his way out of this one.  
  
"Fine." Making his way back to the court yard, he picked up the ball, shooting it in frustration.  
  
Max, for her part, didn't really like playing basketball. So she resumed running around Logan, cheering when he successfully put the ball through the basket. Moments later, a woman in a red convertible stopped in front of the house, honking her horn.   
  
Max gave her an evil glare when Logan barely said goodbye, obviously glad to see the newcomer. "One day, Logan Cale, I'll marry you. Then you'll never leave me." Smelling apple pie coming from the kitchen, Max followed the scent, informing Logan's mom of her decision as soon as she finished eating two slices of the delicious treat.  
  
~~~ End of Flashback ~~~  
  
THE END  
  
A/N Wow, you're still reading ; ) Thank you. The Epilogue will be up SOON. 


	21. Epilogue: Renewed Promise

A/N Thanks for staying with me to the end, I know how frustrating it was. School just sucked the creativity out of me! There's a difference between optimal challenge and overload, I was bordering on the latter for the past year. I'm sorry for making you all wait.  
  
I made several slips, but overall, I'm happy with the story. Jessica, I've never thought of doing a sequel, so there won't be one any time soon. But who knows, writing this story keeps the drama out of my life and into Max and Logan's, LOL! I don't know.   
  
Disclaimer: Dark Angel isn't mine and the lyrics for "Spend My Life With You" belongs to Eric Benet. Hallmark owns the card.  
  
PROMISES  
  
**Epilogue**  
  
***  
I never knew such a day could come  
And I never knew such a love  
Could be inside of one  
***  
  
Bubbles floated around the garden, carried by the wind, reflecting the rays of the sun. They clung to the vines that dripped from the arches towering over the aisle, a white carpet over the grass. Roses and lilies were twisted along the branches lining the top of the seats, dropping bountifully like rainfall. Swans and flowers floated on the lake in front of the Victorian mansion, the scarlet red and deep purple petals contrasted with the surrounding green hills. Tress, decorated with lights, encircled the guests who waited with anticipation for the bride. The priest, with the lake behind him, held a bible in his hand.  
  
Soft music from the piano, along with the breeze, hummed with the rustling of the leaves. Brittany walked towards the altar, dropping red petals on her way. She looked up to Logan who gave her an encouraging smile. He, however, needed no such encouragement. This day had been as natural and needed as rain and light; the secret of creating the perfect garden. Logan and Max had let theirs blossom. He was the life-giving sun, she the haven of life-flowing mist present in early dawn.   
  
Sebastian stood beside Logan, his tuxedo matching the groom's. Mr. Lydecker and Zack, the two other important men in the bride's life, sat at the front row. Her other friends were scattered around, including Jhondie, Kendra and Krit. Tinga and Charlie's son now made his way to join the flower girl, the coins tied securely on the cushion he carried on his upturned palm. Original Cindy, in a white dress that swayed with the wind as she walked, followed the coin bearer. She gave Logan a friendly wink, white lilies decorated her bouquet.   
  
Then the music changed and more bubbles filled the air. Doves flew overhead, rejoicing the significance of this moment, knowing that it was the start of many more. Such pure love, a vow, an invisible bind between two people that would last forever. A sacred joining of souls in front of God. A public declaration of intent that the hearts knew to be real and true. A promise.   
  
***  
And I never knew what my life was for  
But now that you're here I know for sure  
***  
  
Max wore a white strapless gown, the bodice covered with lace, the bottom made of soft chiffon. Her hair was arranged in messy perfection, stray curls framing her face. With a veil trailing behind, the tiara sparkled on her head. She looked like she belonged with the stars, floating above with the clouds.   
  
When Max appeared in view, Logan felt himself vulnerable to the whims of fate. He had always thought of Max as his dream come true. He was wrong. Not ever could he have imagined anyone so beautiful. Logan was at the mercy and favor of immaculate angels for never would he have granted himself a wish like her. At the end of a tearful past lay a present, a gift too precious for Logan to ever ask for but was given nonetheless. The brightest angel was his to keep, and cherish, and love.   
  
Max looked up from her rose covered bouquet and saw Logan waiting for her at the altar. A tear trickled on her cheek, feeling humbled to be the recipient of such awe. All her life, she had wanted to be loved. Every stars heard her wish, the saints knew her prayers, each penny carried her hopes. But to ask and not be given indicated that she didn't deserved it. To wait for so long meant it would never come. There was something about her not worthy of love. Max learned to live with that, protecting herself, convincing her heart that she never wanted such a sentimental lie.  
  
But Logan came back to her life, giving her love that saw past imperfections and mistake. She knew then, she had been given so much. She couldn't have imagined love like that. She couldn't have asked to mean so much in another man's life. A fairy must have favored her for she would never have planned a life so wonderful for herself.   
  
***  
I never knew till I looked in your eyes  
I was incomplete till the day you walked into my life  
And I never knew that my heart could feel  
So precious and pure  
One love so real  
***  
  
The priest took Logan's hand and joined it with Max's. "Marriage is an act of daring which requires that we be brave enough to promise ourselves forever. It requires we entrust our most secret inner selves."  
  
Max looked deeply in Logan's eyes, consumed by the passion and love she found there that reflected her own. Prompted by the priest, she declared, "I, Max, take thee Logan, to be my husband. I promise to love you and be true to you. For richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to have and to hold, from this day forward, all the days of my life."  
  
Logan smiled, mirroring the smile on Max's lips, his thumb soothing hers in tender strokes. "I, Logan, take thee Max, to be my wife. I promise to love you and be true to you. For richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to have and to hold, from this day forward, all the days of my life."  
  
***  
Can I just see you every morning when  
I open my eyes  
Can I just feel your heart beating beside me  
Every night  
Can we just feel this way together  
Till the end of all time  
Can I just spend my life with you  
***  
  
~~~ One year later ~~~ A cabin in the Caribbean ~~~   
  
Light shone through the white curtains, landing on Max's cheeks, waking her up. But the sunshine had apparently hit Logan first, a rare occasion, because he was already sitting against the plush pillows, a goofy grin on his face.   
  
"What are you smiling about?" Despite herself, Max grinned back. Logan's happiness was contagious.   
  
"You. You look so innocent when you sleep. Like an angel." He wrapped his arms around her when she crawled towards him, her body half covering his.   
  
Max ruffled Logan's hair, still surprisingly spiky after sleep. Placing her palm on his stubble, she puckered her lips, receiving a quick kiss from him. "I love waking up with you."   
  
Chuckling, "That's because I feed you breakfast."   
  
"Hey, a girl needs a meal ticket." Max now completely covered Logan's chest, her breast soft against his hard plane.   
  
Feigning hurt, "Is that all I am?"  
  
"What do you think?" She asked, insinuating her hips, its center already wet.  
  
Logan felt like the luckiest man on earth, pulling her close. "Well, I know I satisfy at least two of your appetites."  
  
"Mmm," Max responded in agreement.   
  
***  
Now baby the days and the weeks  
And the years will roll by  
But nothing will change the love inside  
Of you and I  
***  
  
Max stirred her French vanilla as she watched Logan flip a pancake. After a year, he was still a show off.   
  
She rolled her eyes, amused. "When will the pancakes be done?" Dropping marshmallows in his hot chocolate, she settled the cup on the table next to hers.   
  
Looking at his batter, "I still have a few more to go."  
  
Max nodded, taking Logan's robe to cover her underwear and tank-top clad body. "I'm going outside. Be back in a few."  
  
Logan watched as Max stepped out to the garden, smelling the flowers. They loved being on vacation in tropical islands where plants bloomed throughout the year, reminding them of summers with his mom. When he finished cooking, he poured maple syrup on the pancakes, slicing mangoes on the side. He made a plateful for himself and Max.  
  
She came back a few minutes later, having developed the intuition to know when the meal was ready, a skill needed for those who didn't know how to prepare one. She had a few white roses picked out, putting them in a glass at the center of the table. Picking up her fork, she sat on Logan's lap and ate a mouthful.   
  
***  
And baby I'll never find any words  
That could explain  
Just how much my heart my life  
My soul you've changed  
***  
  
Max and Logan walked hand in hand, making footprints on the sand. The water tickled their feet, feeling cool against the heat of the sun.   
  
Sitting down, their knees bent, Max leaned her head against Logan's shoulders. He traced a heart on the sand, earning a swat from Max, "Please."  
  
Laughing, he settled to throwing pebbles in the water. Watching the waves was calming, a perfect complement for the peace they felt inside. To a stranger's eyes, Max and Logan would just be another couple enjoying the morning sun. No one would know the trials they went through. Their story and heartaches known only to them. A secret, a reminder of what life would be like without the other, thankful that they would never go through that again. A gratitude that came from a place of emptiness, now filled with love.   
  
***  
Can you run to these open arms  
When no one else understands  
Can we tell God and the whole world  
I'm your woman, and you're my man  
Can't you just feel how much I love you  
With one touch of my hand  
Can I just spend my life with you  
***  
  
A matching wedding ring glittered in the sun.   
  
A mark of belonging, not possession.   
  
A symbol of faithfulness, not entrapment.   
  
A promise of love, not fear of loneliness.  
  
***  
PLEASE COPY AND PASTE THE LINK BELOW. I hope you have a speaker so you can hear the music too. If you have any problems, please e-mail me at raydyan@yahoo.ca and I will send you the card. Thanks.  
***  
  
Link: p?id=EG4150-658578-31530533   
  
OR  
  
Go to the REVIEW page and I have the link there.  
  
OR  
  
Go to Hallmark.com  
"e-cards and cards"   
"browse free e-cards"   
"pick up a greeting."   
Recipient e-mail: raydyan@yahoo.ca  
confirmation number: EG4505851530533  
  
A/N: Your reviews have made such a difference, saying THANK YOU isn't enough. But before I make this note even sappier than the story, I'll just say how grateful I am : )  
  
And for some of you boycotting "Love Letters" until I finish this, I hope you like that one too. I think I need a break from writing Drama so that one is little more fun : ) I really don't take myself that seriously ; ) 


End file.
